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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

OK I have to make this quick as I am called in today to help because someone called off, and last night my SS came home from his SM house and he was acting kinda funny, mind you the night before was a major breakthrough, on the way to bed his brother and he had both come from behind me on the couch and said good night and leaned in and kissed my cheek?!!!???? I was in utter disbelief as was their dad, major MOM POINTS!!!! but they have had their mom yell and scream at me that they are not allowed to call me mom, and she just freaks them out at first I told her not try to contorl or dictate my household or what we do or say in our home, then i decided to just sit back watch and see what happens she signed over her custody so she only sees them 8 days a month and only gets them for spring break and for 6-8 weeks in the summer, and that all the papers say we allow her to have them every tuesday and every other weekend, and she makes the rest of the days that they are with us a month crazy cuz she is such a cunt the rest of the 8 times!!!! Ne way my SS and i and his brother were on the porch one night during spring break in which she cancled her visitation, and he looked at me and said I really want to call you mom but im not supposed to ( I bit my tounge...tasted blood, quietly listened) and he said but I want to call you something and I just dont know what i said well we discussed E-Mom(Earthmom) and he said but it has the word mom in it, ai said ok look just call me Tara or whatever you feel comfortable with as long as not a bad word lol, and we all laughed and he said NO I want to call you something I want it to be special and as he looked at the sky at this point he had jumped up and was pacing the sidewalk, and he shot a look at me of discovery and said STAR!!!! I LOVE STARS AND I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO CALL YOU STAR, is that ok? I held back tears and said yeah sure buddy, its perfect, and so during spring break his mother called and she was talking to him he was kind of not paying attention to her and was talking to me calling me star and i heard her say his name LOUD and said Who IS STAR? HE SAID  Tara and she said OH why you call her that? all snotty, and he said Cause I want to, and then he said well did you want to talk to any of the parents? and got off the phone with her, then after his visit last night and acting weird on the way to the bus stop he said Tara I am sorry I havent been calling you star so much I can just call you Tara or MOM his brother even said just Mom (which his brother refused for him or anyone to call me mom), and he only hasnt called me star since last night after he came back from his mom, and I said honey I like when you call me Star its special to me, because you came up with that, and I loved it! But whatever you choose....tears heartbroken....sad...I hate that BITCH I KNOW SHE TOLD HIM TO STOP>>>JUST LIKE HE USED TO CALL ME MOM AND SHE THREW A FIT ABOUT THAT!!!! AND HE CTED WEIRD AND STOPPED!!!!! GGGGRRRRRRR

MoonMaMa8giving mom gift

by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Replies (141-148):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2012 at 6:18 PM


Quoting AmericanDream:

 

 So he is allowed to be disrespectful towards his mother.

????

I don't think it's disrespectful when  a child gets upset over his mother teasing him over something so minor and he's frustrated enough to yell at her. Really it's not like he does it often. Her and DH were teasing him-playing around-he was cranky and irritable. How much longer you wanna keep dragging this out?!

Seriously give it the fck up already-our kids are allowed to get frustrated and we can understand at times when they feel the need to yell. It's not the end of the world. They ALL know the difference between being disrespectful and being frustrated and trying to voice an opinion.

cherylam
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 10:08 AM

I'm called 'madre', and I'm ok with that, it's better than some of the names SD has called me.  I strongly discourage her calling me 'Mom', that's for her BM, not me.  DH refers to me as 'Mom' when he talks to her, but there's no stopping him.  Boundaries is all... BM & get along quite well.... we hve agreed we're both adults and only want the best for the kid, so immature behaviour is not going to be tolerated from either of us.

MoonMaMa8
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM

 I hear you on moms being protective about that, I guess I just figured since she willingly signed over her custodial rights for no reason( shes not on drugs or unable to keep them or diasabled in a way she cant take care of them) she just simply wanted to have time with her boyfriend, and do her own thing, and they were not her priority, until her ex-husband started getting serious with me, and stopped helping fund her and removed her from his bank account then she all of a sudden wanted to be around, and tried to break us up. IDK I just got upset, but I do understand your point...I prolly should try to be more open minded just hard sumtimes.

