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How many stepmoms feel like a......

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 11:49 PM
  • 43 Replies
1 mom liked this
Maid?
Checkbook?
Chauffeur ?
Personal chef?
Referee?
Personal assistant?

Not because of their husbands- but due to the bm in their life? How many if us go into our marriages being the first one that is called about everything- until something happens -(possibly a kid feels maternal love)- and bm freaks out and suddenly has a problem with sm. This also seems to happen a lot around the time sm and daddy have their own baby I have noticed. Anyway usually at this point bm decides dad should be doiing more- and it doesn't matter what it is that she expects if dad doesn't do exactly as bm asks then he is labeled a horrible father who puts his "other" family first. I know I have lived this story- and have read different variations of it on here a million times. Anyone else experience this ?
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 11:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jenessamarie
by The follower :) on Mar. 25, 2012 at 11:54 PM
5 moms liked this
I notice "rockstar" isn't on your list :(
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mytinydancer
by Member on Mar. 26, 2012 at 12:25 AM
All the time, you so hit the nail on the head. The bm in my life always tries to put a guilt trip on dh and then she feeds the skids tons of bs about how dad can't this or that because of his " other" family. Oh but she when she needs something who does she call...my dh. Ugh, she makes me wanna puke. When dh and I decided to have a child together bm went and filed support papers but ended up with nothing since both dh and her have kids 50/50.

looneytunes290
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 12:26 AM

BUMP!

LucyHarper
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 1:23 AM

Well that sort of just describes what its like to be a parent, and when you marry someone with children, their responsibilities are shared with you.

neverbeamom
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 2:40 AM

When we moved into our new place, BM got a little bitchy with SO about stuff.  She said we fed SS junk food and things with soy in them, and that SO wasn't doing his job as a dad to make sure he was being taken care of.

BS.

I've done nothing but adhere strictly to SS's diet because she made it sound like life or death.  If SO fed him something with soy in it, it was usually one of the last ingredients and according to BM, it can't be listed in the first 4 ingredients.

She said we sent him home in dirty clothes.  We never had a washer and dryer at our old place, and she never bitched when we notified her we didn't do laundry once in a while.  Suddenly because we had a nice place she wanted extra shit done.

SO and I won't have any children together, so she'll never have to worry about SO putting his "new" family first.  If and when we ever get married, things will remain as they are.  

Besides that, BM can't run our household.  WE are the adults in our home, she is not.  I would let that shit slide right off my back.

supermomma21
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 3:39 AM
5 moms liked this

Not me.

BM can have whatever complaints and problems she wants, and I dont give a flip.

SO and I do things in our house our way, with both of OUR kids, bio and step.  BM has no voice in my home.

lilangilyn
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:13 AM

As a bio mom I was all those things. With SS, less. What I did feel was a horrible weight of responsibility for a child that wasn't mine, that I couldn't help, and that I saw as suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally day after day.

But that responsibility was thankfully lifted by DH in 2009 and I have kept it off. Thank goodness.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:47 AM
2 moms liked this

I feel like a maid, checkbook, chauffeur... etc. with my stepkids just the same as I do wtih my biokids. It comes wtih the territory of being a parent.  I wouldnt have it any other way.

It's certainly not because of BM. All of it is my own choice. It is always the SM's choice. She can't blame anyone else, if she takes these tasks on. Because she can always stop doing them at any time if she decides she doesnt' like doing them.


atownrb
by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this
This!!!!

Quoting supermomma21:

Not me.


BM can have whatever complaints and problems she wants, and I dont give a flip.


SO and I do things in our house our way, with both of OUR kids, bio and step.  BM has no voice in my home.

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newwife1
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2012 at 8:02 AM
2 moms liked this

Not me. Not at all.

I have zero responsibility and don't want any. I don't even know where his school is, have never done a pick up or drop off. Couldn't tell you the name of his doctor, nor do I care to know.

He has 2 capable parents that handle everything. I am not needed and I don't want to be needed. I'm about as hands off as a SM can get:)

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