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13yr SD diagnosed w/adhd & inflexible-explosive disorder

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:02 AM
  • 8 Replies
Omg.. I met sd when she was 6.. I always knew she was a little "off" in the head.. Had constant psychotic meltdowns over minimal things such as chores, homework.. DH just called her "emotionally unstable".. I also recognized she adhd.. But Dh refused to "label" or "medicate" her.. He felt good parenting would "fix" her. She's now 13 and worse behavior due to the age and hormones.. DH finally gave n a few months ago and allowed me to get her tested.. Came back w/2 diagnosis that go hand in hand.. Her inflexible-explosive disorder is like "the terrible 2's" that she never grew out of.. They said her temperment is "genetically inheriented" aka she's truly her bio mother child.. BM is drug addicted, alcoholic bipolar who i've witnessed snapping at a moments notice. It helps to have a diagnosis, but SD has ZERO impulse control.. For example, she stole 14 bags of snack chips and 12 oatmeal pies and ate them in the 40 min. it took me to drop off her sister at school. I found the wrappers that day, and she admitted it.. To me that's crazy, she didnt eat it out of hunger, but she has NO filter.. Long term prognosis is high risk of jail, pregnancy, addiction, etc. DH doesnt want her on meds, just adjust our parenting to "diffuse" situations.. I keep telling SD one day someone wont make an attempt to "diffuse" anything, but retaliate.. Im scared to think of the road rage she will have when she drives.. SD is very angry. Everything "gets on her nerves".. Bm walked away and signed over rights, no contact no for 5.5 years.. Sd is mentally and emotionally draining.. Even though we "diffuse" situations, it doesnt change her behavior.. she has to learn impulse control, and for whatever reason she refuses to.. Anyone else living in blended family hell like me? Omg!! DH and i have come close to divorce several times cuz of Sd and her crazy, erratic behavior..
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by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-8):
mirm99
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:57 AM
Omg... I'm so sorry..it sounds like ur describing my sd BM.. poor thing.. have you tried counseling to help her cope w her anger and issues she has..
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Nicoleb9
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:33 AM
It's her father's job to discipline her properly. And if getting her under control includes medication that he isn't providing, that's another thing he's not doing right. I doubt it's gonna get any better until he gets it together and decides that this isn't gonna be fixed by indulging her behavior with "diffusions" and "adjusted parenting". You'll probably have to really put your foot down on this one.
amonkeymom
by Amy on Feb. 13, 2012 at 1:55 PM
2 moms liked this

Sometimes it's not a matter of "won't" learn things like impulse control but can't learn it for whatever reason, and medication can definitely help with that.  Keep talking to your DH... remind him that if SD had diabetes, he'd give her insulin... this really is the same thing just a different illness.

blossom413
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:32 PM

DH SS from 1st marriage is just like that. One time I had to bake a bunch of sweets for a bake sale, woke up at like 3am to find him sick and crying on the dining room floor because he had tried to eat it all! He was 14 years old and no impulse control what so ever. He said he had started out taking a few bites because I wouldn't let him have the ones I needed. He's 18 now and not allowed in my house since he was 16 for various reasons, well mainly because he became violent with me and his younger siblings. DH and BM didn't want him medicated either. I still believe that was the wrong choice. If they had started him on medication at 13 he may have had a chance, now he's 18 with little education because he wouldn't go to school and thinks the world owes him. Not to mention a drug addict and currently on the run from a warrant.

At 13 your DH isn't going to be able to just put her in a time out, eventually she will just get up and walk right out the front door. She needs help to learn how to control herself and medication may be the only way.

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:34 PM

Inflexible-explosive disorder (IED), seriously!!?? What kind of diagnosis is that? Sorry off topic but never heard the term.

nananproud
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:37 PM

SS12 has at least ADD/ADHD, possible ODD or even the inflexible-explosive disorder you posted about.  The mental health place in our town is just a money pit for medicaid and SO doesn't have insurance thru work for them.

SO doesn't even mention the word homework to him anymore b/c of the intense explosion that followed.  He has been suspended so many times in school that eventually the state will step in and institutionalize him so they say.  I don't believe them though.

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this
First step, get a second opinion. This 'diagnosis' is not a real one that is acknowledged in the DSM-IV, the diagnosticguide for psychiatricissues. It is a term coined by one psychologist to describe a group of kids with similar symptoms. Second, after you have received an appropriate diagnosis, follow the entire treatment plan - one that will likely include meds.
1FlMom1
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:55 PM
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"Inflexible-explosive disorder"

And all this time I just thought my ex-husband was an asshole.  There's actually a name for it!

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