DD11 never loses her teeth before the new ones come in ... I have to get them pulled in order to make space for the new ones. Now one of them (not very visible) grew slightly twisteed, and it bothers DD. So at her last check-up the dentist offered a referral to the orthodontist, which I accepted (just in case). I then emailed BF to get his views. Since it is only a cosmetic problem, the braces wouldn't be free (they usually are for kids over here), but my health insurance would cover the majority of it (and I have always paid the remainder in the past for medical costs ... can't be bothered chasing BF).
As usual no response to my email (let alone him actually taking her to a check-up, but I digress), so I chased him up. Got a snappy response "why do you ask me when you already got the appointment?" ... which isn't true, all I got is a referral letter in case we choose to go ahead. Anyhow ... he doesn't want DD to get braces, because this might lead to her having Botox and plastic surgery in later life.
I disagree ... whilst I'd rather wait until ALL her teeth have come out (there is another one lurking up there, and the baby tooth refuses to fall out), I think she should have braces if she feels conscious about her twisted one (though it is hardly visible, I admit that).
So what do you reckon ... he wouldn't have to pay, doesn't take her to appointments (dentist, doctor, optician) anyway because that's disruptive to his precious family life ... should he really get a say? We don't have a CO, so this is a purely moral debate.
1. What is wrong with Botox? lol. I'm all for it..
2. So what if she gets braces? If she is going to feel better about herself and braces are not going to harm her in any way, I say go for it.
3. He's a bit dim, huh?
1. The botox and plastic surgery were a swipe at me ... haven't had botox, but had a breast reduction. He keeps mentioning that I should avoid getting cremated when I die, because the stench of burning plastic is horrendous ... I haven't had any implants by the way ... what's the point in getting your breasts reduced when you then blow them up again?
2. Can't see how they'd affect him ... anything to do with hygiene (e.g. washing privates, brushing teeth) is usually taught and monitored by me ... so he wouldn't really be affected.
3. No, he isn't just a BIT dim .. he is VERY dim! ;-)
Here it seems like most kids do get braces. No referral needed but most insurances do not cover it. It seems so normal and like a non issue. I'd probably just get the kid the braces and pay for them.
It is the same thing with DD's teeth not comming out. Hers have grown in all jacked up though. They look terrible. She will be getting braces when she looses more of her baby teeth. She is almost 11 and has 6 adult teeth I think. It may be a while.
I would say he gets no say. You do what you feel is best. I would think it would be best to wait on all of them to come down though. You want it to be worth your time. And it would help her self esteem to be able to smile without being self concious and doesn't in anyway mean that she will want other cosmetic procedures lol!!
I think I'd wait til all her adult teeth have come in to actually have it done but I think it's important at that age that kids have some confidence in their appearance.
I don't see any link between braces and botox and if he's not going to help pay I don't see how his opinion matters in the long run. You're not paying for a nose job or bigger boobs. It's braces. Go for it!
In a case where it will help the child I'd just do it. I actually have an appointment for my oldest to get braces at the end of this month. But my exh (luckily) isn't a douche lol
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157
Quoting chanizen:
My bet: bf won't he pay. So I would talk with the orthodontist about timing to see what the easiest, most cost effective way to do it is. Then, if at all possible. I would pay for it. And I might throw a little guilt to the ex to see if he would pitch in.
I know he won't, I don't expect him to. Nor do I expect him to take her to her appointments ... couldn't possibly expect SM to look after her remaining DD on her own for 1 hour or so, could I?
But I felt he has a right to be involved in the decision-making process. I would not have had an issue had he said "let's wait until she is a bit older and wiser". I'd not have minded him contacting the dentist or (God forbid) coming along to the orthodontist's to discuss options/necessity/future outlook. But he took it upon himself to discuss with DD directly (this was a discussion between us), and make sure to condemn plastic surgery yet again.
When I had my breast reduction I informed him in advance, and told him that I had hoped for his support in sending the right message to DD ... that you do not willy nilly tuck and tail your body simply because you are a bit unhappy about certain aspects of it. I thought over my decision for more than 20 years!!! He assured me of his support in that respect! Support my arse!
SO wonders why I even consult him any more ... 9 times out of 10 I either get no answer or an extremely stupid one.
They think she took him and ran...
- Pero
on Sep. 12, 2011 at 4:43 PM