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New tricks - stonewall the SM

Posted by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 1:40 PM
  • 16 Replies

New this weekend - stonewall the stepmom!! SD called earlier asking when her dad will take her to some party they were supposed to go together. Talked to me like I was a total stranger, I asked how she was - said "I am very fine thank you"!! with no hi or hello to me. Then she comes home this weekend, looks right through me, and talks only to her dad, sits in her room - which she has never done. On waking up, wishes only her dad and right now sitting at the breakfast table ignoring me completely. Teenage girls sure know how to make things difficult. This stonewalling will get me more peace of mind is what she perhaps doesnt get. I am very happy doing my thing. Husband made us all breakfast and I am enjoying the quiet. But I sure am curious to see what drama comes up next. I have done everything for this child for the past 4 years and now suddenly out of the blue, this! Her father feels it too, but he is staying out of it - so am I really, gladly at that. I will let her make her slips and missteps. If she doesnt need me suddenly - she can surely have her way. I will not intervene. If she wants to be civil with me, I will respond. Cold wars aren't really my thing. I am just way too amused. 

Any SMs there had this experience....





by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
the2nd.stepmom
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 1:51 PM

Oh yes my SD13 who's usually one step behind me all day got mad because I punished her for stealing the first time it happened and she decided to give me the silent treatment for 2 days, (OH how that hurt me lol) then when she forgot and began talking to me I didn't respond. whent all morning with out saying a word to her. just sat back and enjoyed the quiet. wishing I could piss her off today I need a break!!

Chiu
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 3:22 PM

I am just curious to see how far she will stretch this. I know it is hard to put up with a stepmother. She must have real and perceived issues plus the age when she starts her period is not easy at all. She is dealing with a lot. I can see that. I am with her on this. But I will not be iced out. I will just give her time. Deal with it in her mind - figure out how to come out of her shell. Then we can do somethings together - silly things like craft, drawing, playing a word game, watch her silly teenage TV shows - listen to audiobooks. Something that requires no judgement no heavy stuff - just clean plain family fun. Or maybe gossip a little bit about the rest of her cousins - that gets her started like nothing else ;-) Or talk about her cats - or feed a stray that comes to our doorstep. 

Sigh - the pleasures of being a step mom to a teen girl. God bless her pretty little soul. 

Angelknot8
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 4:26 PM

No can't say that I have my ss is still way to young. I'm still in the good stage with him. Though from what I've read here 3 y/os can also cause hell with sm's guess I'm just lucky so far.

  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

jessiesluv
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Yep. Teens. They are so hormonal!! lol

mikiemom
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 8:58 PM
2 moms liked this

so the child has disengaged from you? why is that ok for sm's and not skids

DPrice67
by on Oct. 16, 2011 at 9:44 PM

I think this is more a girl thing than a boy.  My DD tried it and found that she needed to much to stay quite.  SS never tried it.

jenessamarie
by The follower :) on Oct. 16, 2011 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this
It sounds to me like she fine with all of it..

Good job OP, sounds like you have a plan and IMO, a good one!

I think everything will be just fine.

And yeah, quiet? Yes please! Can I get some of that over here?


Quoting mikiemom:

so the child has disengaged from you? why is that ok for sm's and not skids


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2011 at 12:35 AM


Quoting jenessamarie:

It sounds to me like she fine with all of it..

Good job OP, sounds like you have a plan and IMO, a good one!

I think everything will be just fine.

And yeah, quiet? Yes please! Can I get some of that over here?


Quoting mikiemom:

so the child has disengaged from you? why is that ok for sm's and not skids



I got the same vibe that OP was really OK with it, understood what it was all about, seemed a bit hurt by it but was adult enough to deal with that in healthy ways and is enjoying a little peace.  I don't think this SM took it as a bad or unexpected thing at all...

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Oh yeah - and bio teenagers do the same thing...

Chiu
by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 8:35 AM

She came around after a few hours of playing distant. Told me how her house guests at mom's place are ruining her sleep (two very young cousins visiting). She hates to share attention, and I think that is hurting her more than the sleep issue. Well her parents have to help her deal with it. As for me, all I had to do was ask her if she wanted to play a board game and flood gates opened.... wish it will be like this - this easy I mean. I know it will not. But I am okay with this for now. Thanks for responding all. 

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