Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This is why I hate weekends!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:54 PM
  • 8 Replies

 This morning, DS lies about jumping on the couch (when I walked in and saw him), DH is right behind me and sends DS to time out. Okay, I agree, he was jumping on the couch, and he lied about it..

SD was jumping on her matress, and when I had told DS to stop jumping on the couch, I had told SD to stop jumping on the matress (toddler matress, living room campout last night). I turn to walk away and look back over my shoulder and SD is jumping from the couch onto her mattress.

WTF? So I tell DH to handle it

DH: SD were you jumping on the couch?

SD: No!

DH: Chellz saw you

SD: Oh!

DH: Don't do it again!

SD: Okay

Me: Um.. DS is in time out because he lied about jumping on the couch

DH: DS come here

Ds comes in the room

DH: You don't have to do the time out, just don't jump on the couch anymore

WTF?!! So NOW DS doesn't have to do timeout, for LYING, because you don't want to punish your daughter.

Lying and jumping on the couch are time out offenses.. They know better. I told DH that I'm not letting my son get away with the same bullshit he lets his daughter get away with.. She can grow up to not follow any rules, but DS will. At that, I told him that he is not to punish DS anymore.. that I will handle it !! I'm not going to have him send DS to time out and then 45 seconds later tell DS he doesn't have to do the time out, because DH doesn't want to punish SD. Ds should have done that time out.. he lied and jumped on the couch.. screw up your own kid.. don't screw up mine!

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:54 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Sorry, I know you're mad, but your DH was trying to be fair (except went in a different direction than you wanted him to)!  Sometimes men are so dense, but sounds like he's trying!

Dana333810
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:07 PM

Sorry you're having a bad weekend Momma. Hope it gets better for you guys!!!

4and1mom
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:09 PM
It's called weekend daddy guilt and I dont know if they ever get over it. You can either ignore it and make sure your own kids are raised to know better or you can fight it and make your own life and marriage miserable.... It sux either way.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cgriff89
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:16 PM

Sit down with him and go over the rules. If he tries to let something slide pull him aside and remind him of what you have talked about. I have 2 from a previous relationship and my DH and 1 from a previous relationship. When we first moved in with each other I would notice he would let things slide that I didn't agree with. So we sat down and talked everything over. Now we are on the same page (for the most part) and if there is something neither of us are to sure on we talk to one another before deciding on the punishment. 

I hope you can get something figured out.

BrandiGra
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Okay-- when SD did what she did why didn't you state house rules and made her suffer the same consequences as your DS?



Chelliza1028
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:27 PM

 DH and I play very different roles in the other child's life. My son does not have a father in his life.. DH is the only dad my son has ever known, and my son has adjusted very well to DH being an authority figure. However, SD has a full time mom in her life, who doesn't suck. I don't try to parent SD anymore.. all it causes is her and her mother resenting me, and it's a mess. So I let DH deal with it when it comes to his daughter.

I would have sent DS to timeout myself, but DH jumped in to back me up with DS.. When it comes to his daughter.. I state my thoughts and opinions to him..

He can make his own moves concerning her.. but I don't want my kid screwed up and thinking that rules don't mean anything because he won't punish his own kid..

Quoting BrandiGra:

Okay-- when SD did what she did why didn't you state house rules and made her suffer the same consequences as your DS?



 

BrandiGra
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:30 PM

Okay-- I couldn't remember but I knew there was a reason. I think at that point then you should re-enforce what punishment you think your son deserves and put SD out of your mind.

You are disengaged and she is not your child not your problem. You have to find a way to let it not get to you. Take a walk. Leave the room. Find something to do until you can let it go.

chanizen
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:49 PM
The message to dh: I invoked the punishment without consulting me. That is not ok. You are primary in the house with decisions with sd. However, with my child, you will not override me unilaterally.


Quoting Chelliza1028:

 DH and I play very different roles in the other child's life. My son does not have a father in his life.. DH is the only dad my son has ever known, and my son has adjusted very well to DH being an authority figure. However, SD has a full time mom in her life, who doesn't suck. I don't try to parent SD anymore.. all it causes is her and her mother resenting me, and it's a mess. So I let DH deal with it when it comes to his daughter.


I would have sent DS to timeout myself, but DH jumped in to back me up with DS.. When it comes to his daughter.. I state my thoughts and opinions to him..


He can make his own moves concerning her.. but I don't want my kid screwed up and thinking that rules don't mean anything because he won't punish his own kid..


Quoting BrandiGra:


Okay-- when SD did what she did why didn't you state house rules and made her suffer the same consequences as your DS?






 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)