How did you learn to be a step parent

[diditagain]

Who taught you? Did you read a book? Which one?

I didn't think I would have any trouble with this being a step mom thing because I had a step son with my first marriage. But I adopted that child so... really, I was his only mom from the time he was 4.

The most difficult thing right now is dealing with my "bonus" son's mom. She complains to my husband about me A LOT! But it always seems like John and I are getting along well. I always heard that as a step.... you need to let the BP do the discipline and don't be thinking you are the same as the mom. So I pretty much am easy going with John. How to deal with the BM?

[packermomof2]

You don't, dad does. 

[QueenBof6]

I learned to be a step mom through trial and error.

As far as BM. She's not my problem. Let him deal with her.

[ShannaBee]

I didn't learn. To me, being a mom or a stepmom, is a trial by error thing.

[jessiesluv]

 You took my answer! lol

Quoting QueenBof6:

I learned to be a step mom through trial and error.

As far as BM. She's not my problem. Let him deal with her.

 

[jenessamarie]

You don't deal with BM at all... And your DH can just ignore her if her concerns aren't legit... That way your home has peace. Who cares what she thinks? unless she has a point... If she doesn't, no need to bother yourself with what she says.

If things are going well with SS, all is good.

[whatIknownow]

How to deal with BM? well you could learn that by trial and error like I did - deal with her yourself and watch the shit hit the fan and blast shit everywhere.

or you can learn about it by listening to women who have had to clean shit off of everything after making that mistake.

My advice: don't deal with her. Ignore ignore ignore. Let your DH deal with her.

(I learned that using the shit-hits-fan method. You can choose the less messy option for yourself).

[Sunseg]

Trial and error and some dr Phil lol! Really you should let your dh deal w bm. Try to not let things get to you and rememer to always think about the kids and no matter how good, bad, or ugly the bm is ...she still is the kids mom.

[bremery]

Lulz! If I wasnt mobile, I'd like this post.

Quoting whatIknownow:

How to deal with BM? well you could learn that by trial and error like I did - deal with her yourself and watch the shit hit the fan and blast shit everywhere.

or you can learn about it by listening to women who have had to clean shit off of everything after making that mistake.

My advice: don't deal with her. Ignore ignore ignore. Let your DH deal with her.

(I learned that using the shit-hits-fan method. You can choose the less messy option for yourself).

[diditagain]

You are soooooo right. If I am getting along with hubby and SS then all is well. Thanks for giving me some perspective. :)

[diditagain]

Also.... you guys are right about just letting my hubby deal with the BM. It needs to be his problem. Seriousy, I do not have an ex-wife.