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My little girl broke my heart today

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 9:48 PM
  • 18 Replies

Its not her fault though. My youngest SD was having a pretty rough day so I finally sent her to her room to have some alone time. I walked by and said something (I can't remember what but that's not important) and it opened the flood gates. BM hasn't been picking them up for visitation as scheduled so I thought that has been what was getting her down lately. She hasn't said anything else was bothering her. I would try to comfort her about the missed visitations but nothing I have done has helped. Today I found out why. It has nothing to do with the missed visitations, in fact she's been happy not to go and she said when they do go, she always ask BM to take her to grandma's. Her reasoning: BM and new hubby does not like her, BM stays in her bedroom all the time while new hubby "cares" for the kids, new hubby watches TV the whole time does nothing with them, the girls are left to watch 2 yr old sister get her meals make sure she doesn't get into anything she shouldn't dress her take her potty etc, BM refuses to talk to them unless she is trying to get dirt on us, they have to get their own meals prepared if they are there for them because BM doesn't cook and hubby only cooks for himelf and BM, there's hardly ever food there so they skip most meals there, SD feels its her fault BM wants nothing to do with her, she doesn't feel BM loves her or wants her. Thry spent the night with her Friday and they ate 1 meal from Friday afternoon until Saturday afternoon.

I believe every word SD says because these are even complaints her own parents have made against BM. Every roommate she has had, has made the same complaints. She has admitted in court she stays in bed a lot.

It was so hard to not say anything bad about BM when SD was telling me this. But that is something I refuse to do (even though SD informed today she knows when I am saying the truth or when I am trying to make BM look good) There were times I just held her and cried with her. I hate this. There are times I wish BM would disappear again like she has in the past. BUT I am torn about what would be best for them, what they go through now with her or another abandonment from her.

Sorry, I needed to vent somehow.

by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:04 PM

OMG poor kids! She do not deserve them!

Angelknot8
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:23 PM

That is sad, Have you talked to dh about it? Maybe take sd to see a  therapist?

  


 
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Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

rebeccasmly
by on Oct. 3, 2011 at 10:30 PM

She is acting more like her normal self after our talk. She was holding it all in because she didn't want to upset me because I am always trying to put a positive spin on the visitations and the fun they can have over there and all. She didn't want me to be upset because she doesn't want to go anymore. Unfortunately she still has 2 yrs before she can make those decisions herself. That made me feel horrible though because I pride myself on how open my relationships with my children are and then I hear she was afraid to talk to me.

Quoting Angelknot8:

That is sad, Have you talked to dh about it? Maybe take sd to see a  therapist?


yesmaam
by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 8:53 AM

 No need for the apology! What does BF say about this, what did CPS tell him when he called. Actually, its that bad, you can call.

Ms.Gwen
by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 9:00 AM
Your DH needs to call CPS during the next visitation and ask for a wellness check.
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pegleg63
by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 8:21 PM

Oh how sad!  Can you go to court and ask that the visits not continue? 

LizzieJane
by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 9:05 PM

 That is heartbreaking. Poor kids! Is the 2 year-old your SD as well, or is she BM's child with the new husband? In either case, I would call CPS just for the safety of your own SDs, but if there is a baby living there full-time then I would be even more concerned for her welfare.

jessiesluv
by on Oct. 4, 2011 at 9:46 PM

 Poor kids :(

maybaby22
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2011 at 10:07 PM

So sad :(

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 5, 2011 at 12:27 AM
All I can say is that poor child and call CPS.
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