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calling sp mom/dad and co-parenting

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:39 PM
  • 73 Replies

When I married my husband, bm, dh, and I all sat down and talked about our boundaries, she told me how she wanted me to be another mom to my ss and how she wanted the three of us to all co-parent. The way we do it is definatly not traditional at all, but it works for us, what do you think about calling a sp mom/dad. And including the sp in co-parenting?

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
E_is_4_Ethan
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:43 PM

oh boy.... here we go again! Sorry not about your post, but this is a hot topic around these parts...lol

JoeliePoelieMom
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:45 PM

I say you do what works for your family.  I don't believe in forcing a child to call a SP mom or dad, but if the child wants to and everyone is okay with it, why should it be a problem?  

mikiemom
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:05 PM

I guess if mom and dad are of the type of parents (in my opinion not good parents) to not care about this then go for it.

Not for me. I'm a good mom and expect to be my child's only mom.

italianmama0015
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:20 PM
3 moms liked this

mikie just because my husband and his ex parent this way does not mean they are bad parents. See I don't go on here and say if a parent is a bad parent because honestly who am I to judge? just because someone does something different does not mean it makes them a bad parent.

Quoting mikiemom:

I guess if mom and dad are of the type of parents (in my opinion not good parents) to not care about this then go for it.

Not for me. I'm a good mom and expect to be my child's only mom.


SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow! So not being concerned with a title makes someone a bad parent? Glad we all don't have to live up to your standards and can instead concentrate on important things.

Quoting mikiemom:

I guess if mom and dad are of the type of parents (in my opinion not good parents) to not care about this then go for it.


Not for me. I'm a good mom and expect to be my child's only mom.

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italianmama0015
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:34 PM

We just don't concern ourselves with titles.

Quoting SassyMom25:

Wow! So not being concerned with a title makes someone a bad parent? Glad we all don't have to live up to your standards and can instead concentrate on important things.

Quoting mikiemom:

I guess if mom and dad are of the type of parents (in my opinion not good parents) to not care about this then go for it.


Not for me. I'm a good mom and expect to be my child's only mom.


cgarlic
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:20 PM
I know when me & my now dh got together our kids were 9 & 6. We discussed (not with kids) just letting kids call us by our first names. They both have "alternates" who have always been in their life (mostly). Recently my dd (now 7) has been calling my dh dad sometimes. She knows who her dad is, but also realizes who takes care of her as "the dad" of the family. We do not correct her, its her decision (we didnt discuss with her, just go with it). I then approached my dh about how he feels about it & agreed it was up to them (her) what she calls him.
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sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:22 PM

My fiances DDs asked if they could call me mom when we got married.  I told them that they could call me whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't late for dinner! lol  Seriously, I told them that I was fine with it, but that their mom might not be.  If they wanted to call me mom I told them not to do it in front of their mom. EVER. They decided that calling me by my first name was a better option.

I think whatever everyone feels comfortable doing is fine so long as everyone (including BPs) are all on the same page.  Personally, I think it's cool when BPs get along with SPs.  I had a friend who's mom and dad were friendly.  Her mom even worked with her step-mom.  They all got together for holidays!  I thought it was weird, but she was completely cool about it and my friend is the most well-adjusted adult I know!

italianmama0015
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:49 PM

It is best when bps and sps get along your right. Bm wanted me to be another mom, but we never forced the kids to call me mom, they picked that up themselves. bmom has never had any problems with that. We do alot of family stuff together too.

Quoting sandeeyo:

My fiances DDs asked if they could call me mom when we got married.  I told them that they could call me whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't late for dinner! lol  Seriously, I told them that I was fine with it, but that their mom might not be.  If they wanted to call me mom I told them not to do it in front of their mom. EVER. They decided that calling me by my first name was a better option.

I think whatever everyone feels comfortable doing is fine so long as everyone (including BPs) are all on the same page.  Personally, I think it's cool when BPs get along with SPs.  I had a friend who's mom and dad were friendly.  Her mom even worked with her step-mom.  They all got together for holidays!  I thought it was weird, but she was completely cool about it and my friend is the most well-adjusted adult I know!


SammyJK
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:58 PM
I think that in a case where bm & bf are both involved (not absent), that the title of "mom/dad" should be reserved for them exclusively.

A sp can "co-parent" AS LONG AS BOTH BPs agree.


Quoting italianmama0015:

When I married my husband, bm, dh, and I all sat down and talked about our boundaries, she told me how she wanted me to be another mom to my ss and how she wanted the three of us to all co-parent. The way we do it is definatly not traditional at all, but it works for us, what do you think about calling a sp mom/dad. And including the sp in co-parenting?

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