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DH foolishly asked for extra time..

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:16 PM
  • 11 Replies

 So dh's work Christmas party's are next month. He works at a major company who has one for children and one for adults. He wrote bm this past weekend asking if he could have ss for 4 hrs to take him to the children's party ( its for children of workers). And of coarse bm says no. Why? Because her father works there and he wants to take ss.  Yeah I get its not dh's time and its the grand parent. But seriously shes already admitted in court that her parents have ss 3 days a week. Its bm and dh's child NOT the grandparents would it kill her to let dh take ss for 4 hrs!?! Obviously! Its such bs that EVERYONE'S time with ss it put before dh.

  He aslo offered her to have ss at 4 pm on Thanksgiving instead of 8pm so ss could spend dinner and time with her family, in return he asked for 4 hrs with ss on Christmas. She wouldn't answer him and said she would write him a message ... You know on the computer she told the courts she didnt have and couldn't get online ever.

  


 
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Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ramita
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Trust me I know the feeling...what's sad is in our situation the step-dad of my step-son is more concerned with BD having time with his son than BM is...Its crazy how some BM don't seem to get how important it is for their child to have a relationship with their BD especially when the dad really wants one...

nmaxwell816
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:17 PM

That just sucks!

LoriDeen
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:48 PM

Choose your battles. Why make a big deal out of who is taking him? It's not like your DH can't see his son once he gets to the party.  This seems like a small issue.

Angelknot8
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:53 PM

Oh see thats what you'd THINK but anytime, even at a store if dh sees bm and ss he is turned away and hustled off. Even when in the same room if its bm's time ss is NOT allowed to even go near, look or speak to dh.And yes I said not even LOOK at dh. If ss even remotely turns toward dh bm and or her parents or whoever shes with will  repeatedly say ss's name and not allow him. So yeah its kind of a big deal when dh will be there with our children and all the people he works with and not even be allowed to speak to his son.

Quoting LoriDeen:

Choose your battles. Why make a big deal out of who is taking him? It's not like your DH can't see his son once he gets to the party.  This seems like a small issue.


  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

brendafrenda
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:22 PM

So sad for both SS and DH.  It's hard to believe that parents can be so vindictive and selfish.  Our BM started out that way.  Once she got married to a man with kids they were to busy to be difficult.  But, we try to always follow the court order.  I'm sure eventually we'll have a similar sitch.  Hope Christmas works out!

JoeliePoelieMom
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:29 PM

That's why we never bother asking for extra time.  It's not worth it.  The only time she's ever allowed extra time is if he gives up even more time in exchange (sure you can have them Thursday night, but only if you give up the weekend).  

DH's work party is a family event with a Santa Claus and everything.  It's a non-kid weekend so they'll just miss out.  We're not selling our souls to the devil, so to speak.  

How long have you been at this?  With a difficult BM, I think you just eventually learn to let go of the rope and just take what you have.  

annabl1970
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:34 PM
Oh used to be the same with SD and BM! She would be scared even look at him if she was with her mom. I do not even know what to tell you, DH NEVER had any holidays with SD,it states in CO that they share the holidays, never happened, SD would Not even come for father days.
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ShannaBee
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:17 PM
I feel ya.
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maybaby22
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:23 PM


Quoting nmaxwell816:

That just sucks!

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Angelknot8
by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 12:28 PM

I've been with dh since before ss was born. She would send him emails while she was still pregnant saying she was going to do anything she could to keep dh from ss. Shes held true to her words.

Quoting JoeliePoelieMom:

That's why we never bother asking for extra time.  It's not worth it.  The only time she's ever allowed extra time is if he gives up even more time in exchange (sure you can have them Thursday night, but only if you give up the weekend).  

DH's work party is a family event with a Santa Claus and everything.  It's a non-kid weekend so they'll just miss out.  We're not selling our souls to the devil, so to speak.  

How long have you been at this?  With a difficult BM, I think you just eventually learn to let go of the rope and just take what you have.  


  


 
Owner of the cafemom group
Parenting a child with Behavioral disorders by adoption or step parenting  http://www.cafemom.com/group/115157

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