MoonMaMa8giving mom gift

MoonMaMa8
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hmmmmm...I don't think in there I said he is allowed to be disrespectful to anyone including his BM...although she did bail out on him and his brother for dick....her BF back home was so importante, she wouldn't move down with her family when her husband at time had to relocate for his job, then he filed for divorce because she was cheating again and he found out that was what was keeping her there, not the excuse of her job...which is fine with me because I met him and then the boys and I got to pick up the pieces of the family she threw away...I love my now hubby, and these precious boys...and I acknowledge their emotions, and feel they are very welcome to express them, should they fake it? Should they walk around acting like everything is ok, and that they are not bothered that she bailed out, and that they were hurting really bad when I came into the picture? I can recall one night when I was just dating their dad, I came over to visit, stopped off grabbed some popsicles(didn't really know why) n-e-who when I got there their dad had got called in right quick some propblem with a machine and his roomates didn't really realize one of the boys wasn't feeling to well and were forcing him to finish his dinner, and then he blew chunks all over the place, and I was like DANG!!! LOL, but I stepped up and got him cleaned up, and cleaned the mess realized he had fever gave him motrin and a popsicle to help lower temp, and he looked at me and said thanks Tara, I said np buddy, and I guess his dad got back in and was watching me threw the doorway, and both boys were just chatting up a storm, so where the FUCK was the bitch ass BM then?!!! HUH!!! When I was cleaning up her kids VOMIT and helping him she was fucking around with sum dude she threw her family away for....so I guess if he wants to let her know I am special to him, and that I am his STAR, then I guess that bitch can realize that maybe instead of putting sex and partying before her kids, she should have been there, and not after their dad closed the joint bank account and stopped paying her bills when she has her own job, and wasnt even living with them.  Yeah she was spending his money on herself, he may have been stupid for leaving his estranged and then ex-wife on the bank account but he did it for when if ever the kids were with her they would be able to get stuff they needed but she was buying shit for herself, when she spent 90 buck on school stuff, he said boys go get the stuff your mom bought you for school, it was two 5 dollar mesh backpacks....he said is that it, she was like yeah he said where other 80 bucks go, she just rolled her eyes, and he had informed her because of that kind of shit he closed that bank account, and then all hell broke loose, she used him for a paycheck, and she didn't care about the kids, and having them until the bank dried up, now she wants them, I am sure so she could get child support....NEWAYS, its all good, cuz she has canceled multiple times for her visitations and gave up her spring break if she was really wanting to be around she would be....but again I never said it was ok and he is allowed to outright disrespect her or anyone, but if it happens and its because he just got upset, then I guess he should be allowed to vent, and what she has to do is accept her poor choices and figure out how to help him get past these hardtimes concerning her. As for me, I will continue to be steadfast and a DAMN good MOM to my Biological children and my SKIDS, to me they are all my babies, blood or not, what she has to deal with is not my problem, I didn't throw my family away.

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting AmericanDream:

 

 So he is allowed to be disrespectful towards his mother.

????

I don't think it's disrespectful when  a child gets upset over his mother teasing him over something so minor and he's frustrated enough to yell at her. Really it's not like he does it often. Her and DH were teasing him-playing around-he was cranky and irritable. How much longer you wanna keep dragging this out?!

Seriously give it the fck up already-our kids are allowed to get frustrated and we can understand at times when they feel the need to yell. It's not the end of the world. They ALL know the difference between being disrespectful and being frustrated and trying to voice an opinion.

 

MoonMaMa8giving mom gift

MoonMaMa8
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:07 PM

 Your entitled to your opinion and thats fine, you don't have to watch them cry or be sad when she doesn't answer the phone when they call her, and I may vent on here the way I do BECAUSE I do not loose my cool in front of them, so how would you know if I contribute to the problem? Instead of stating I contribute to the problem you could first ask if I do, then make your conclusion...you seem like a very judgmental person yourself and very negative person yourself seeing as how you assume the worst of me not knowing if I am a problem in this factor at all if you read my post correctly I said buddy you can call me whatever makes you happy, and comfortable, even if that meant he would call me by my name so that his mother wouldn't be upset...how am I contributing to any problem? You seem like you just wanted to be a problem with my post...have a wonderful day...

