I have a question for BMs? Also sm feel free to get me your opinion too please

[SammysMomma]

Sorry so long please help.

Ok so a lil background. Skids moms have not been in their life. Only when they need something they have stole from skids and treated them like s#it. Been our of their life but phone calls (bm calls) on her bday or mothers day to get skids to say they love them and their the best moms in the world. Blah blah blah. 20g skid mom had her taken away by CPS we had to fight for 6 years to get her. We got her finally in 2005 at 13 years old. The Judge told my exh he couldn't have Her unless we stayed together. (we was together at the time). The boys 16 and 18 were with my exh all their lifes and I came in in 2000. Dad works on crab boats in alaska so hes gone 3 to 4 months and home 2 to 3 months.. Me and bdad divorced in 2010 but I still take care of the kids when he's gone and what not.
So here is my question?

What am I allowed to do and not do in your eyes as a bm??

As SMs what do you think is ok for me to do and not do??

I have problems all the times with their BMs saying I'm doing things wrong. That I'm not a parent to them I'm just a babysitter. I'm "not allowed to punish them" when they do wrong.. Etc etc etc
And it hurts me because they talk bad about me to everyone and to the kids but I'm not allowed to tell them to stop because it's their kids and they can tell them what they want.
Sorry so long.

[SammysMomma]

BUMP!

[SammysMomma]

Anyone please

[whatIknownow]

first, your husband has had children with TWO women who have lost custody to the state due to neglect?

what are the odds of that?

Secondly, their father is out working for 3 - 4 months at a time leaving you to raise his kids that his ex's have lost custody of? Now you are divorced from this man and still taking care of his children?

I'm having trouble understanding the situation. 

[mamajules311]

I'm not understanding either:/

[QueenPebz]

you have a unique situation, since you and the bf are no longer together it kinds is like you are the babysitter, however you have the kids for up to four months. Im sorry im not very helpful, your ex should probably get all the do's and dont's in writing for you. if the kids need the ER, who would bring them? are you legally able to sign for them? if you have paperwork to back you up that would help, then you could just ignore the bm's comments. sorry :-/

[SammysMomma]

I still love the kids as my own. So I take care of them while he is gone. Even when his home they call me. (me and him have a 8 yr old son together). The boys 16 and 18 mom never lost them to the state. She left them with their dad when they was 1 and 3 to go do drugs and be free. So he has always had the boys.
Me and him got a divorce because I couldn't handle the moms being ugly and the oldest child SD was very mean to me because "her mom told her to be" SDs words. She attached Mt 2 times the last time was in dec of 2008 bloody nose and black eyes etc. Then she ran away right after I called the cops to get her and bring her back (she was gonna stay with my bro and sis in law) till her dad got back but the police said since she was 17 they were taking her to jail. I begged them not to but they won't listen ( if I had known that before I called I wouldn't of called them).
The kids would not listen to me at all and nobody would make then their moms would encourage them to not listen to me and tell them since I was just a babysitter they didn't have to.
They listen to me better now then when we was together. And call me for everything.
Does that help any??

Quoting whatIknownow:

first, your husband has had children with TWO women who have lost custody to the state due to neglect?

what are the odds of that?

Secondly, their father is out working for 3 - 4 months at a time leaving you to raise his kids that his ex's have lost custody of? Now you are divorced from this man and still taking care of his children?

I'm having trouble understanding the situation. 

[SammysMomma]

I have full power of attorney over their dad and can do anything I need to with them. I have been then only one on their schools records since 2001. And for everything else. I can do whatever I need.

Quoting QueenPebz:

you have a unique situation, since you and the bf are no longer together it kinds is like you are the babysitter, however you have the kids for up to four months. Im sorry im not very helpful, your ex should probably get all the do's and dont's in writing for you. if the kids need the ER, who would bring them? are you legally able to sign for them? if you have paperwork to back you up that would help, then you could just ignore the bm's comments. sorry :-/

[whatIknownow]

Quoting QueenPebz:

you have a unique situation, since you and the bf are no longer together it kinds is like you are the babysitter, however you have the kids for up to four months. Im sorry im not very helpful, your ex should probably get all the do's and dont's in writing for you. if the kids need the ER, who would bring them? are you legally able to sign for them? if you have paperwork to back you up that would help, then you could just ignore the bm's comments. sorry :-/

I have to go along with this.

It's impossible for us regular BMs to tell you what you should be allowed to do.

its' just too unusual a situation. I've never heard of anything like that before.

[whatIknownow]

You have power of attorney "over" their dad? what does that mean? 

Quoting SammysMomma:

I have full power of attorney over their dad and can do anything I need to with them. I have been then only one on their schools records since 2001. And for everything else. I can do whatever I need.

Quoting QueenPebz:

you have a unique situation, since you and the bf are no longer together it kinds is like you are the babysitter, however you have the kids for up to four months. Im sorry im not very helpful, your ex should probably get all the do's and dont's in writing for you. if the kids need the ER, who would bring them? are you legally able to sign for them? if you have paperwork to back you up that would help, then you could just ignore the bm's comments. sorry :-/

[SammysMomma]

I have been always called the babysitter. Since 2000. We was marred in 2001.

Quoting QueenPebz:

you have a unique situation, since you and the bf are no longer together it kinds is like you are the babysitter, however you have the kids for up to four months. Im sorry im not very helpful, your ex should probably get all the do's and dont's in writing for you. if the kids need the ER, who would bring them? are you legally able to sign for them? if you have paperwork to back you up that would help, then you could just ignore the bm's comments. sorry :-/