Stepmom's Bill of Rights

[neverbeamom]

Our marriage (relationship) is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.

People outside of the immediate family- including ex's, in-laws, and adult children cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits to.

I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit, and how long they will stay.

I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distriubted fairly.

I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.

Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

I will never be treated as an outsider in my own home.

My partner and stepkids must treat me with respect.

Found this- what do you think?

[leegirl_jm]

I think everyone is familiar with this one, it is pure common sense.

[Ms.Gwen]

It's been posted here before. I agree with it, but I wouldn't have married a man that didn't respect me this way in the first place. No need to post this in my house.

[jessiesluv]

 This has been debated several times in here if Im not mistaken. But it may take off into one. lol

[neverbeamom]

I didn't know it had been. Sorry for re-posting.

[Lasttime]

I haven't seen it before so it's new to me.  There are people in here that are fairly new or that don't come into the group often so we might not have seen it so thank you for posting.

I agree with it though...step mom is the WIFE and it is also HER HOUSE, therefore...a husband and wife should always work as a team and every woman should have say in her home about house rules, finances, etc.  A lot of times some people like to make this into a "controlling the dad" issue instead of what it really is.  And they make it into a "the kids were here first" issue also.  If dad made step mom his wife...she matters, HER OPINION matters, she is an equal partner with him.  It is her house also.

Quoting neverbeamom:

I didn't know it had been. Sorry for re-posting.

[neverbeamom]

It should apply to long-term relationships as well if they are residing together. Just putting it in there. ;)

Quoting Lasttime:

I haven't seen it before so it's new to me.  There are people in here that are fairly new or that don't come into the group often so we might not have seen it so thank you for posting.

I agree with it though...step mom is the WIFE and it is also HER HOUSE, therefore...a husband and wife should always work as a team and every woman should have say in her home about house rules, finances, etc.  A lot of times some people like to make this into a "controlling the dad" issue instead of what it really is.  And they make it into a "the kids were here first" issue also.  If dad made step mom his wife...she matters, HER OPINION matters, she is an equal partner with him.  It is her house also.

Quoting neverbeamom:

I didn't know it had been. Sorry for re-posting.

[natacha78]

I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits to.

I like this one the best..... If

[neverbeamom]

Yeah that one really stuck out to me, too. Sometimes I feel like because I decided to be with a man who had a child, I'm automatically supposed to be responsible for what he does and how he feels- but a lot of moms feel SMs shouldn't have any say when it comes to anything else, and let DH handle it.

Quoting natacha78:

I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits to.



I like this one the best..... If

[lilangilyn]

I saw this in another group when I first came to cafemom. I showed it to my DH and we decided that both of us would live by these rules. In other words, as a stepfather he has the same rights.

Since DH had been single longer than me, it was a little harder for him to do some of the things. He was not used to consulting anyone about financial matters and the part about the plan making was difficult as well.

I like the part about which children can live with, visit etc. For instance I fully expect SS to ask to live with us at some point after his graduation. I would hope that DH gets me on board and not just automatically say yes.

[whatIknownow]

I've seen it before. I think it is simplistic, and I don't agree with many of the points.