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Not sure how to handle this or what to think.

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I guess a little background first before I get into what I want to ask. My first hubby and I split up some time ago and for the first several months he was an active part of our sons life and then he just . . . stopped. He doesnt call or visit him or anything. My son hasnt seen him in almost 5 months. Hes only 5 years old. Hes to the point where he can understand what a  dad is. My current hubby and I have been together for a year and has always treated my son like he treats his kids. Hes never made my son feel left out. They get alot wonderfully.

 So My hubby went to pick my son up from school today its half a block away so we walk. And i guess wen he got there the teacher said "theres your dad" (this is my sons first year of school and naturally his father hasnt been involved so they dont know the background). My sondint say anything but left with my hubby. I guess on the way home my hubb was asking my son what was wrong and m y son said that he didnt have a dad that JD (his BFs real name) used to be his dad but that he wasnt anymore. My hubb didnt really know what to say becuase he didnt want to say anything bad about my sons BF so he left it at that and came home.

So anyway I am really at ends with HOW to deal with this. Hes FIVE years old for damns sakes! My son knows who his father his but he sees it that because hes not around and doest really bother with him its almost like my 5 year old has lost respect for him. He even refuses to call him dad and refers to him by his first name only. My hubby and I have never said anythign bad about him in front of my son or ever referred to him in a bad manner in front of him either.

When they got home my son refused to tell me what was wrong and what they talked about so I didnt push it and left it at that.

I just really dont know what to do. Any advice?

by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:27 PM
Replies (11-11):
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 9:09 PM
My DS is 3 almost 4 and when dh and I moved our families in together DS told me that he didn't have a dad... bf is out of the picture and he doesn't remember him at all. I told my son that he was so lucky to have a mommy and a bobby.. plus a grandma and a paw paw.. and lots of aunts and uncles who love him dearly...

On fathers day I was helping SD and DS make fathers day cards for dh. And DS asked dh if he would be his daddy now.

Its so hard to watch our little ones hurt.. I think and this is just my opinion from my situation and from having a step dad myself... that maybe dh can tell him that even if he's not his dad he loves him and can do dad things with him.. and then take him out for a boys day just the two of them...

It might make DS realize that someone wants to be dad or at least do dad things with him
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