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Ultimatum, Bm needs to get out!! Legal update!!! dont know but..*

I am step mom of two mother of three, end of last month So's kids were over his son, got up from the table with his plate, i didnt think because the plates go into the kitchen. but he walked over to were our ten month old was eating, and slabbed the plate over his head. I was so MAD!! I grabbed my baby up made sure he was ok then tool So's son my the arm and gave the kid a swat with the belt (never would i think i would ever use a belt on a kid) SO was just as mad as i was when he got home, but he had been punished. Not much SO could do but talk to him. When SO talked to BM she just said kids will be kids and he dosnt like the baby taking his dad away from him! ARRR  Well i went into court with my X and got full custody of my to oldest sons and now my SO's X is telling him that she will not allow her kids around spoiled rotten brats. Excuse me? my sons use there manners, and do as they are told the first time and have no completes from any teachers from school. Where as BM, is in the school office once a week because of her daughters behavior. WE Even had CPS interviewing us because of the behavior display at school by his DD. I am venting, i dont like my SO not seeing his kids, but i can not stand his childrens behavior or that of his X. I need to vent because if i vent to SO he feels bad because it is all to true and he knows the danger his children put our ten month old in. As soon as we can move into a Six bedroom and hire an attorney we plan on going for custody of his kids also. We believe it is not his kids ideas to be so mean and rotten but there moms. Any ideas on how to help with them while they are hear? Or how i can convince them that the baby is not taking away there dad?

I meet with the prosecuting attorney today, her concerns are that in several different interviews with BM kids they admit that there mom has flat told them if baby is in the tub and i have them play with him hey need to hold him underwater I do not rember when but there was a day that while i was folding laundry (same room) that i let my oldest play with his baby brother while he was in the tub or open up the baby gates and gently push him out the door or down the steps. The kids were interviewed separately but what they both told the interviewers matched. The prosecuting attorney doesn't know what charges they are filling but she did ask if i was willing to have the step kids placed in MY home LADY are you NUTS you have been sitting hear telling me diffrent ways on how they have been informed to kill my son, and you want me to let them live with me full time? my thoughts subtract a few? what i told her was before i let them in my home we ALL need therapy, i am outta my league on how to deal with my feelings on this.  i haven't heard anything since i left yesterday. MY SO and i have agreed his son needs help not a criminal recored but it is now in the hands of the state. We have made are wishes clear on his son as for his crazy x well no comment

last i was told was step kids are now in foster-care, and BM is waiting for arraignment, dont know if i spelled it right but she goes into court to have charges officially brought forth. I have no idea how the court system works so i am only putting down what i was told, sorry if it ant right.

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 2:17 PM
Replies (121-127):
SarahLynn0315
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 1:53 AM
You should not have hit him with the belt. If I were BM, I'd have the works filed against you.

I can see myself going into "omg protect the baby!!" momma bear mode. But you know what? You had a 10 month old that needed to be hospitalized. I can see maybe smacking him out of sheer shock, but going and finding a belt after the fact? That's not right. Not your kid, not your place, and not an appropriate disciplinary measure either way.

I wouldn't allow him back in ky house until he was going to therapy several times a week and appearing to make progress.
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bellaamore
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:08 AM

What a scary situation. I have no advice, other than pray and talk to your SO about what HE wants to do about his children.


WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:25 AM


Quoting SarahLynn0315:

You should not have hit him with the belt. If I were BM, I'd have the works filed against you.

I can see myself going into "omg protect the baby!!" momma bear mode. But you know what? You had a 10 month old that needed to be hospitalized. I can see maybe smacking him out of sheer shock, but going and finding a belt after the fact? That's not right. Not your kid, not your place, and not an appropriate disciplinary measure either way.

I wouldn't allow him back in ky house until he was going to therapy several times a week and appearing to make progress.


I agree with you. 

baquick
by Bronze Member on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:52 AM
I could hardly understand the post...? What ever happens, I hope for the best for all involved....
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Amy1973Potts
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 8:10 AM
Were you intoxicated when you posted? This whole thing is ridiculous. Legal if it's only once? And learn to spell. PLEASE.



Quoting little_of_life:



Quoting WifeyC:


 


Quoting Quinn525:


It's illegal in my state to hit a child with anything other than your hand.  Otherwise it's misdemeanor child abuse. 



It's also illegal for someone other than a child's parent to hit them.


If Bm would get off her high horse (figgere of speach) and be an adult i have a feeling her kids would be kids not demons. but She thinks its her job to make ours hell, and as the doc said  as he filed complant odds are the ten year old will be charged, hence his mom will be to. in our state it is legal as long as it only hits them once. Personaly i never agrees with hitting a kid, but he addmitted to the cop he wants the baby dead.


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Amy1973Potts
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 8:21 AM
Agreed. Going back AFTER the fact to hit SK w a belt...Eh..But at the time if my 10 month old had been knocked senseless/so hard that the plate, BROKE? SK would be across the ROOM. Ten is old enough to know better, BM is conditioning them (if any of this is true) to kill the baby, and I'm sorry, I would protect my own and roundhouse
anybody who willingly hurt my kid if they were old enough and large enough to know better. A small child? No. Larger child acting maliciously? You bet they would get removed immediately. And BF called to deal w it. I wouldnt care where he was. Ass home NOW. Deal with this child.

Honestly who the hell teaches their children to kill an infant step sibling? I smell a psycho or total BS.


Quoting CKuse:

Yeah.. I gotta say I've only ever spanked one of my nephews once and I didnt like having to do it a.d probably felt worse about it than he did.. but if someone else's child ever touched my child there would be Hell to pay. everyone is so wrapped up on the poor ten year old who was punished what about the ten MONTH old. if course who cares poor pity bm and her child.

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Amy1973Potts
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 8:47 AM
The more I think about it, the madder I get. Had this been me, I wouldnt give two shits what BM thought, nor anyone else. What this kid did was premeditated and prompted by BM. That ten mo could be dead if the fontanel had been pierced. I could only hope I could keep my shit together long enough to call 911 and NOT make the ten yo a skid mark on the wall.




Quoting crs2442:

 


Quoting kristinbugg:


 


Quoting LemonZest:


 


Quoting liltigersmom:

Me too. Sm had plenty of time to calm down but she decided to swat the kid still.
as a bm I would be pressing charges against the sm obviousily she is not fit to raise kids not even her own.




You may be a non-spanking parent, and if so, that's your prerogative.  But it's just silly to criticize the OP for spanking after she'd calmed versus reacting in anger.  It's reacting with anger that too often turns a reasonable, corporable punishment (by legal definition)* into physical abuse.


*Texas permits spanking by step-parents and also in schools.  My state does also.  In discussions such as these, it's important to recognize a difference in law and culture.  Many posters have screamed "that's illegal!" incorrectly, confusing legality with their personal perspective/situation.  The OP did not legally abuse her SS or overstep her rights.


Well...the other PARENT didn't spank the child.  The SM did.  SM is not a parent and should not be putting her hands (or belt, in this case) on a child that isn't hers.


 The story is more than that though if you read the update. After reading the mom encourages the kids to hurt the baby, I don't blame her. The baby can't defend itself, and it the SKs want to hurt him, I'd do anything to protect him. I also wouldn't allow the kids in the house.


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