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Would you be upset

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:20 PM
  • 45 Replies

Would you be upset if it happened to you?

Me, my DH and SD (5 yrs old) were out and about and my DH makes a comment to my SD about watching a DVD of her 1st year. She said yes all excited and then he made the comment well maybe Panda Bear wll watch it with us, did you ask her?" She then asked me and I said sure. Thinking it was going to be pictures of just her since he was the one who told her to ask me. So we get home and we turn on the video, and it starts and I am sitting there I am realizing how much I dont get why he wanted me to watch this. I was watching pictures of him and my SD as well as BM and my SD and DH. I understand that we both were married before, but I do not understand why my DH would tell my SD to ask em to watch it. It's kinda like a slap in the face. I was kinda upset and hurt that he wanted me to watch it. It would be like me asking him to watch my wedding DVD of my 1st wedding. I know it may sound lame, but why would he want me to sit through a video reminding me that he was with her before me? I love my SD more than life, but she is my reminder, I have to deal with BM for the next 15 years. Isnt that a reminder enough? I dont want to sound harsh but I was truly upset that he wanted me to sit down and see how "happy" they were during her 1s year.


lesbiansCeCilya's Mommybaby gift

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cruelella2to
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:00 AM

yeah i would be pretty upset. I agree slap in the face.

agh81
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:05 AM

It would bother me too. I have to deal with BM for the next 16 years at least. I too love SD, but I hate that she isn't mine and that we have to keep his ex in the loop. I don't have kids and my exes are in the past so I feel like with him it was a clean slate, except not from his side.....

QueenBof6
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:06 AM
I'd be a little upset. That's stuff belongs in the past. a little insensitive to say the least.
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annabelle092810
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:16 AM

Why is it in this group everyone understands but when I put it in the general public as a ? I get snotty comments and shot down??

5monkeysplus1
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:35 AM
Oh, I'm just waiting for the snarky, unproductive comments. But, I agree, I would not want to sit through that either. There are a few pics of BM w/ dh & SS here, tucked away in a drawer for SS when he grows up (and dh asked if that was ok,lol). I don't need to look at them & likewise dh wouldn't want pics of my ex to look at. I'd tell dh next time if he wants to relive that, please do it with out me.
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agh81
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:44 AM


Quoting annabelle092810:

Why is it in this group everyone understands but when I put it in the general public as a ? I get snotty comments and shot down??

I hear ya. Even my mom tries to remind me "how she (bm) feels in this situation". I understand that, but sometimes I would like my friends and family to understand how I feel in this situation. I'm not doing anything wrong, I just need someone to listen once in a while. I also understand that she had a baby on purpose to try to trap a guy into marriage, so sometimes I really don't care how she feels. (I know, I'm selfish)

nursehatchet18
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 1:22 AM

Because NOT everyone understands where you are coming from.

 

nursehatchet18
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 1:26 AM

Yep, It is all about how the BM feels. At least that's how it is in my sitiuation. The Bm of my oldest SS is the ueen of the " what about m crap." It gets really old. Especially , because I and My DH are the ones who are raising and providing for this child. not her. 

jenessamarie
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 2:16 AM
Oh, I watched some of those good ol' videos. Lol. However, things were put in perspective very fast, all in the same video!

There was DH, BM, a bit of SD... Then it's a bunch of them (DH and BM) video taping each other arguing (trying to get video of one or the other acting crazy)... It was kinda sad really... Then the last one was SDs 2nd birthday where he and his ex GF (not BM) were kissing in the pool.

It was awesome! Lol.
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pseudomamma
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2011 at 3:58 AM

I guess I don't get it.  Sorry, I'm trying.  To me, it was part of both DH and SDs life.  Perhaps you should count yourself lucky SD thinks enough of you to invite you to join.  To her it's a special time.  I don't see where it's like you asking DH to watch your wedding video. He's not watching it for BM.   We actually have pictures hanging on our walls of the kids w/BM.  I saved all their wedding pictures for the kids.  DH didn't want them, but maybe they will. 

I have no use for the woman, but she is their mom.  Now I could see you being angry if it was just you two and he wanted to watch it.

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