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Step Mom in need of helpful advice

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:55 AM
  • 6 Replies

 Hi, my name is Pam400 and I am in desperate need of help. I have 3 step kids and one of them is driving me nuts. He is trying to cause problems between his father and I. We fight all the time. He will not take disipline from me. I am at home 24/7. They were removed from their mothers home for abuse and neglect. They now live with us full time. I get no break and she only gets supervised visits 2 hours per week.

I have only been married for 2 years in Feb. I also have my own son who is a senior and lives in Wisconsin. He won\t come to Chicago and see me because of my stepson. I travel there alot to see him.

I really want advise and ideas on how to get my family on track.


Thanks all you moms!

by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-6):
KimberlyMKasten
by Member on Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:57 AM

i would talk to DH and see if he will agree that the step children might benefit from some therapy.

pam400
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 4:54 PM

We have the children in therapy 2 hours per week. I am getting no where with my 12 year old stepson. He won't open up. The 2 girls are great and have adjusted very well and look forward to me being a big part of their life. He is the lost one. Thanks for the reply

Pam

dunnk24
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 8:28 PM

His dad needs to back you up in front of his son. It can be as simple as, "Do what she says." Maybe the 3 of you need to spend time together, or you and ss.

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 2, 2011 at 9:27 PM
You and DH need to keep a united front. And I found out I get a better response from my SS if I ask him, not tell him, to do things. If he thinks he's helping me he'll jump to it! But if he thinks I'm being a dictator he will rebel and not mind.
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Ms.Gwen
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:25 AM
If he doesn't trust/ open up to his therapist than you need to find another one for him. Your DH must discipline him for not respecting you. He must also be the one doing the rest of the disciplining of SS12. Don't be his parent. You can't be a parent to a child that doesn't respect you. After what he's been through it sounds like he's in need of a friend. Be that. Make your house a soft place for him to land. Focus on safety, security, and a consistent routine environment. Let hubby handle the rest.
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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:37 AM

I think your husband should be the one disciplining his son. If his son won't listen to you, then if I were you I would not be taking care of him. If he is young, I'd put him in daycare or an afterschool program, just as dad would have to do if you weren't there.

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