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bm's boyfriend spanked so's son!

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:47 PM
  • 34 Replies
What are your thoughts? My so is livid! I know for me if my so spanked my kids he would be out the door. But 4 year old said a swear word and the mom said to her boyfriend "spank him!" What?! Is this okay to any of you ladies?
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by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stephadams1107
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:54 PM
I don't spank often but have in the past. My SO has spanked my son. No problem here. He is around my son more than his dad, so that is how it works. Also if my sons SM felt my son needed a spanking then I would have no problem with it. She is a parent too. And in no way would I want my son to walk all over her because he knew she couldn't spank him. A boyfriend however I think is a whole different story.
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stephadams1107
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:00 PM
Let me also add that I think that it has to be an agreement among parents. All 3 sets of parents in our situation has had a discussion about what discipline is appropriate. If your husband did not give the boyfriend permission to disipline than no it's not ok
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lildylant
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Not to mention my so is around the kids 50% of the time and her boyfriend isn't there everyday. They don't live together. I don't spank but repect everyones choices but yes I think bm and boyfriend are wrong here :(


Quoting stephadams1107:

I don't spank often but have in the past. My SO has spanked my son. No problem here. He is around my son more than his dad, so that is how it works. Also if my sons SM felt my son needed a spanking then I would have no problem with it. She is a parent too. And in no way would I want my son to walk all over her because he knew she couldn't spank him. A boyfriend however I think is a whole different story.

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lilangilyn
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:03 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't like the idea of anybody but bio parents spanking any child. Ugh.

lildylant
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:04 PM
My so and bm had the discussion that only the 2 of them would disipline their children I can't and her boyfriend can't funny because she is the one that brought that into mediation! And as I said I personally don't believe in spanking =)


Quoting stephadams1107:

Let me also add that I think that it has to be an agreement among parents. All 3 sets of parents in our situation has had a discussion about what discipline is appropriate. If your husband did not give the boyfriend permission to disipline than no it's not ok

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paladinmom
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:17 PM

#1:  Why is the 4 yo is swearing?

#2:  If it has been agreed upon that SOs aren't to physically discipline a child, and the SO has been told by mediator/judge not to do so, then that person can be held in contempt for blatently disregarding a CO.  

Personal thoughts on this... I do not physically discipline my SKs.  Neither does my DH or BM.  We give them a warning and then they get time out or loss of privileges for the night - it just depends on the age group or type of misbehavior.  

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:21 PM
My personal opinion is no,parents that have both parents fully
Involved ahold never allow steps to do this or even disipline. This is my Stich and it works well enoug for us. I get mad at my skids but they wouldn't know it. It's my dh's and bm's probelm when my
Skids act up.I have to let them be the displinarians.

I'd be posse if my dd's bf,SO spanked my dd's. Bc he only gets them a couple of times a year,his choice and I don't think ts his or her place to spank them. IMO.
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:31 PM

that's not good.

Actually my DH has been through this.

When SD that is now 19 was like 9, she went to BMs for the weekend (and that didn't happen very often). She came home and told DH that BMs boyfriend at the time spanked her.

DH went to her house, walked in the door and used his arm to choke the guy against the wall. All while BM was hitting DH. 

I was not with DH at the time, but I would have loved to see that. 

BTW....SD remembers.

lildylant
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:33 PM
He is 4 and testing the water. He said ass. I am sorry but he isn't the only 4 year old to cuss. I really don't see this as ground for someone to spank him especially moms boyfriend.
How do we go about the law part? Get an attorney or call the one who did the divorce? And then what do we do?


Quoting paladinmom:

#1:  Why is the 4 yo is swearing?

#2:  If it has been agreed upon that SOs aren't to physically discipline a child, and the SO has been told by mediator/judge not to do so, then that person can be held in contempt for blatently disregarding a CO.  

Personal thoughts on this... I do not physically discipline my SKs.  Neither does my DH or BM.  We give them a warning and then they get time out or loss of privileges for the night - it just depends on the age group or type of misbehavior.  


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lildylant
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:34 PM
Then what happened? Did dh get in trouble?


Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

that's not good.

Actually my DH has been through this.

When SD that is now 19 was like 9, she went to BMs for the weekend (and that didn't happen very often). She came home and told DH that BMs boyfriend at the time spanked her.

DH went to her house, walked in the door and used his arm to choke the guy against the wall. All while BM was hitting DH. 

I was not with DH at the time, but I would have loved to see that. 

BTW....SD remembers.


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