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Adult SD suicide rollercoaster

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:02 AM
  • 15 Replies


The back story would take me 6 hours to type and you'd be bored to tears but I really am at a loss here.  My adult SD claims she has attempted suicide three times this year.  Once, she puctured herself multiple times with a cork screw and was admitted to a hospital and then a "facility".  Came out, didn't go to counciling.  

Next time, she was driving (and intoxicated), wrecked my car that I had given to her younger brother because I needed a truck anyway.  Went into a hospital, got out, was given a break and still able to drive?!

Time number three she was also drinking and smashed the car that she purchased (gee, glad I didn't let her borrow any money like she had asked as if she didn't just wrecked my car a month before) to get to her new job.

Now, I don't live in the same state but I am sure these events happened, I'm just not really sure she is "attempting suicide".  

In a nut shell, she seems to be on a roller coaster of "I've got this life thing handled" to "I'm trying to kill myself" over and over again.  

She tried rehab about  a year ago but left b/c "It wasn't for her."   Honestly, although she has a pill/alcohol problem, I think she has much more of an emotional problem that she feeds with the pill/alchohol deal.  

Additionally, I am no shrink but I think she really struggles with her identity.  Anything that is important to anyone else is a threat to her?  Any hobby I pick up gets met with critisism.  She copies things I or other people do that make them happy? 

Anyone have any thoughts on this or dealt with anything similar?  I really don't know how to handle it.

I have just kind of distanced myself from her.  She seems to want sympathy for this last "suicide attempt" and I'm not delivering.  I'm actually holding her responsible for the safety of herself and other innocent people she is sharing the road with.  She has a child who is thankfully in another state with her father.  My husband is currently deployed and although I try to keep him out of the loop, a lot of times I can't.  (Mother in Law, Ex,  Facebook, etc.)

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
makewayforducks
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:44 AM

Wow, sorry you're going through all this. You certainly have your plate full! I don't have any experience with adult step children, but it sounds like she has some mental health issues that should be addressed. How old is she? Does she live with you? How does your DH feel about all this?

DF's coparent does/has done a lot of those things and she is diagnosed bipolar. Very tricky to navigate. As much as she needs counseling, it might be good for you to see someone as well to have a neutral person to talk to and a gain some perspective from. Good luck *hugs*

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:53 AM
First I am sorry this is tough! She sounds like she is either an adult now or close to 18... That being the case there isn't much you probably can do for her at this point...I know you said dh is deployed but where is her bm? Perhaps you could talk to bm about what is going on?
CTchic
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:53 AM

Thank you.  She is in her mid twenties.  She doesn't live with me, we are nearly a country apart. ;)  My husband kind of feels like giving up.  *sigh*  I kind of do to, but I hope that she can be "fixed".  I just don't know how to carry on a relationship with someone who is behaving this way.  Although I realize this is not about me and thank goodness I'm not in her shoes, I am kinda angry about this and I don't know where to put it.  

CTchic
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:55 AM

Her BM is in the same town and doing the best she can, I am sure.  Their relationship is strained also.  

paladinmom
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:26 AM

Borderline Personality Disorder with serious depression?  

That is the first thing that I comes to mind.  If she's done this three times and been inpatient for each time, perhaps she needs a longer stay with extensive treatment, therapy and evaluations that take awhile - not just a quick eval... kwim?

If BM is trying to help, and you n Dad are extremely concerned, I think that you should do an intervention explaining this to SD and then all three of you (and if there is a SF involved) take her to a facility.  State that she is medically incompetent to make her own choices and that she needs a lot of assistance.

paladinmom
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:27 AM

Also, if she didn't continue outpatient therapy, then it should be stated as a condition of her release that if she misses more than two appointments, she is to be re-admitted immediately.

paladinmom
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:28 AM

I overlooked the part where you and DH are in another state.  Can you afford to fly out and do the intervention and assist with another admission???  Sorry!

Quoting CTchic:

Her BM is in the same town and doing the best she can, I am sure.  Their relationship is strained also.  


CTchic
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:43 AM

Thank you for your response.  My husband is actually deployed right now.  I can financially fly out but I have horses and I really don't like leaving my father with them.  He's not a "horse person".   She has been on depression meds but she abuses them so as I understand it, she isn't on anything right now.  Can the court make rehab manditory?  I don't know legally what will happen with this last accident.  She was found to be over the limit.

Chrismomto5
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:23 AM

From what I know about suicide and depression, those who are actually suicidal (and not using it for attention) don't tell people when they attempt suicide and fail.  They are ashamed, and feel the world would be better without them.  They keep their pain hidden and don't run around telling people about their attempts (except maybe one or two people.)  

CTchic
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:27 AM

I was kind of thinking that too, Chrismomto5.  I am also not sure that flying out/ intervention is a good idea for that very reason.  If it's attention seeking behavior, I certainly don't want to fuel it.

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