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Will you ladies help DH and I?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:12 AM
  • 23 Replies
DH and I are at a cross road. BM keeps refusing DH his time with his son, She bad mouths us to SS and hes very emotional about it. She also has the me me me syndrom. Not actually whats best for the child. Yesterday SS had his surgery and the dr mentioned to mom it would be best if DH kept his son for the first few days seeing how we live 5 minutes from the hospital that dr works at. CO states split school free days. She refused but then mouthed off about her having to get the bad end of SS recovery while we get the easy part. Ok? shes not happy with either choice. Anyhow, we also have 2 other children and my hubby was just informed he will be getting laid off in a few weeks. Christmas is coming up and the girls need jeans. Our crossroad is do we buy christmas and clothes for the girls that are here full time or spend money and file for contempt? To us either way a child is gonna feel that the other child is more special. Were just under alot of stress and over thought everything that we just dont know what to do. Pls help shine some light on this. We just dont want hurt feelings or to make the wrong decision because both are extremly important and maybe other opinions will shine a light were we apparently dont have electricity running to it. Thanx in advance.
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:12 AM
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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:25 AM

Quoting fancypantswife:

To us either way a child is gonna feel that the other child is more special.

That's a strange of seeing it. As if a trip to court was a gift to the child!

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:33 AM
Quoting Pero:

To us its not a gift. SS asks us in front of BM if he can stay with us cause mommy is always mad and yelling at everybody and drinks all the time. Its not wanting to hurt his feelings. He gets no attention unless its bad attention. She will just tell him to shut up and get in the car when we meet to return him.
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:38 AM

The kids shouldn't know anything about court.  Buy Christmas for the kids but spend less than you normally would.  Use the rest of the money and file for contempt.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:43 AM

What will filing for contempt change?  Will it get you more time or make up time...what are you wanting?  Will the court give it to you?  Why would going to court make one child feel less loved than the other.  Don't tell them it is "jeans or court".  Sounds like DH needs to get a job ASAP.     

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:50 AM
The contempt charge could wait until you have more income couldn't it?
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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:56 AM
I would say file in court. If you have a chance of getting him more or at least your CO time. I know it would be hard for your kids to understand but I'm sure Xmas is going to be a little less this year anyhow with DH losing his job.

I also think you might be able to ask the court for her to pay the fees since she is in contempt.

Getting your SS your Co time and having him more is really important. It's always a family sacrifice for us. Not that I am proud about it but sometimes my younger daugter has to deal with unusual events because of my SD, but we are a family regardless.
by Hi, my name is... on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:57 AM
im sorry to hear about your dh.:/..My dh got a paycut,and last xmas we learned our lesson.we spent a little less(not much,screwed ourselves then I guess)and still got the whatever look from the kids..i have 2 dd 8 and to ss12 and 15.its a lose lose the jeans.I dont get why x mas is made of memories instead of could be bc me and my siblings r all dec bdays,plus my dd and my ss.So it was always a hard month for my parents and I rememebr more memories then what I got that year.

I dont like what post said above,get a job!...its not that least where im at.sometimes its even better to stay on unemplyment then take any job around..

I would buy the jeans.xmas can wait until tax time.make it special w MEMORIES this that $.who cares what others think.go to yard sales and decorate.Save the money..

idk how far comtempt will go...u know courts and bm r on the same side lots of the time...sad but true..I hope ur skid recovers well!bm should have listened to dr.
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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:00 PM

How old are the girls?  Up to a certain age, if you purchase at a second hand store or find gently used hand-me-downs, kids are not likely to notice the difference.  If you have extended family that will buy the kids gifts, it doesn't hurt to let them know what the girls need that you cannot provide at this time. 

As difficult as it is to be in this pinch, the overall welfare of a child trumps what Santa can bring.  I'd go to court.  There are an abundance of part-time jobs that open up during Christmas, so if it's possible to work additional hours, there's another option to help support costs.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:02 PM

Dont file contempt charges, let BM have her way right now.  Focus on family right now and the last thing a kid needs while recovering is to have pissed off parents because of court.  Not every insult deserves a response. 

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 12:02 PM
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There is a form you can fill out to have the fee waived in court.
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