Anyones SO seem to be jealous of the new man living in his house, with his kids and wife? Everytime my SO speaks of his exe;s new man it seems like he's jealous. It kind of makes me sad. Why is he jealous when he is the one that left her? Did he want her to never be with anyone again? Sorry I am rambling...........anyway just wondering if this is normal
I don't know. =( Try looking at it from a different perspective.
Do you have an ex you had children with?
If so, did you feel any twinge of jealousy that a new woman was around your kids and ex?
After just typing that, the answer came a little more clear to me, myself. I would say that it's more that he may be jealous that he is around his kids, not so much her. KWIM? Some men are just as vulnerable to this as BM's are with new SM's!
My kids dad passed away so I don't have that. I understand what you are saying. Maybe you are right. But when he talks about him it's "her BOYFRIEND or whatever he is" the jealousy shows more when it's about him and her. But then again he does get upset when kids talk about him too. So maybe. But it is hard in my position. It's like we can't have a conversation about her or him without my so getting upset with me (like I am wrong) he protects bm and blames me and bm's boyfriend. I hate arguing about bm's life. I personally don't care yet I feel that I need to be here to listen for my SO. Does this even make sensse how I wrote it? haha sorry.
Quoting Dana333810:
I don't know. =( Try looking at it from a different perspective.
Do you have an ex you had children with?
If so, did you feel any twinge of jealousy that a new woman was around your kids and ex?
After just typing that, the answer came a little more clear to me, myself. I would say that it's more that he may be jealous that he is around his kids, not so much her. KWIM? Some men are just as vulnerable to this as BM's are with new SM's!
Oh and thank you for your quick reply =) I do see your point
Quoting Dana333810:
I don't know. =( Try looking at it from a different perspective.
Do you have an ex you had children with?
If so, did you feel any twinge of jealousy that a new woman was around your kids and ex?
After just typing that, the answer came a little more clear to me, myself. I would say that it's more that he may be jealous that he is around his kids, not so much her. KWIM? Some men are just as vulnerable to this as BM's are with new SM's!
I'm sorry to hear that your children lost their father, I didn't know.
It still honestly sounds to me that his problem is with the boyfriend. It also sounds like he is projecting his feelings on you. Sometimes with men, (and some women) we hurt the people we love most when we are hurting. Men especially, because emotions are harder for them to deal with and to express with out feeling weak.
I would just be there for him when he needs an ear, and talk to him as if you were talking to a friend that has a new SM/SD in their kids' lives. Be patient with him, it will get easier in time.
Quoting lildylant:My kids dad passed away so I don't have that. I understand what you are saying. Maybe you are right. But when he talks about him it's "her BOYFRIEND or whatever he is" the jealousy shows more when it's about him and her. But then again he does get upset when kids talk about him too. So maybe. But it is hard in my position. It's like we can't have a conversation about her or him without my so getting upset with me (like I am wrong) he protects bm and blames me and bm's boyfriend. I hate arguing about bm's life. I personally don't care yet I feel that I need to be here to listen for my SO. Does this even make sensse how I wrote it? haha sorry.
Ummm he maybe jealous..It all depends did he tell you why he left her some man think that they can leave a women and think she's not supposed to be with know one else because she got kids by him. And that men maybe be doing something he wasn't doing for her and the kids are they old enough to talk and tell there dad how he is with them?And is he still married to her?
There's another man living in 'his' house, raising his kids...you have trouble understanding why he might be jealous of that? It has nothing to do with his ex-wife or you - he is sad for the loss of the family and the life he thought he was going to live.
This is VERY true. I got with DH at the end of this period, so I was not around to witness and experience a lot of it. But I have heard him say things to this nature. It was hard for him to deal with because he thought he would always be with the woman he had a child with, and he worked his ass off to keep his family in tact. She cheated and he couldn't deal, so he left.
But even though HE left HER, the loss of family and the way you wanted to live your life isn't something you just get over overnight.
Quoting HopesNDreams:There's another man living in 'his' house, raising his kids...you have trouble understanding why he might be jealous of that? It has nothing to do with his ex-wife or you - he is sad for the loss of the family and the life he thought he was going to live.
Quoting thankme:
Ummm he maybe jealous..It all depends did he tell you why he left her some man think that they can leave a women and think she's not supposed to be with know one else because she got kids by him. And that men maybe be doing something he wasn't doing for her and the kids are they old enough to talk and tell there dad how he is with them?And is he still married to her?
Yes the kids are old enough. The bm's boyfriend has lot's of money and buys them lot's of stuff that so can't afford. He also has a wife and the kids are kind of bothered with that because they want him to be with their mom all the time but he can't because he's married. Anyway, no they are not married anymore. They are divorced. I understand what you are saying. Thank you.
Actually it is pretty normal to have a twinge of jealousy over that. It doesnt' mean you want the person back. I think it's just a reminder of your past failure. I wouldn't read too much into it.
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- lildylant
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 6:50 AM