Cell Phones

[Arkansasgirl79]

 So I'm not sure what to do...or if we should do anything. So DH and I have DD10 and SD10 (fixing to be 11) that live with us. SD13 and SD9 live with BM. All same BM. Well BF and I agreed that there wouldn't be any cell phones for the kids for the kids that live with us until at least Jr. High. We did talk and get one for DD ONLY to take when she goes to her BFs because he wouldn't answer his phone. So she gets it when she is leaving and it is taken back when she walks in the door. SD13 got a cell phone from BM a couple of years ago...fine, she lives with BM, DH felt like that was her decision. So he doesn't even monitor SD13s phone. So BM got SD10 a cell phone for her birthday. Well, she is going to...her bday is Wednesday. DD has been begging for a phone and I keep telling her no. So now I should do what? Should SD10 be able to have a cell, even though DH and I told them no cell phones? Should we let her have it when at our house for communication with BM only? Should it just be let go completely? I don't know. I just hate telling DD all the time "Well you are my kid, I make the decisions for you". And I say it ALLTHE TIME! It is really hard when they are the same age, the same gender and live in the same house, but the rules are always different.

[Angelknot8]

If she gets to talk to her bm when at your home on your home phone then don't allow it to be used when its there. Your house, your rules.

[Arkansasgirl79]

 BM had our home phone number only.  Due to abuse of cell phone  numbers. But BM never called. SD did call her sometimes. But I thought about maybe telling DH he should let her have it for communication with BM.  Then it gets taken away at x time everynight.  I don't know.  I don't know what the right thing to do is.  It just feels like we always end up conceding because BM lets them do things that we don't.

[afwifeandmommy3]

She can use it a bm only. No cell means no cell . Ten is young to have a cell

[Arkansasgirl79]

 So does DH take it away and only give it to her when she asks to call BM? Or should he give it to her for certain hours of the day? Or how should that work? I think it is too young also. DH and I have talked about it a long time ago and said that they wouldn't get them until AT LEAST Jr. High.  That is 2 more years.  And we didn't say that they should for sure get them then.

[ScrltBegonia]

My SD's BM bought her a cell for her bday.  She just turned 10.  I personally think that is too young for a child to have a cell phone.  She and her sister stay home before and after school alone.  A home phone would suffice for that situation, IMO.  My DH and  I have also discussed when we will be getting our little ones a cell.  They will get a cell when they start driving.  The nearness in age of your DD and your SD makes it tough when the rules are different.  So, I would just make the rules the same.  Only allow SD to have it at such and such times for contact with BM.  If BM does not like this, then give the phone back and use the home phone for contact.  At that point you may also have to take DD's away too.  Why does she need a phone for weekend visits to her dad's??  My SD never calls her mom when she is here, doesn't have any desire to that we are aware of and her mom rarely rarely calls us when we have SD.  So maybe your SD knows that your DD gets this phone and now she has convinced her mom to do the same thing??  IDK.  If it were me, I wouldn't allow them to have them.  Period.  End of Story.

[Jjsmommy03]

well yes your house your rules she maybe can have it to talk to mom but its not fair to your girl and yes 10 is too young to have a phone , im saying that from experince, my parents got me one at 9 years old and well its not like i wen out or even needed one but since then i fell in love with phones and it got me use to always having the best and the newest and the greatest so its not a great thing specially not if they still cant pay their own bill , once i got it though at 9 my parenst made me help around the w=hiuse alot alot more since i still coudnt work but at 15 they stoped paying my bill and i had to do it on my own if i wanted a phone 

[Arkansasgirl79]

 DD is only allowed hers when she goes to her BFs to talk to me.  She doesn't go EOWE...only long breaks.  But we do talk daily, even when she did go EOWE.  He wouldn't answer his phone or allow her to call me.

[Ms.Gwen]

Look at it this way... If BM got SD a puppy after you said no would you have it in your house? Of course not! I think the cell phone rules that apply to DD should apply to SD. Your house, your rules and you've got to have the same rules for both of them cause they are so close in age! So when SD gies to visit BM hand her her cell phone. Will BM be happy? No, but has she taken you guys into consideration? No, if she doesn't lke it than she doesn't have to give SD a phone.