Step childern hate me and my husband is giving up
Hi, I am new to this and kind of in desperation. I to am a step parent. My husband and I have been married for four years. His kids and I don;t really have a relationship. When we first started dating, I had a good relationship with them. We would play, talk and have a good time. Since our marriage it has gone down hill. I am at a loss. My husband now, wants to leave to make his kids happy. To me I feel that is a cop out. I have suggested counceling but he hasn;t responded. We have a good relationship (so I thought) but now that he wants to leave I feel like he is giving up. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Why don't you have a good relationship with his kids anymore?
You haven't really provided us with much information to really give you any useful suggestions.
Why don't you have a good relationship with his children anymore? What happened?
Why has your relationship with your husband gone downhill?
How much does DH have his children?
there are not a lot of details, but everything you wrote could have been done by me except.. Instead of him wanting out, i do.
i dont know how old his kids are... But it took sm here to point this out to me.
when dh and i were dating... I wasnt in the house, we still played games and got to know each other. We were friends. Hubby doesnt play dungeons & dragons.. But all the kids and i do. So we did have a good friendship thing.
marriage didnt really change it. I just became a part of the house. I didnt act a parent, i was just a cool aunt.
but our problems started after my lo was born. Its just been one arguement after another over anything a baby can need.
its frustrating. His kids are all legal adults... But they act like 2 yos. Im done.
i keep trying to fix it, but just dont see how.the more it happens the less i like his kids and the less i care.
so if you get ideas.. Id love it
welcome to group!
Unless you can give us some more information, including examples of how the relationship with the stepchildren went south, we can't give you any advice. DId you treat the kids differently once you married their dad? Were you the disciplinarian? Did you move in with your child and disruptpt their routine?More information would be very helpful.
This
Quoting Dana333810:You haven't really provided us with much information to really give you any useful suggestions.
Why don't you have a good relationship with his children anymore? What happened?
Why has your relationship with your husband gone downhill?
How much does DH have his children?
What about doing a separation instead of a divorce as a first step. Move out and get an apartment to yourself and go back to "dating" him for a while. See if that improves your relationship with him, and if it helps at all with his kids. Then maybe you can work on integrating with the kids, and see if you can figure out how to make it all work this time around.
Because, honestly, if he's already decided he has to pick you or the kids, I'm not sure how else you'll change his mind.
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on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:20 PM