My husband has 2 daughters who are now 13 and 15. The 15yo has taken to me from day one. She is very easy to handle and now lives with us. The 13yo has despised me from day one. She's very outspoken and has never had a rule to follow. She lives with her mother. SD13 has always, very bluntly, said how much she hates me and how she blames me for her mother and father not getting back together....granted I came into their lives after her parents were divorced. I've always enjoyed getting the girls gifts for holidays and birthdays. I've always supported my husband in his decisions to take the girls out for fun. NEVER have I received a thank you for the gifts or fun for SD13. I've even found many of our gifts for her in the trash or destroyed. This is hurtful. SD13 always feels entitled and expects us to buy her whatever she wants. She is very materialistic and always about money. SD13 is beyond disrespectful to me and my DH has tried to correct her, but with such distance between us, it's hard to stay consistent.
My point of this post is that I constantly feel hatred and irritation toward SD13 now. Anytime her name is brought up I get irritated, especially if it is her demanding something from us. Even when she decides to be nice and respectful, I can't stand her, because it is usually followed by her demands. I hate having this horrible feeling about her, but I'm always proven right. I constantly think about the horrible things she's said about me. I think about all the times she treated me like crap and is so ungrateful for all the things her father and I have done for her. She treats my DH horribly too, and it drives me crazy. I try to talk to DH about my feelings, but he just gets defensive and doesn't understand because it's his daughter who can do no wrong...He still has guilt for not see her as much even though it was BM that moved across the country. SD13 has caused so many fights between DH and I too, causing even more resentment from me. I genuinely do care for SD13 and want the best for her, but I just can't get rid of this constant irritation and resentment towards her.