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SD busted - drugs and drinking -15

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 2:57 PM
  • 8 Replies
Not sure where this belongs. We have sd, 15, 100% of the time. Long story but mom is a drunk and an addict and SD lives here because of that. So imagine my surprise when my 16 year old came to me with texts proving SD is a pothead, uses rx drugs from classmates, and drinks. The very things she uses as reasons not to even visit mom, she does herself. Bf took her to the doc today to be urine tested and she later admitted to using a couple of times "long ago, like a month.". Well. My daughter had texts and pics to prove way more use and way more recently.

I'm scared for her. I have stayed out of this as it is clearly bf job to address. But now I know she's been using in my house - and I have younger kids here. She has slowly started to treat everyone here like crap unless she gets her way. She is screaming in the next room that I am a bitch and she will just go live with her mom. She hates me. She hates my kids. She wants to die. Etc.

How would you handle this ladies? I feel strongly that she needs treatment ASAP and more counseling. Her mom is a hot mess and I can see her trying to come et the kid now that kid is mad at us here. She has a court order forbidding her from coming here but I bet she will. Bf is letting her know what's happening but I foresee big drama coming.
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by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 2:57 PM
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Replies (1-8):
ReneeCT
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 3:03 PM

Well, I see things very cut and dry.....using drugs/alcohol endangers the rest of the people in the house.  One word......rehab.  I'd insist on it immediately.  -   change of friends, change of schools, I'd change everything in the kids life and send her to rehab.

Again, I'm the total disciplinarian in the house....my Husband would probably flounder all over the place for weeks and weeks until something bad happened.

Ms.Gwen
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 3:04 PM
As a recovering addict, I would put her in rehab asap. Get her away from her friends at school. If possible put her in a different school when she gets out of rehab. Some rehabs for teenagers are also schools. I would look for somthing like that. I would also stage an intervention with a proffessional therapist. She needs a loud and clear wake up call before it's to late. Her father needs to be the main force in all of this. He needs to take his baby girl by the hand and say "I love you and I am here with you throughout your recovery." you all should check out alanon. They will give you the tools you need to support her recovery and stay strong through the trials it will bring.
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hinklemks
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 3:08 PM

my parents had the same problems with my youngest brother when he was about 15. they tried everything, searching his room grounding him, everything. he was eventually in the wrong place at the wrong time and got sent away for a couple of months. it hit him like a slap in the face when he almost got caught again and was told ( at this time he was almost 18) that it wouldn't be what they called DYS it would be real jail. he ended up meeting a girl and she calmed him down. He knows how serious the consequences are now that he's 19. im sorry you are going through this i know how hard it can be on a family to go through this.

BuddyRoo
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 5:39 PM

Where are you guys when this is happening?

I agree...counseling would be fab. But ya know what? I don't think this is a rehab situation.  This sounds like a rebellious teen situation.  Most of the kids I knew at that age were toying with pot and booze.  not daily...not addicts...just stupid teenagers who needed something ELSE to do with their free time.

Most are well adjusted adults now.

I'm not saying to take it lightly. But how the hell does she have all this time to drink and smoke?

fourandhoping
by Member on Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:02 PM

She is an athlete at school and so she has the time between school and practice/games; she has a friend who takes her to her sister's house in the down time *an  hour or so* and that friend is her source, it has come out.  Also, she does sleepovers with the team and those are OFTEN parties apparently.  She also goes to home games at her school and there is plenty of availability there.  Plus, she schemes to go do things with friends just like a normal teen.  Trust me, she is grounded to us for life pretty much now.  She was using going to her sister's as an excuse, and we trusted sis.  Well, as it turns out sis would let her go out with people we didn't approve.  Now that is exposed and sis is on board with us.

I think also my bf has "given in" alot because he feels guilty about the divorce and about her mom being such a complete waste of space.  So he wants to make kid happy a bit too much, and lets her get away with things to see her smile.  For example he will let her do these sleepovers without really knowing the parents, because she is so excited and gives him the "daddy it's team building" stuff.  Or she says she is sad because her bf is in detention (yep, juvenile detention, just out last week) and then bf feels sorry for her and lets her go hang with a friend.  This friend as it turns out has a dad who plays social host, and a drug source down the street.

 

But FYI - drugs are easily available in any high school.

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:04 PM

Oh my! I hope she turns around.

Angelknot8
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 9:25 PM

Along with the rehab and change of everything she would have to earn back her privacy. Meaning a room and things search whenever and randomly.

  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

BuddyRoo
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:13 PM

Seriously? You people think rehab for this?

Good lord, she's a stupid kid. Not an addict.

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