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omfg BM wins agin i NEED HELP *update

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 1:16 AM
  • 37 Replies

 I have been with SO for three years now, and have never met his folks so we were making plans for thanksgiving to go to WA since he has his kids. well he let it slip to his brothers wife what he was planning and BM has now made arrangements to stay with HIS brother for thanksgiving. So i get to spend a vary uncomfortable thanksgiving. meeting his folks is bad as it is but to have to deal with his x at the same time? i don't want to go but i don't want him to miss having his kids. what do you think i should do

as i said we were making plans, allot is resting on how cour goes this weekend for me and my two oldest sons, so it would be at the hearing when we find out IF we were even going up. Well BM called last night to let SO know she bought tickets for her and her kids, SO is PISSED because it was not set in stone we were going up, and thanksgiving is HIS Holiday this year. Over summer brake during his week to have the kids, she took them to Colorado for a family reunion. SO understands that the kids need other family to but we feel like she is doing it on purpose. 

by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 1:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BluDog
by Member on Oct. 2, 2011 at 1:26 AM
1 mom liked this
*F* that noise. Go be fabulous! (even if fabulous means keeping it real and being quietly awesome). That is what I would do. But that's just me.
SammyJK
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:11 AM
Could dh go without you if you think you'll be so uncomfortable? That way you can avoid an uncomfortable situation and he gets the holiday with his kids. Does he not get them for TG if he doesn't go to his brothers?
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neclark18
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:14 AM
Support him and his kids....keep your head up and don't worry about her one bit. The less you say or even acknowledge her the more she will go crazy
little_buggie
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:28 AM
1 mom liked this

umm WHY in the HELL is his EX staying with HIS brother?  Why didn't HIS brother tell your DH's ex to flake off?  What is that about?  F*CK that noise!

little_buggie
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:29 AM


Quoting BluDog:

*F* that noise. Go be fabulous! (even if fabulous means keeping it real and being quietly awesome). That is what I would do. But that's just me.

HE HE my sentiments exactly!

little_of_life
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:35 AM
that was my thought but he keeps saying we all go or i am not. I dont know how to act around a family have never been around a working family. (I GREW UP IN FOSTER CARE IN A GROUP HOME) so yes i am scared to meet his family, as is. BUT to have to deal with "the daughter they never had" his x makes it that much worrse. SHE WINS. i dont know how to play the game and will admit it.


Quoting SammyJK:

Could dh go without you if you think you'll be so uncomfortable? That way you can avoid an uncomfortable situation and he gets the holiday with his kids. Does he not get them for TG if he doesn't go to his brothers?

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little_of_life
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 2:38 AM
he only has brothers and his x is the daughter they never had, they dont seam to like me at all but i was hopeing mabie if they met me but with her there.. HAHA


Quoting little_buggie:

umm WHY in the HELL is his EX staying with HIS brother?  Why didn't HIS brother tell your DH's ex to flake off?  What is that about?  F*CK that noise!


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Angelknot8
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 9:58 AM
2 moms liked this

   If you don't go your showing ex that shes going to be able to push her way into your life for now on. I would go be polite and just be a support for your dh. Act as if she was just an awkward cousin there.

  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

GlockMom
by Gold Member on Oct. 2, 2011 at 10:41 AM

What do you mean, she wins?  What do you mean you don't know how to play "this game"?  There is no game.  Maybe your in laws like her and still care for her a lot.  The only way she can "win" is if you don't go.  His family can like both of you.  She may not be with your SO anymore, but she is still the mother of there grandchild and they may not be so keen on you if they are expected to remove a person from their lives they consider important.  They can like more than one person.

My ex in laws love me.  My exMIL says that I divorced her son, not my daughters whole family.  Trust me, I in no way have intentions of bothering SM, my relationship is MY relationship with my in laws.  It has not one thing to do with SM.  She doesn't seem to care.  Me and SM get along fine.

Go, get to know his family, if and BM is around, just be the same to her as you would to anyone else there.

packermomof2
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:06 AM

I've never been a fan of having your family start to dislike your ex becuase you don't like them anymore (unless there is a good reason).  And if your inlaws like mom is there really something wrong with it?  Are they supposed to not to because their son/brother is with you? 

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