Skid decides to stay an extra couple of days with mom.
Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them, but then asks mom if she cares if he goes with his dad, but its dad's week.
What do you think about that? Should skid have to ask mom? Why should he?
I'm not a step parent, but I am a child of divorce and I know that feeling of not wanting to upset either parent. I think that is what a lot of younger kids worry about. My parents divorced when I was six. My younger brother and I became very intuned with my mother and fathers feelings and hated leaving both of them because we knew it hurt them. Eventually we learned that the other would only be hurt for a little bit. IF and I hope it will never happen my SO and I ever split up I will tell our child that it is ok for them to be with there father because he loves them. I think reassurance is very important.
Sorry for joining in on a subject that I have no knowledge of. I have step parents who I love dearly and who at first I didn't want anything to do with but they became a part of who I am today. But I am in no form able to say what I would do or feel in this area. I give props to any one who can be a step parent.
We let skids go w OP if it's one of those "I really miss mom or dad days" and yes, Dh and I feel hurt, but we don't show it until they leave. Then we are fine. I believe reassurance is the best thing for skid. The only reason I would have a problem would be if I felt skid was doing it "to be at the easier house that week. I.e., if kid is in trouble that week at our house he can't get up and call mom and go over there. We usually try to stay in same page as OP in this situation.
What exactly do you mean "Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them.." Do you mean BM and skid run into Dad out in public, like the store, and since it's Dad's day to pickup, the skid asks to leave early and go home with dad and leave BM at the store? This is how I'm perceiving the scenario is that they run into Dad and the kid asks to go home with Dad. In this case I say yes BM needs to be asked.
No, its dad's week. Skid stayed an extra night with mom. He did run into them, but it is still dad's week.
Quoting ShannaBee:
What exactly do you mean "Dad sees skid and skid wants to come home with them.." Do you mean BM and skid run into Dad out in public, like the store, and since it's Dad's day to pickup, the skid asks to leave early and go home with dad and leave BM at the store? This is how I'm perceiving the scenario is that they run into Dad and the kid asks to go home with Dad. In this case I say yes BM needs to be asked.
No they don't HAVE to ask but of course the child is going to. As the poster above said the children don't want to hurt a parents feelings.
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Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157
Very Proud!!!!!!
- jessiesluv
on Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM