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How To Build And Sustain A Positive Relationship With Your Step Children -- article

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:41 AM
  • 1 Replies

One thing you need to be aware of, once you begin your role as a step father or step mother, is that you need to go slowly when you first begin. Whether through an accident, or a separation due to their parents failed relationship, they may not adjust to you for some time. Getting used to a new step parent can be very difficult for some children, especially if the loss of their biological parent was very recent. No matter what the circumstances, raising step children is a situation that takes patience and adaptability.

Perhaps the most challenging type of situation for step parents is when this is your first experience as a parent. Be prepared for a life-changing experience if you become involved with a person that has children and you have no practical experience in this area.

The way this is going to work is that both you, and these children, are going to have to adjust to having each other in your lives. The best way to approach building this relationship with the step children is to simply be supportive of your husband or wife. Becoming a parent to step children isn’t easy, but as you and the children get used to each other you can eventually develop a solid relationship.

It often takes a great deal of patience to be a step parent. Don’t expect the children to accept you right away, as this may take quite a bit of time. It’s not uncommon for your stepchild to resent you at the beginning. Keep in mind that regardless of the reason they have lost their other parent – due to death or divorce – your stepchild will still miss him or her. That’s why you have to be persistent in your efforts while at the same time not pushing too hard. The best thing you can do is to just be available to the child and assure him or her that you respect their feelings for their biological parent. This will alleviate any fears they might have and allow them to relax and open up to you in their own time.

You will have to be very tactful when any discussion about their biological parent comes up. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchild’s heart. This situation can become even more complicated if your new spouse is divorced from the biological mother or father of your stepchildren and sometimes feels conflicted. Except in cases where the original parent was abusive or neglectful, you should try to maintain a positive, or at least neutral stance towards them. You should always respect the fact that this person was the child’s original parent and not try to diminish their role (or memory) in any way.

To summarize, every situation involving step children is a little different, but there are certain principles that can be helpful. Even if you have had experience with rearing your own kids, raising them from the role of the step parent is a completely different situation. The main thing to keep in mind is that you can’t expect everything to be perfect right away. Through positive interactions with your stepchildren, your relationship with them will blossom as long as you try your best.

http://www.graffitiresource.co.uk/2011/07/how-to-build-and-sustain-a-positive-relationship-with-your-step-children/

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:41 AM
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lilangilyn
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 10:26 AM

This is a great article. Thanks. I think understanding that things will not be perfect right away is really good advice.

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