Here's my rant after reading several posts today will the same main complaint. Why do our DHs think its our job to step up and be their childrens mom? I don't have a problem with treating sd as my own, dont get me wrong. I'm discovering that many of us are in similar situations though. Dhs think they can just sit back while we parent their kids completely. I did all the cares for sd, when I tried to disengage I am a bad person for "leaving sd out". Our dhs made these kids, they need a little responsibility right?! AND our other thing we have in common, GOD FORBID THESE DHS PUNISH THEIR OWN KIDS. Then people tell me I'm horrible because I say I can't handle sd's behavior and I'm a bad mom......wth??????!! I'm really tired of being "the evil step mom". YES i did marry into the situation. BUT since when does that mean I'm a bad person because I can't handle bad behavior? AND im REALLY tired of people attacking us and saying they feel bad for our skids. Yeah its too bad the kids have to adjust, but most of these kids end up getting spoiled because everyone feels sorry for them. That is way more damaging to their mental health!! Lets not teach these kids that everyone should feel sorry for them therefore everything should be handed to them. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I am so sick and tired of being accused of being the evil one.