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if you don't want a SM who pushes herself into situations she doesn't need to be, you must be bitter.

If you don't want to let SM take visitation instead of the dad... you must be bitter.  Or controlling.  Probably both.

If you don't cut your ex some slack on helping out with the kids he helped make because he has a new family going on... you must be bitter.

If you don't care about SM's kids enough to cut dad the financial slack he needs to better take care of those kids... you must be bitter. 

If you say you hope the kids your ex's wife has are doing well... you must be bitter. 

If you can't figure out when you're supposed to care about the kids vs. when you're not... you must be stupid.

If you feel the parents can communicate and don't want to talk to SM... you must be bitter.  And want your ex back.

If you take care of your kids and have custody of them and there is no room for SM to "step in" ... you must be bitter and territorial.

If you dont' understand that "the more people that love your kid" actually translates to mom doesn't care enough about her kids to let me do x, y, or z... again, you're just too stupid to actually have kids since you obviously don't know what is best for them.

If your idea of "kids best interest" doesn't match up to SM's and you do what you feel is best without regard for what SM thinks is... you must be bitter. 

Forget the fact that dad was probably okay with the way things were going until he had a wife to point out the error of mom's way to him, forget the fact that in most cases it is a SM who is married to the NCP who has most of these complaints, and forget the fact that kids are actually doing well without you changing things up so that new girl can feel important... cause if you don't forget all that?  You must be bitter.

by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (31-40):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:42 PM
4 moms liked this

I personally don't have the experience of being a BM with an overstepping SM, as my kids' SM has never even come close to overstepping.

But, I do read a lot of stories here, by SMs who are clearly overstepping, and when these SMs complain about BM's  objections to their behavior, they often say BM must just be bitter. They never see that what they are doing (the overstepping) is just plain wrong.

So I think that is what this post is about. Obviously if you (general you) are not one of these overstepping SMs then this doesn't apply to you. 

2bkayleesmommy
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:49 PM
11 moms liked this
Y are there bm's in this group? Some of u ladies ask.. Answer, so they can be bitter and take their anger out on other sm.

Do we sm whine sometimes? Hmm.. Maybe vent is a better word to describe our emotional posts! We came here to a group of fellow sm's to vent and have support from people understanding us. And maybe guinding us to view the situation better from their experience! Not to be bashed my a bm beacuse she throws her situation into the answer.

Am I a bm? Yes! Am a sm? Yes! I'm both and value my opinion cuz I'm on both sides of grass..and neaither side is greener!! But it can be the same color green if u have respect/communication and r not so damn greedy!

You opened ur legs u took 100% responsability to knowing no protection, u can have a baby! So don't make another persons life hell!! You were married? Had a wonderful life? Shopped @ fancy childerns place with a 2income household? Then u left him or he left u? Guess what?! It's now a 1house income!! Get over it! Need more $$ go get a better job! (Apply this if he has 50/50) if u have the kids more, okay he should pay! But don't rape him in c/s..

Ya ya ya, u HAD a lifestyle.. Guess what, u don't anymore! Shut up! Fix it urself! Stop being soo damn bitter!! Or jealous that ur ex is now living ur dream w/another women. Not her fault! Unless she was "the other women" but eventhen, ur ex decided to do what he did.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense.. Mobile and just typing away while watching 3kids (1 being my step daughter)
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2bkayleesmommy
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Agree with darrensmom! I don't make my ex pay c/s cuz I too care about his new family. Before I went on maternity leave I made more. He didn't ask for help. Now that I'm on leave I don't ask for help. But we both know if we truly needed something for our child we'd help. (Ie, I get wic.. I send milk/ceral/cheese to his house, y should he pay for it if I get more then enough for free? He bought her rain boots.. When it's raining he brings them to me so I don't have to buy another pair, she already has some!)


Quoting darrensmom11:

I agree. I don't really like to think of it too much of it as COMPLAINING though. :) I like to think of it as coming to this group to express my feelings/frustrations w/people I Can relate to. It sucks though when someone who is suppose to be your FELLOW STEP MOMMA ends up talking smack and makes you feel even worse about the situation. I'm so blessed that my x and I Have never hurt Eachother financially like that. When I left him, I didn't make him pay CS cuz I made more money. Then when my Son went to live with him, He returned the same favor. Although He doesn't make me pay CS, I buy my Son everything He needs. We care about Eachothers new families. But I think its sad for x couples out to lash one another. But what else Can you do?. . . Adjust your lifestyle.




Quoting r_h_stepmom:

Yes, some of us SM's do get whiney. But some of us do the job of both parents all the time and get none of the respect for it. Why shouldn't we be able to complain? Is this a group for SM's to go to get criticized further for everything they try to do? Some BM's are complete assholes and don't want to lift a finger for their kids until they know someone else is. Why are we not allowed to complain about that in a group made for STEPMOMS?!?!  



