When mom wants to get something for her kids that SM can't provide for her own kids

[whatIknownow]

got this idea from a post in another group but wanted to post this here:

So my sister, who is a NCP mom with 3 weekends a month, wanted to get her DD a laptop. DD is 13, almost 14.  SM said no (and yes, it was SM who said no, not Dad... SM runs the show over there and makes sure BM knows it) because she cannot afford to get her own children a laptop, and it would not be fair for DD to have one if the other two kids can't have one. Her kids are about 12 and 15 (I think). These are not Dad's kids, they are his stepkids.

So, no laptop for DD.

What do you think of this?

[jessiesluv]

 I think mom should get it for her house. If she gets it and tries to take it anyway, sounds like SM is going to make sure she doesn't get to use it or make her share with the other kids.

[leegirl_jm]

It is just as ridiculous as when SM can afford to get her kids something and BM can't. They all need to understand that when children have different parents they will have different economic circumstances as well.

[jessi2girls]

get the laptop and keep it at bio moms house only so as not to rub in other siblings faces would be the polite thing to do.

[annabl1970]

Depends.
I think if NCP pays pennies\or does NOT pays at all any CS\or constantly late with his\her CS payments, and CP has to provide for everything ( and this includes good portion of CSM's salary), yes, CSM has rights to be UPSET about ^^^, but still she does NOT have rights to say NO.
If NCP on time with her\his CS and amount is reasonable, NO way SM has rights to be upset\ to put her nose in "what bioparent buys for his\her own child".

[1FlMom1]

I agree that the laptop should stay at BM's house.  SM may not like it, but she doesn't get to dictate what goes on in BM's house.

[kustomkidz]

I say either they share it (which I'm sure BM would hate) or keep it a BMs house. SMs house, SMs rules

[packermomof2]

I think Sms' with that attiude ought to realize mom doesn't have to care that SM can't afford things that mom can for her own kids.  Mom can do for her kids what she wants and SM has to deal.  Just like mom has to understand when SM does for her own kids but mom cannot (or will not) do the same for her own.

[paladinmom]

I'm thinking that I agree with keeping it at BMs house.  It really stinks that SM is being this way.  I can tell you if BM were to buy a laptop for my SKs and send it home with them, there wouldn't be too much of an issue.  I use my laptop 95% of the time and the kids use the desktop.  So, it would be SKs computer and BKs would use the desktop.  Not so much of a problem for my house... 

Tell your sis to go ahead and buy it.  It will be her DDs special thing to use while at her house.  Your sis shouldn't NOT buy it bc of SM.  Perhaps a bit of mediation for these issues?  (I can't remember if you sis has been using one or not, I accidentally deleted the PM when I was trying to save it!)

[GlockMom]

Seriously? Isn't it the BF house too?

Quoting kustomkidz:

I say either they share it (which I'm sure BM would hate) or keep it a BMs house. SMs house, SMs rules

[jenessamarie]

Yup. Agreed.

Quoting packermomof2:

I think Sms' with that attiude ought to realize mom doesn't have to care that SM can't afford things that mom can for her own kids.  Mom can do for her kids what she wants and SM has to deal.  Just like mom has to understand when SM does for her own kids but mom cannot (or will not) do the same for her own.