My hubby and I have been together for almost 4 years now. And though I love him dearly, when he has to pay child support-it never fails to irritate or upset me. Now, we are talking way more than a couple hundred dollars a month, into the pretty thousands is more like it. (hubby is a computer programmer) We have talked about it, and he usually does a good job of giving her the check when I'm not around, because he knows it bothers me.
I know it's for the boys (he has 3) and that it can't be changed, but he pays her so much that she has enough left over to go on summer vacations, etc. to do landscaping on her 2 story house that sits on almost 2 acres, (while we struggle to get by). He also is STILL helping pay the mortgage on her house so that she is able to live there and have the boys grow up in a "nice" house. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to afford to live there.
I just want to get to a place where it doesn't bother me. I have times where I'm fine and it doesn't phase me but then I have other days where it's hard.
I remember a year ago or maybe even more recent than that, we had the the oldest stepkid with us (he's 14 soon to be 15) And we were talking about highschool and going off to college and he had mentioned, " yeah when I graduate highschool dad won't have to pay mom as much..." He said it very casually, but also aware that while the money helps them live better, it has become a financial burden for us.
I"m currently a stay at home, but I've been thinking very strongly about getting back into the workforce so that paying her child support isn't such a dent in our budget.
I'll even admit to a little bit of jealousy, in the sense that she gets the "nicer" things in life.
I don't know, I think I would better able to deal with it if he wasn't paying her so much. He came home from work one day and was mad, I had asked what was wrong and he had said he was talking to one of his co-workers who is divorced, has more kids than he does, and pays his ex half of what we pay now.
I have thought about going to see a counselor. I'm sure there are things that I'm not looking at correctly. But hey if it helps.
How have you coped? (maybe i'm just the weird and unusual kind. lol )
Advice, please. :)