Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Great letter to "first wife" I found online....

Posted by   + Show Post

Dear "First Wife",
I realize you are angry and bitter and I am sorry for that, but you ran him off.  You couldn’t have thought that he was going to alone forever, did you?  He is a great catch and if you had opened your eyes and been a supportive and decent person to him, you might still be with him.  I want to thank you for not opening your eyes, because now he is mine.  I also need to thank you, because of the hell you put him through he grew and learned and is a different better person now.
He is loving and kind and we have a wonderful life.  Oh, and your children you share are also wonderful.  We have such a good time together, despite the things you say about me to them.  Yes, they do tell me.  Why wouldn’t they?  We are very close.
You think you can hurt us by demanding more and more child support.  It makes us stronger as a couple, but why don’t you get off your ass and get a job?  After all, my job is helping to support you, isn’t it time for you to put on the big girl panties and support yourself?  I don’t think we should be putting clothes on your back or food in your mouth.
And, talking bad about us to the children.   Well, that is just plain stupid.  Eventually you will run them off, because you have some really smart kids and they will see through your façade of caring and leave you.  Remember, what goes around comes around, and your time is coming near.
No matter how many times you call, text or email you won’t drive a wedge between my husband and me because we are strong.  We love each other.  You should be happy that he is happy.  But, you are too mired in your own bitterness to notice.
I actually don’t hate you, but I feel sorry for you.  I feel sorry that you can’t move on, even though you moved on when you moved out.  I feel sorry for you that you can’t look at how lucky you are to have children that are loved when they are with their father.  I feel sorry for you that you refuse to accept the happiness that you gave to your ex when you gave him up.  I just feel sorry for you.
Do me a favor?  Quit asking the children what we feed them and how often.  I am a mother too and I know how to take care of kids and trust me when I tell you they are treated as well as my own.  Quit making our lives miserable because you can’t stand to see happiness and joy.
Let’s just call it a day and stop pretending.  I tried to get to know you, but you made it impossible and since you have been so nasty, I no longer have that desire anymore.
I hope you find someone who will make you happy, but unfortunately, I don’t think that will happen.
By the way, we are picking up the kids at our usual time.  You don’t have to pack a bag for them, we have everything they need at our house.

From,
The Better Wife

by on Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:27 PM
Replies (71-80):
stepmozzy
by on Jun. 30, 2011 at 2:43 PM


Quoting qtnik:

You are so right, but I don't think that's what this post was about. Had the OP actually written it instead of looking for it on the internet and posting it like it was the coolest thing since sliced bread (when IMO it's pretty lame), I'd have some respect for it. Hey, I'm married to a SP - I get it. Sucks sometimes! But if my DH ever expressed this sort of thing to me I'd think he was an immature idiot. 

Quoting MommySabs:

I dont think you can come into a group of a bunch of different people all with different families and relationships and dynamics and expect everyone to agree.  All you can do is try to input from yur own life you cant expect that everyone isgoing to bow down ans say okay if you say so.  This was meant as a vent (from my observation) and was not literally going to be sent.  Guess what sometimes it sucks being a bm and soetimes it sucks being a sm and just because someone is having a toough time or pissed or whatever doesnt mean either side has to roll out the big guns and start in on how the other side always does this or always does that.  Everyone needs to have a little compassion for the other and realize that neither is easy and each comes with its hurt and difficulty and while you may be the greatest bm or sm and deal with a great bm or sm some people here are not they are dealing with people who have issues.  Isnt it better to have a frustrated sm/bm let it out here to a group of woman that can understand than to actually do something like this in person?   

 


There have been a lot of articles and letters posted on here that I quite frankly thought stank as well.  This isn't one of them.

Read it for content.  She pays the Ex.  Pays her.  Helps pay for her life.  As in is funding this woman, who is disparaging to her, so to me, she's entitled to a little vent. 

I have been where this woman is, and wasn't as big as she is.  I opted to pull my financial support.  I figure you don't want me, you don't want my input?  Then you don't want my money. 

brownlepard
by Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:08 PM

I super love this!!!

brownlepard
by Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:12 PM

I was a POS first wife...twice!  Me too! But I learned from my mistakes and am a better person now!! Anyone would be better than me, well, anyone my EX would choose (I think)... I'm doin better this time around.   Yay for us!!  ☼

brownlepard
by Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:15 PM


Quoting packermomof2:

Dear "Second Wife",

I divorced his ass. 

