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trying to provide a stable home

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:47 PM
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Hi, I guess I am not really a step mom but my boyfriend and I have been together about two years and his daughter and him moved in with my son and I about a year ago. My boyfriend has full custody of his 8 year old daughter because the mother would drink and become violent (and many other things as well). My step daughter has had a pretty rough child hood but is very smart. Too smart at times. She was also raised by her aunt due to her dad working out of town. Because of her tough child hood she has been spoiled badly and she is getting to the age where she knows just how to get what she wants. she lies about not having home work and many other things. Her mother is in the picture again although does not have rights as a parent. I guess I am looking for advice on how to deal with the sneakiness and lying, she has her dad completely fooled and he is laid back as it is so he lets every thing just slide.... I don't know how to open my boyfriends eyes to see what she does. He has no problem disciplining my 4 year old son. Any advice?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-6):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 9:05 PM
How old is SD? How does she perceive you? Are you SM? I don't think you have to be married to fill the role.
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truly.a.taurus
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:40 PM
An open and honest talk about your feelings with dh should help. Try to state facts not opinions. I also used to have my skids tell their dad what they did and would talk to dh afterwords to ensure they told the truth. Hope this helps.
ShannaBee
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:50 PM
I agree with taurus.
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Dannee
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 5:29 PM

Yeah tell you BF to get off his

High Horse...and open up his eyes...How funny it is though that he see's your sons

behavior and not his daughters...

Personally I would not want to be in a relationship where my BF did not believe my word over

and 8 years old words and actions.

 

momofspuds
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

This is a typical reaction that single fathers have.  It is guilt for the screwed up lives that his child(ren) have to go through.  I see it all the time. 

My suggestion like taurus above, have a sit down conversation with you BF about discipline for both children.  YOU MUST be united and the rules MUST be consistent for both kids.  I would sit down with BF and identify the issues that are present with both children and address how to correct them. 

If you two can't get on the same page then it will just get worse.  Best of luck.

nmaxwell816
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 9:29 PM

 Welcome to the group~

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