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What do you think?

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM
  • 8 Replies

Skid decides to stay an extra couple of days with mom.

Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them, but then asks mom if she cares if he goes with his dad, but its dad's week.

What do you think about that? Should skid have to ask mom? Why should he?

 

by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM
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Replies (1-8):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2011 at 7:06 PM

No.  if it is Dad's week and he wants to go then he goes.

meeranda
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 7:16 PM

I'm not a step parent, but I am a child of divorce and I know that feeling of not wanting to upset either parent. I think that is what a lot of younger kids worry about. My parents divorced when I was six. My younger brother and I became very intuned with my mother and fathers feelings and hated leaving both of them because we knew it hurt them. Eventually we learned that the other would only be hurt for a little bit. IF and I hope it will never happen my SO and I ever split up I will tell our child that it is ok for them to be with there father because he loves them. I think reassurance is very important. 


Sorry for joining in on a subject that I have no knowledge of. I have step parents who I love dearly and who at first I didn't want anything to do with but they became a part of who I am today. But I am in no form able to say what I would do or feel in this area. I give props to any one who can be a step parent. 

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Oct. 3, 2011 at 7:24 PM
I agree w the above post. Skids already have a feelin of bein responsible for BM and bd feelings. They shouldn't have to worry about these kind of things. It is hard enough for skids going from home to home and still have to worry about how the op is going to feel.
We let skids go w OP if it's one of those "I really miss mom or dad days" and yes, Dh and I feel hurt, but we don't show it until they leave. Then we are fine. I believe reassurance is the best thing for skid. The only reason I would have a problem would be if I felt skid was doing it "to be at the easier house that week. I.e., if kid is in trouble that week at our house he can't get up and call mom and go over there. We usually try to stay in same page as OP in this situation.
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bremery
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2011 at 7:41 PM
No reason to ask when its dads week.
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ShannaBee
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 8:14 PM

What exactly do you mean "Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them.." Do you mean BM and skid run into Dad out in public, like the store, and since it's Dad's day to pickup, the skid asks to leave early and go home with dad and leave BM at the store? This is how I'm perceiving the scenario is that they run into Dad and the kid asks to go home with Dad. In this case I say yes BM needs to be asked.

5monkeysplus1
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 8:23 PM
If its dads week, no. Dad was nice & let kid stay w/ BM a few extra days. It should be as simple as "i want to go to dads now"
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jessiesluv
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 8:25 PM

 No, its dad's week. Skid stayed an extra night with mom. He did run into them, but it is still dad's week.

Quoting ShannaBee:

What exactly do you mean "Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them.." Do you mean BM and skid run into Dad out in public, like the store, and since it's Dad's day to pickup, the skid asks to leave early and go home with dad and leave BM at the store? This is how I'm perceiving the scenario is that they run into Dad and the kid asks to go home with Dad. In this case I say yes BM needs to be asked.

 

Angelknot8
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 9:10 PM

No they don't HAVE to ask but of course the child is going to. As the poster above said the children don't want to hurt a parents feelings.

  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

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