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So .. since most of us claim we don't give a rat's arse ...

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:33 PM
  • 29 Replies

... why do we really feel the need to talk and rant about it then?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AustinsMama1226
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:37 PM
Because we are human and stuff gets under our skin...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jessiesluv
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:37 PM

Then why do we even have CM?

Maybe we are irritated with something in our lives and then bm comes along to screw something up. Even though we dont care, we feel like ranting.

If we kept everything bottled up inside, we would be some emotional, screwed up people, dont ya think?

Not to mention, CM would be awfully quiet.

By the way, its not just not giving a rats behind about bm- its about a lot of things in life. Dh, kids, the neighbor, neighbor's kids, animals, bosses.

It feels good to let it all out.

jessiesluv
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:39 PM

 And I just want to add- it feels good to find a group to let it all out in where you arent bashed for the way you think. There are some groups on here good for that- this one, not so much. Thats sad.

Pero
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM


Quoting jessiesluv:

 And I just want to add- it feels good to find a group to let it all out in where you arent bashed for the way you think. There are some groups on here good for that- this one, not so much. Thats sad.


But if we really feel that we don't care .. why is there anything left to let out?

cruelella2to
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:02 PM

I try not to care. but when the actions of SK or BM affected my everyday life then its kinda hard not to give a rats ass. I also try telling myself that i just don't care, "if you don't care then it doesn't effect you". that can onlly carry me just so far before i snap and need somehwere like here to say bleep this bleep and rant rave rant.

jessiesluv
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:09 PM

 

Quoting Pero:

 

Quoting jessiesluv:

 And I just want to add- it feels good to find a group to let it all out in where you arent bashed for the way you think. There are some groups on here good for that- this one, not so much. Thats sad.


But if we really feel that we don't care .. why is there anything left to let out?

 There are things that I care about and things that I dont care about.

I will not care about bm getting "set off" by a picture on fb that is of my family, (including skids), smiling with the quote "happy family" underneath it. Why? Because she is blocked from my fb, so why is she looking at my pics? Why is she stalking me? Why does she care? Does she not want to see our kids happy? Is this not dh's kid? Does he not have a say?

But if Im having a crappy day and bm does something to screw something up, even though I dont care about it, I might vent about it. Why? Because it lets off steam.

If you would have quoted my answer to your question, I wouldnt have had to answer this again.

Why is it that there are a few posters in here who try to silence the SMs or try to piss them off all the time? Why are there posters in here who cant seem to grasp that their advice, isn't for everyone?

Why does anybody do anything?

Its post like this that like to get drama started, if you ask me.

So, I ask you Pero, why cant SMs vent without being bashed for the way they feel in a STEPMOM central group? And dont say that there isn't any bashing, because that is complete B.S.

jenessamarie
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:21 PM

I think this is just a good ol' fashioned addiction quite honestly. Drama, debate, running our mouth whenever we want... What not to like? Most ofus came for information and maybe even some support...But then you get sick of really caring and find you can keep bullshitting with people without the anger and resentment... Win/win.... I guess?

Pero
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:31 PM


Quoting jessiesluv:

 So, I ask you Pero, why cant SMs vent without being bashed for the way they feel in a STEPMOM central group? And dont say that there isn't any bashing, because that is complete B.S.


Jessie, I'm not going to get into the silly BM vs SM debate. This isn't about bashing, it's about either individual (SM or BM or God knows who) feeling an above-average need to vent.

Let me tell you a story (and though it's written from a BM POV, the outcome was really helpful to me in both roles).

A couple of years ago, at the beginning of my BM journey (BM as in separated mother), SM managed to plaster DD in eye make-up ... with the result that DD broke out in a huge rash, her eyes watering and so swollen that she could not see out of them in the morning. I was livid and called BF, demanding no more make-up on the kid.

Anyway, things got out of hand, I blamed the make-up, SM (through BF) blamed the make-up remover I used to get he mess off her face. SM marched off to run some alternative allergy test (the result was an allergy to chips???), I involved a colleague (I work in the regulatory medicines sector) and asked for ways to determine what had caused the allergy.

The guy, a very respected paediatrician (worldwide), looked at me as if I was totally bonkers (which I probably was) and said: "Why do you care .. the rule is 'If it hurts don't do it'".

So my conclusion is (and I apply this sentence to most things in my life) ... if I need to vent, and need to vent on a daily or even only a weekly basis ... it must hurt. And if it hurts .. why do I do it? Why do I expose myself to situations that will then require me to vent?

chanizen
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:40 PM
I see very little bashing these days.

Unless you consider having a different opinion bashing. I don't.

And. I think the point Pero brings up indirectly is a good one.

If people vent every day about how they don't care, perhaps they do care. And rather more than is healthy.

I think, upon reflection that I do care. And it makes me angry and hurt sometimes because it affect dh and my kids and, occaisonally, my self perception. But it lessens every day.

It becomes an old problem with not many teeth. And as dh and I become more lined up, the story of us far outshines bm. And step life gets easier.

So I guess, Pero, I don't give a rats arse. My head knows that. But sometimes, when things flare up, and affects my family or me, it takes a bit for that message to get back to my slightly wounded heart.'
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maybaby22
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:56 PM

 Personally never said I dont care- I care very much that is why everything affects me

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