Quoting GlockMom:

Packer has some very valid points. I agree that a lot of the posts coming from here have been whining about the very things she is listing.

I mean seriously, how many moms do you really think think about how paying CS keeps BF from doing for his new family? NONE. Thats what I think. Why would she care about what someone else's kids have when she is worried about her own? What about mom being bitter because SM expects her to not excercise her ROFR because SM feels like she should be able to stand in when BF can't be there? Mom wants the time dad isn't taking to parent her kids, not because she hates SM, but because why should a nonparent have the kid when a parent IS available.

It has been rather ridiculous lately ladies.




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LivnSimply
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:06 PM


Quoting newwife1:

I agree BM shouldn't care about DH and his new family.

.... just as SM doesn't have to care about BMs POV or family.

Just like as JUST the SM, I don't help with CS. If DH runs short and can't pay CS it's not my problem and it doesn't get paid on time. If BM has to struggle, it's not my problem or responsibility. I don't have kids to support:)

Works both ways.

 

Can I add?


 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this
If you make posts about bitterness you must be bitter.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jennisess
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:19 PM

What she said!!!! 

Quoting 2bkayleesmommy:



You opened ur legs u took 100% responsability to knowing no protection, u can have a baby! So don't make another persons life hell!! You were married? Had a wonderful life? Shopped @ fancy childerns place with a 2income household? Then u left him or he left u? Guess what?! It's now a 1house income!! Get over it! Need more $$ go get a better job! (Apply this if he has 50/50) if u have the kids more, okay he should pay! But don't rape him in c/s..

Ya ya ya, u HAD a lifestyle.. Guess what, u don't anymore! Shut up! Fix it urself! Stop being soo damn bitter!! Or jealous that ur ex is now living ur dream w/another women. Not her fault! Unless she was "the other women" but eventhen, ur ex decided to do what he did.



katcb1019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:20 PM


Quoting 2bkayleesmommy:

Y are there bm's in this group? Some of u ladies ask.. Answer, so they can be bitter and take their anger out on other sm.

Do we sm whine sometimes? Hmm.. Maybe vent is a better word to describe our emotional posts! We came here to a group of fellow sm's to vent and have support from people understanding us. And maybe guinding us to view the situation better from their experience! Not to be bashed my a bm beacuse she throws her situation into the answer.

Am I a bm? Yes! Am a sm? Yes! I'm both and value my opinion cuz I'm on both sides of grass..and neaither side is greener!! But it can be the same color green if u have respect/communication and r not so damn greedy!

You opened ur legs u took 100% responsability to knowing no protection, u can have a baby! So don't make another persons life hell!! You were married? Had a wonderful life? Shopped @ fancy childerns place with a 2income household? Then u left him or he left u? Guess what?! It's now a 1house income!! Get over it! Need more $$ go get a better job! (Apply this if he has 50/50) if u have the kids more, okay he should pay! But don't rape him in c/s..

Ya ya ya, u HAD a lifestyle.. Guess what, u don't anymore! Shut up! Fix it urself! Stop being soo damn bitter!! Or jealous that ur ex is now living ur dream w/another women. Not her fault! Unless she was "the other women" but eventhen, ur ex decided to do what he did.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense.. Mobile and just typing away while watching 3kids (1 being my step daughter)

I think your lumping bms all together. A lot of sms think bm is out to get them and thats just not the case. Anyway, when it comes to cs both parents need to support the child no matter what. The court mandates the number not the bm. The courts will not make a person pay more than they can afford. Its done by a percentage.

I think alot of sms are bitter cause there is a bm to deal with.

 

 


 

katcb1019

kargirl42
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:22 PM
5 moms liked this
Incredibly stupid indeed...bms should be grateful they have another person who cares about the children...and looks after them and prrotects them...
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ShannaBee
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:23 PM
4 moms liked this

I think dwelling on who is bitter, and which party (SM or BM) is more evil is a consumable waste of time. I think people need to get over it. I understand both sides, both have good points. I think the biggest problem between the situations is lack of communication. Each side gets their feelings hurt so easily.

thatislife
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:23 PM

OMG, I came to check out the feeding frenzy and found this!  This is hilarious, can I just copy and paste this on every single entitled bm thread I find?  Brilliant!! 

"You opened ur legs u took 100% responsability to knowing no protection, u can have a baby! So don't make another persons life hell!! You were married? Had a wonderful life? Shopped @ fancy childerns place with a 2income household? Then u left him or he left u? Guess what?! It's now a 1house income!! Get over it! Need more $$ go get a better job! (Apply this if he has 50/50) if u have the kids more, okay he should pay! But don't rape him in c/s..

Ya ya ya, u HAD a lifestyle.. Guess what, u don't anymore! Shut up! Fix it urself! Stop being soo damn bitter!! Or jealous that ur ex is now living ur dream w/another women. Not her fault! Unless she was "the other women" but eventhen, ur ex decided to do what he did". -2bkayleesmom

 

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