I was watching "The Doctors" today and they had some guy who is the CEO of a company that promotes if your spouse is "fat", you need to have an affair. They had a pic of an obese woman that said above it "Did your wife scare you last night" and then a skinny chick above her.
I think this is sick.
Beauty, love, happiness comes in all shapes and sizes.
I remember my EX telling me he just "hated seeing me so big". (True, I was a whopper lol and we were having problems at that time). After he told me that, I lost a ton of weight and my attitude changed. I found out he had cheated on me, wanted me to stay (I guess now cause I looked better than I did), but Sorry! You didn't want me then, you don't need me now.
So what do you think? Do you think people have affairs because of their spouse gaining weight? Have you had an affair because your spouse gained weight? Have you been cheated on because of weight?
hm.... i think it only explains it in part..... cheating does not come from weight gaine, or letting oneself go alone..... there must be other things that accompony it..... at least, for the explanation to satisfy me.....
im glad that you see the difference in explanation... and excuse... so many dont know a days, they just seem to think if they can explain why they did something, it excuses it
Quoting looneytunes290:
I agree that there is never an excuse to cheat- however while these issues do not excuse bad behavior they do sometimes explain the bad behavior.
Quoting ariesp19:
id still say that cheating is not the answer..... talk to the spouse...work on it... if they refuse, divorce....
i dont think cheating is EVER the right answer
Quoting looneytunes290:
Situations like that weren't what the author was talking about and that was specified- if yOu are taking care of your appearance and making an effort- he was talking about people who really are lettin themselves go
Quoting ariesp19:
Quoting looneytunes290:
I read a marriage counseling type book a long time ago that talked about how if you were smoking hot when you got married and that was important to your spouse that you should try to take care of yourself. I have seen people let thselves go after they are married. I don't thnk it's any excuse to cheat- but I also don't thin it's a lot different than the expectation that a woman might have if she married someone with a really good job and then he decided to quit and be a bum. It isn't fair to make drastic changes after the license is signed.
saddly, its not always that we 'let ourselfs go'....... with my pregnancy with my oldest, i somehow gained 80 lbs.. i walked daily, i watched what i ait..... i have lost the 20 lbs i gaied with my second, lost the 25 lbs i gained with my twins..... lost the weight of all 5 of my losses..... the only one i cant seem to loose is my oldest...
i think many assume i 'let myself go' cause i got married and had kids, but thats not it at all........
I just turned 50 my dh is only 43. I have gained 15 lbs from when we married 4 years ago
I hate it yet he still thinks I'm hot. I think he needs glasses........but am grateful he still feels that way.
he could stand to lose 20 lbs himself. But turning 50 and having a medical scare - some things are
just not important any longer.
Quoting jessiesluv:are you still with him?
Quoting mirm99:
Oh how shallow!.. when I got w dh I was 145 and fit.. and he was huge but I felt something for him so I would never cheat on dh bc of his weight.. but when I had ds I was 200lbs and I remember dh would make comments to change shirts and stuff and when we separated he got w bm which he and she made sure to rub in my face that she was skinny and had no stretch marks... so yes I've been put downand I guess cheated on due to weight gain.. ive lost the weight now andnim back to 145 but im.still self consious of my body..
Would you be insulted? And a second question...
- jessiesluv
on Apr. 2, 2012 at 2:24 PM