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if you don't want a SM who pushes herself into situations she doesn't need to be, you must be bitter.

If you don't want to let SM take visitation instead of the dad... you must be bitter.  Or controlling.  Probably both.

If you don't cut your ex some slack on helping out with the kids he helped make because he has a new family going on... you must be bitter.

If you don't care about SM's kids enough to cut dad the financial slack he needs to better take care of those kids... you must be bitter. 

If you say you hope the kids your ex's wife has are doing well... you must be bitter. 

If you can't figure out when you're supposed to care about the kids vs. when you're not... you must be stupid.

If you feel the parents can communicate and don't want to talk to SM... you must be bitter.  And want your ex back.

If you take care of your kids and have custody of them and there is no room for SM to "step in" ... you must be bitter and territorial.

If you dont' understand that "the more people that love your kid" actually translates to mom doesn't care enough about her kids to let me do x, y, or z... again, you're just too stupid to actually have kids since you obviously don't know what is best for them.

If your idea of "kids best interest" doesn't match up to SM's and you do what you feel is best without regard for what SM thinks is... you must be bitter. 

Forget the fact that dad was probably okay with the way things were going until he had a wife to point out the error of mom's way to him, forget the fact that in most cases it is a SM who is married to the NCP who has most of these complaints, and forget the fact that kids are actually doing well without you changing things up so that new girl can feel important... cause if you don't forget all that?  You must be bitter.

by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
atownrb
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 2:54 PM
10 moms liked this

 OMG! You seriously are not an SM?? So I've been replying to someone who has absolutely NO idea what they are talking about since you're not an SM and until you've been in those shoes you are clueless! WOW!! Well it at least I know why you are so negative, you've only been on one side of the issue.

r_h_stepmom
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 2:58 PM

So, just because there are a few stepMOM-wannabe's out there... that gives YOU the right to treat ALL Stepmom's with disrespect? I think you are doing a little too much ASSuming. Not all Stepmoms who have something negative to say about their BM's are the "weekend moms" that you are making all of us out to be. Get to know the situations more before judging a fellow mom! 

Quoting packermomof2:


Quoting thatislife:

She's just baiting you sm's...

Nah... I just made a post that paraphrased what some SM's, normally of the NCP variety, like to say to moms when moms explain why they feel the NCP SM doesn't need to do something.  I wrote a post based on what has been said a lot lately... doesn't apply to you?  Don't answer.  Don't want to answer?  Don't.  I really don't care. 



GypsyRayne
by Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 2:58 PM
5 moms liked this

You seem to be very bitter.

gr8d8n3mom
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:01 PM


Quoting packermomof2:


Quoting gr8d8n3mom:

This is the most ridiculous thing I have read on here yet.

I feel that way about many of the new posts that are written... mom won't care that dad has kids to support... mom said the clothes from last year are too small and won't give them to us, mom won't talk to me... those are not exactly enlightening ... they don't even border on ridiculous.  They just are in a few of the cases.

PPL need to just let things go... Like other posters said, some SM have to step in, take it or leave it. BUT jeeze,  this isn't high school folks.


planning a wedding


ariesp19
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:10 PM
2 moms liked this

 i dont get why yourn on a STEP MOM SIGTH....... ive read so many of your responses,posts, and honestly, YOU do sound bitter.... resentfull... sometimes even hatefull.... YOU..... not every bm out there, not every step mom out there..... i personally dont lump everyone into one group, my step mom was a crappy one, but ive met greta ones..... my bm wasnt the best either, but ive met great ones... i also base my replys on the post im currently reading, not say 'well, we only know your side, she could be like 'me'....'.... oh, ya, i know you dont use those words, but you may as well, thats how it reads..... you assume the op lies, and that bm is golden...  i dont see why your on a step mom group..... there are many bms groups were im sure many would agree with you

or is it about a way to shove it to step moms? being in 'their' group, their safe place to vent, post, look for advice...... and then tell them how awful they are for feeling how they feel, or for having minds of their own and ideas of their owns....

