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Now I feel bad

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:08 PM
  • 5 Replies

BM decided not to show up for her visitation this week, no surprise there. She insisted she wanted to come see their Christmas performance last night though. We always invite her to everything they do so I made sure she had all the correct info, which she did. She promised she would be there because she "feels so bad for not seeing them much lately". I was excited for the girls since they are always asking her to come to things and she never does. I told them that she was planning on coming and she didn't show. BM sounded so sincere when we talked or I wouldn't have said anything. Come to find out, she decided to decorate the Christmas tree with her new husband last night instead, something she promised to do with the girls when she picked them up this week. Of course, I'm not telling them that but it makes me feel worse that I actually told them she was coming. I should have known better but I honestly thought she would be there. The oldest was so disappointed. DH doesn't understand why I feel so bad so I needed to come vent here. 

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-5):
amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:36 PM
:( sorry. *hugs
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LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this
It is so difficult to see children chronically disappointed by a parent who fails to follow through on their word. I deal with this due to my xh, it is very hard. What I don't do is make excuses. If the kids aske me, and they do, I just say that what xh chooses to do is up to him, not me.
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RTXmommy06
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:54 PM

 Ugh I totally understand, and I am SO sorry you're feeling like this. I have been there a million times with my SD. It's so heartbreaking to see them disappointed. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't tell her anything until right before it happens because of this reason, but that doesn't work either because then everything turns into a surprise and that gets really old lol.

I'm sorry mama :( I know you just feel bad because you care about them and you don't want to see them hurting and sad. Sounds like you're a good SM :)

ShannaBee
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:21 PM
(((hugs)))
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gr8d8n3mom
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:34 PM

When my girls were small, their BD was like that. I always made sure he had copies of schedules and let him know about all activities, he would tell them he was coming or it looked like he could make it, and he'd never show. I stopped reminding him and wouldn't let the girls call him to ask if he is going to come. I told them he has the list, if he can make it it will be a nice surprise for him to be there. I felt that way they weren't getting disappointed

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