From,

Someone who doesn't care that you got the man - I divorced him for a few good reasons and I always knew there was someone on his level out there waiting for him. Or "the bitch" as you prefer to call me.  Either way works.

I super love this one too!!


tazzii310
by on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:20 PM

 hhmmmmm...sounds like someone is the "first wife" lol

Quoting jenessamarie:

Yeah...better wife...hmmm... Sounds like a woman who needs help.

Sad.

 

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:39 PM

Funny...she's not.

Quoting tazzii310:

 hhmmmmm...sounds like someone is the "first wife" lol

Quoting jenessamarie:

Yeah...better wife...hmmm... Sounds like a woman who needs help.

Sad.

 


mikiemom
by on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:40 PM


Quoting closetmom:


Quoting brownlepard:


Quoting packermomof2:

Dear "Second Wife",

I divorced his ass. 

From,

Someone who doesn't care that you got the man - I divorced him for a few good reasons and I always knew there was someone on his level out there waiting for him. Or "the bitch" as you prefer to call me.  Either way works.

I super love this one too!!



I love it too!

Also...

Dear Second wife,

He cheated on me, repeatedly, throughout an 11 year marriage. I am 100% sure he will cheat on you too. In fact, it is highly probable that he already has.

I'm very sorry.

Love,

the ex-wife (thank God)

I would add to this me and his parents and his child are the only humans you don't have to worry about fucking your husband.


brownlepard
by Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:48 PM


Quoting mikiemom:


Quoting closetmom:


Quoting brownlepard:


Quoting packermomof2:

Dear "Second Wife",

I divorced his ass. 

From,

Someone who doesn't care that you got the man - I divorced him for a few good reasons and I always knew there was someone on his level out there waiting for him. Or "the bitch" as you prefer to call me.  Either way works.

I super love this one too!!



I love it too!

Also...

Dear Second wife,

He cheated on me, repeatedly, throughout an 11 year marriage. I am 100% sure he will cheat on you too. In fact, it is highly probable that he already has.

I'm very sorry.

Love,

the ex-wife (thank God)

I would add to this me and his parents and his child are the only humans you don't have to worry about fucking your husband.

sidesplittinglaughter


jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM

What about the current issues? Some bm's don't simply stop at the divorce. The behavior can continue and escalate after the fact.  I think there is more focus on the things that are continued to be dealt with than simply "bm did this while they were married". Bm's behavior after divorce is step related as it affects the home of the bf/sm. It'd be silly to say otherwise. 

I see much more of that brought up than what pet someone had twenty years ago. 

 

Quoting closetmom:


Quoting packermomof2:

Nah, negativity was something that was already going on when I found the group.  Don't blame that on me when some people only whine and complain and don't try to find solutions for their own problems. 


so true, so true.

I also notice much more focus on the ex-wife here than in any of the other Stepparenting groups I'm in.  What the ex-wife did while she was married to the SM's now-husband, how they broke up , why they broke up, how she tricked him into marrying her in the first place, what kind of pet she had 20 years ago... etc.

None of that is step-issue related.



pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2011 at 4:22 PM
Maybe it is the lens I read this forum through, but I do see a lot of ancient history being dragged up to justify hating on BM.

I hate BM. But I could care less how she met DH or how they names their kids or what happened in their marriage or even much of the divorce. How she treated them during their marriage or divorce is not of any interest to me. She did try to talk to me once about why they only have 3 children and what a controllong ass DH had been about it. This was when their youngest was 10.

I did want to know how DH behaved during the divorce and marriage. I wanted to know if DH was faithful. I wanted to know if DH was an involved parent. I want to know about DHs past. But not so much BM.


Quoting jlg12678:

What about the current issues? Some bm's don't simply stop at the divorce. The behavior can continue and escalate after the fact.  I think there is more focus on the things that are continued to be dealt with than simply "bm did this while they were married". Bm's behavior after divorce is step related as it affects the home of the bf/sm. It'd be silly to say otherwise. 

I see much more of that brought up than what pet someone had twenty years ago. 

 


Quoting closetmom:



Quoting packermomof2:


Nah, negativity was something that was already going on when I found the group.  Don't blame that on me when some people only whine and complain and don't try to find solutions for their own problems. 



so true, so true.


I also notice much more focus on the ex-wife here than in any of the other Stepparenting groups I'm in.  What the ex-wife did while she was married to the SM's now-husband, how they broke up , why they broke up, how she tricked him into marrying her in the first place, what kind of pet she had 20 years ago... etc.


None of that is step-issue related.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)