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Why my SS feel the need to share my baby with their BM?

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 1:44 AM
  • 36 Replies
I am a SAHM, I have a son who will be 18 in March and a baby boy who just turned 8 mths. Im also raising my 3 step sons, twins will be 17 in Jan. and a 14 yr. old. I spent my evening with my step sons mom, her hubby, at her father house for a family Christmas party that my step sons requested. No one was real sure why they wanted their family all together but grand dad (moms dad) took on the responsibilty to make this happen for the boys. Come to find out they wanted THEIR entire family togehter for my baby boys first Christmas. Why do the feel the need to share my baby boy with their mother who dont even raise them? She gave them up in the divorce 12 yrs. ago, when the twins was starting pre-k and the youngest was only 2 and my hubby has raised them by himself up until 3 yrs. ago when I came into their lives. The twins are kinda on the akward side anyhow...they have no common sence, slow with social skills, very imature for their age, and irresponsible.
Im just trying to figure this out cause they have no answers... other than it is their baby brothers first Christmas so they wanted everyone together...but hubby and I sucked it up and gave the kids what they wanted. I think it was harder on hubby than it was me, exspecailly when his x walks up to him and asked to hold the baby...he headed straight for the bottle of wine.
 
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 1:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Andie646
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 2:24 AM
9 moms liked this

They want to share their joy with everyone in their lives.

They love their baby brother ... they love you ... they love dad ... they love mom ... to them, this is perfectly logical. All of the people they love in the same place for Christmas, celebrating the newest member of "Club Loves" first Christmas.

grey7399
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 2:51 AM

they are proud & happy & wanted to share with everyone

mom2lyl
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 2:57 AM
4 moms liked this

They are proud of their baby brother. My SS and SD does the same without realizing it. They are 4 and 6, my DD (thier sister) is only 1.  They ask for her to come over and visit at their house, (bio moms) and if bio mom can babysit. Of course they don't understand why she can't go over there, they just want their family together. It sounds like your step kids just wanted this christmas more for them than baby brother. When was the last time they got a christmas with mom, dad, stepmom, grandmas and grandpas all at once? Maybe they realize this might be their last chance and used baby brother as an excuse. kids are smarter than what you think and it worked right?

ViZickuhr
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 3:12 AM
2 moms liked this

Very Akward.... I totally understad we did this for my SS birthday one year (per his request) and it was very weird... lets just say that it hasn't happened again. I know that you do it to make your kids both step and biological happy but where do you draw the line..

brendafrenda
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 10:24 AM

My SS7 has asked if my DS can come and spend the night at his home.  Never gonna happen.  I think smaller children may not understand that their family is really two separate families.  Otherwise we would all be living together....lol!  Anyway, I would think that 17 yo's would understand the distinction.  But, it was nice of you to do that for them.  That would never happen in my sitch....just not in the cards.

MaraJade27
by Member on Dec. 19, 2011 at 11:16 AM
5 moms liked this

It doesn't matter if she gave them up. It doesn't matter (to them) if she was mean to them, called them names, whatever. THAT IS THEIR MOM. I emphasize it to make a point.

That will always be their mom. It doesn't mean they don't love and appreciate you. It means she's their mom.

They wanted to share their baby brother with their WHOLE FAMILY. It was nice. It was sweet. They included you in that. THey included everyone that they love. You are one of the ones they love. How special and awesome is that?? :)

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 19, 2011 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting halfpintx5:

I am a SAHM, I have a son who will be 18 in March and a baby boy who just turned 8 mths. Im also raising my 3 step sons, twins will be 17 in Jan. and a 14 yr. old. I spent my evening with my step sons mom, her hubby, at her father house for a family Christmas party that my step sons requested. No one was real sure why they wanted their family all together but grand dad (moms dad) took on the responsibilty to make this happen for the boys. Come to find out they wanted THEIR entire family togehter for my baby boys first Christmas. Why do the feel the need to share my baby boy with their mother who dont even raise them? She gave them up in the divorce 12 yrs. ago, when the twins was starting pre-k and the youngest was only 2 and my hubby has raised them by himself up until 3 yrs. ago when I came into their lives. The twins are kinda on the akward side anyhow...they have no common sence, slow with social skills, very imature for their age, and irresponsible.
Im just trying to figure this out cause they have no answers... other than it is their baby brothers first Christmas so they wanted everyone together...but hubby and I sucked it up and gave the kids what they wanted. I think it was harder on hubby than it was me, exspecailly when his x walks up to him and asked to hold the baby...he headed straight for the bottle of wine.
 

I'm curious as to why you felt the need to make sure we knew the twins were losers, because that doesn't really seem relevent to the rest of this story. It just tells me you don't like them very much, and maybe even resent them for some reason.

ThePinkRobot
by on Dec. 19, 2011 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this
I think them being socially awkward is the exact reason this went down. At a younger age it would be cute but they obviously don't get it the way most kids their age would. Oh well. You made them happy. You survived. If it was really painful just say no next time.
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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 19, 2011 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it is really sweet of the boys to want to share their new baby brother with their family, and it was really nice of their grandfather to make it happen and invite everyone over. They seem like nice people.

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 19, 2011 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting halfpintx5:

I am a SAHM, I have a son who will be 18 in March and a baby boy who just turned 8 mths. Im also raising my 3 step sons, twins will be 17 in Jan. and a 14 yr. old. I spent my evening with my step sons mom, her hubby, at her father house for a family Christmas party that my step sons requested. No one was real sure why they wanted their family all together but grand dad (moms dad) took on the responsibilty to make this happen for the boys. Come to find out they wanted THEIR entire family togehter for my baby boys first Christmas. Why do the feel the need to share my baby boy with their mother who dont even raise them? She gave them up in the divorce 12 yrs. ago, when the twins was starting pre-k and the youngest was only 2 and my hubby has raised them by himself up until 3 yrs. ago when I came into their lives. The twins are kinda on the akward side anyhow...they have no common sence, slow with social skills, very imature for their age, and irresponsible.
Im just trying to figure this out cause they have no answers... other than it is their baby brothers first Christmas so they wanted everyone together...but hubby and I sucked it up and gave the kids what they wanted. I think it was harder on hubby than it was me, exspecailly when his x walks up to him and asked to hold the baby...he headed straight for the bottle of wine.
 

I'm curious as to why you felt the need to make sure we knew the twins were losers, because that doesn't really seem relevent to the rest of this story. It just tells me you don't like them very much, and maybe even resent them for some reason.

If she talks like this about people she loves so much, how does she talk about people she dislikes?

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