Hi I have been married for 2 months now and have been living together for over a year. We have 2 kids at home with us one from each of us, mine is a teenager and his is 5yrs old and is mainly just with us for an extended weekend every other week. The kids get along with each other and with the new step parent...the problem lies with the different parenting styles we have.. I am more structured and he is more layed back. Again, this is not the real problem because he can see that structure works and makes us happier. The real problem is that I am used to being the mom in my house (I also have 2 other kids that are off to college) and he had a mear 6 months alone with his little with just a few overnights a week. I think that he is too attached to her every move, he puts her to bed every night...cute I know but sometimes he is up there so long that he falls asleep. He picks up her favorite foods even though I have already done the shopping. He jumps every time she says "Daddy can you..." That drives me crazy. At 5 I had to teach her how to go in the cupboard and get a cup to get water out of the fridge because he just does everything for her. Again, I have made subtle changes or have learned to bend on things...the thing that comes between us the most is when he vetos something I tell her like " we need to give you a bath after dinner" he will say "no we can do that later" or anything I say that she needs to do like homework or clean her room or just about anything he says "No that ok she doesn't need to do that".
I was married for 22yrs and never had to ask or get an opinion on whether or not give my kid a bath...now that it is not my kid but a part of my family do I as the mother of the house have to pass things by him? Daily routine things? I guess I should be happy he loves his kid but it really frustrates me and sometimes I feel like it is 2 families living under the same roof not a mother and a father raising 2 kids?
Any help as to how best to handle this?