MoonMaMa8
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:35 PM

 I am not competeing for anything me saying mom points was just an expression, it was like as if I was just minding my own buisness and doing right by everyone you can read back and see I told him to do whatever he felt he needed to do to be happy and comfortable, and he decided to do just that and inside I was happy I was SCORE!!! Like a happy celebration for myself that in me being a better person to put such pressure on a 9 yr old that in turn it worked out better for mine and his relationship...I am a mother I am a full time mom to him, his mother signed over her custodial rights under no gise, she just simply didnt want the responsibility, and so since I am the one who is up when they are sick, and takes off work when they have to get picked up and the one who packs their lunches and makes appointments and handles ALL THE MOM things then yes I DO deserve to be considered and called MOM if they choose to do so, my husband most certainly appreciates the boys having an involved and loving and protective mother for once in his childrens lives, so pass your ignorant judgment if you want, it doesn't change the fact that my husband saw qualities in me and liked the fact that I am a VERY GOOD MOTHER, and have provided a loving household, I have 5 of my own biological children, my OWN 7bdrm 3 bathroom HOME , I got on my OWN, I am responsible, succesful, professional, and very proud of what I have accomplished my 5 children have a deadbeat dad, who left us for a trick and heroine, left without a dime, instead of falling apart I struggled and climbed my way to the top of my mountain with three preteens and two babies in tow, and I never waivered in my devotion and commitment to accomplish great things for them, I never wanted to see my kids suffer ever again, and when I met my now husband I wasn't sure I could take on a role of SM and wife, because I had been through so much pain, and struggling, but when I got to know my Husband, and then finally was introduced to these AMAZING boys, I FELT something not just tugging at my heart but consume my heart, and I fell madly in love with the idea of being the mother they longed for, and have done nothing but try to teach them and help them and love them, and so just because she all of a sudden wanted to move down here because my now husband at the time told her that he was done waiting for her tired of her cheater ways, and that he was closing the joint bank account, thats when she got motivated(money motivated) then she wanted to be involved...thats sick to me...to only use people for financial gain and to play head games with your family is what I find disturbing and sick...and I am ok with many people not understanding what and why I find it so special to be his STAR, because many people don't truly understand what it feels like to TRULY suffer, and struggle, and to be thrown away, so to say, I was adopted, and then my own family thrown away, so it is VERY emotional area for me, and I find it hard to not relate to these children, and I may vent on here, but know that I always keep my cool around the children, because I don't want them to feel obligated one way or the other, I thought this was a place where I could vent or celebrate or express my inside opinions and feelings because I can't always do that anywhere else. So say or feel whatever you want I am a no tolerance kind of gal, as I have had my full of it, but I never go on any blogs or comments and outright attack someones character, without knowing them or asking them whats up, or say I see your upset and try to understand why or how I can help? I see many ppl on here attack others on here and you dont even try to ask them how you can help or why so angry or realize that this may be the only place some of us can express what we are feeling inside, I would rather vent on here, than on my family or around them...I appreciate those of you who see I am hurting or angry or happy or just whatever and try to help or offer support, but those of you who right off the bat, just try to attack what I feel, are probably the kind of mothers who do the same to their own family and friends and I feel sorry for them, in my opinion non of you who act like that deserve to call yourself mothers...and as for me I will most certainly call myself MOM...thank you.

MoonMaMa8giving mom gift

lilangilyn
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't feel like you have to defend yourself to anybody. I think it's sweet that he calls you Star. My daughter had a dear friend named Star who died of cancer recently, so I like the name. Better to vent on here than let it eat you up.

I understand what you mean by "mom points." It's just another way of saying that you felt good about yourself as a mom in that moment. It's like high fiving yourself. I had those moments a lot as a bio mom. I don't think I have had any as a stepmom though.

 

MoonMaMa8
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:09 PM
Thank you...feeling better....just seems like there are certain ppl who love to attack anything i post I could post I got ice cream and they would find something hateful or offensive in it and then say rude stuff...I like high fiving myself term maybe I will use that next time just hope certain persons dont turn that into a reason i dont deserve to be a mom! LOL ciao bella Im off to class!
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