now, i will agree that it seems most the time the WOMEN(bm and sm)care much more about many things then the fathers do.... men... they usually just care that the kids are taken care of, and happy..... women, care about all the pesky details... women are home bodies, maternal, were the ones who run the house and we think about all the tiny details that dont always mater..... rarly do as long as the kids are healthy, happy and being taken care of

jessiesluv
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM
4 moms liked this

Wow packer. Doesn't seem you are getting the response you wanted. Where's your back up posse? Why haven't you responded to these ladies? Just curious.

GlockMom
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:17 PM
3 moms liked this
Packer has some very valid points. I agree that a lot of the posts coming from here have been whining about the very things she is listing.

I mean seriously, how many moms do you really think think about how paying CS keeps BF from doing for his new family? NONE. Thats what I think. Why would she care about what someone else's kids have when she is worried about her own? What about mom being bitter because SM expects her to not excercise her ROFR because SM feels like she should be able to stand in when BF can't be there? Mom wants the time dad isn't taking to parent her kids, not because she hates SM, but because why should a nonparent have the kid when a parent IS available.

It has been rather ridiculous lately ladies.
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atownrb
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this

 I agree that it's not BM's responsibility to care about BF providing for his new family because of CS. However, is it right that a child sees dad struggling and stressed because BM keeps asking for more and more money. Is it right that BF can't better his own life at all, while BM just keeps bettering hers because of that fact that every time he gets promoted or a raise or a better job, he doesn't reap the benefit from it because BM wants more money and all the while she isn't doing anything to better her life on her own? An in some cases she even makes more money than BF. This is not always the case but it does happen and I think that maybe sometimes BM's and BF's should be more respectful of the fact that the other is the parent of thier children and if the BF is an involved, providing, loving father then why is BM constantly making him miserable and making him unable to have a good life as well?

Quoting GlockMom:

Packer has some very valid points. I agree that a lot of the posts coming from here have been whining about the very things she is listing.

I mean seriously, how many moms do you really think think about how paying CS keeps BF from doing for his new family? NONE. Thats what I think. Why would she care about what someone else's kids have when she is worried about her own? What about mom being bitter because SM expects her to not excercise her ROFR because SM feels like she should be able to stand in when BF can't be there? Mom wants the time dad isn't taking to parent her kids, not because she hates SM, but because why should a nonparent have the kid when a parent IS available.

It has been rather ridiculous lately ladies.

 

r_h_stepmom
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:30 PM
4 moms liked this

Yes, some of us SM's do get whiney. But some of us do the job of both parents all the time and get none of the respect for it. Why shouldn't we be able to complain? Is this a group for SM's to go to get criticized further for everything they try to do? Some BM's are complete assholes and don't want to lift a finger for their kids until they know someone else is. Why are we not allowed to complain about that in a group made for STEPMOMS?!?!  

Quoting GlockMom:

Packer has some very valid points. I agree that a lot of the posts coming from here have been whining about the very things she is listing.

I mean seriously, how many moms do you really think think about how paying CS keeps BF from doing for his new family? NONE. Thats what I think. Why would she care about what someone else's kids have when she is worried about her own? What about mom being bitter because SM expects her to not excercise her ROFR because SM feels like she should be able to stand in when BF can't be there? Mom wants the time dad isn't taking to parent her kids, not because she hates SM, but because why should a nonparent have the kid when a parent IS available.

It has been rather ridiculous lately ladies.


Amy1973Potts
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Please tell me this was not partially aimed at me.

Although I do agree that the "more people to love your kids" theory is an attempt at rationalizing massive butting in of a non parent. I dont think the whole village (or planet) has a right or a responsibility to love your child: they have family (whatever flavor/combination it may be) and people who trumpet this to the masses seem to have coveting
issues, but certainly not all of them
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