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When does the SM over"step" her boundaries

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It seems like every BM has limits to what is overstepping by the SM.  Besides when SM call's herself "mom" (because we know that is a big no no to most BMs)  what makes you feel she just shouldnt do something.

 

by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Replies (101-102):
OregonMom80
by on May. 11, 2012 at 2:39 PM

This is always an interesting topic for me.  BM was fine with me when I first came on the scene, claimed she wanted to get along, etc. which lasted until DH & I moved in together and DSS asked to spend more time at our house.  It apparently occurred to her that DSS actually liked me and she wanted to know from DH how serious it was.  Some combo of DSS liking me & DH telling her he saw it heading to marriage set off the crazy button.  Suddenly the fact that we all did things together and *gasp* had pictures of it was an issue.  Well, maybe even us all doing things was an issue because it seemed everything we did was something she had wanted to take him to do.  So, apparently leaving our house was overstepping, take pictures of us out doing things was overstepping.  Later that fact that I was with my husband on HIS parenting time at an EC of DSS's was a problem even though her bf showed up for 1/2 of them as well.  The couple practices on our time I didn't go to, she wanted to stand around and talk to DH the whole time about what went wrong in their marriage or all the ways in which she sees herself as a the superior parent or how he should parent (make sure he showers after because he'll be sweaty, make sure to put powder in his shoes, make sure, make sure, make sure) even when he repeatedly told her he's fully aware of how to take care of his child & doesn't need her help.  Ironically this is all coming from the woman who couldn't seem to "make sure" the child had all of his gear nearly every week he came over & when we got some extras of a couple things, asked us to bring ours a few times because she couldn't find hers at her house.  We always had his stuff (assuming she sent it), were always on time, always knew about the changes, he's always appropriately dressed when we have him, etc. [none of these things are true of BM by the way].  I hardly think DH is the one who needs tips on how to be a parent out of the two of them, but she always talks to DH likes she's a model parent who does everything perfectly and he's clueless.  It used to bother him, now he just says stuff like, "Really?  A shower?  I was thinking he shouldn't shower the whole weekend.  We like it when really smelly people are at our house."  She sort of laughs awkwardly and shuts up.  Ah, good times.

MillieJ
by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:49 PM

This is scaring the hell out of me!!! SO has two kids (5 and 7), he has them every other weekend. My biggest fear is BM...I don't want to step on any toes, I don't want to cause any problems, but I don't even know where to start! lol I have NO idea what I'm doing... So far it hasn't gotten to the point where I need to do any disciplining, except to remind them occasionaly what their father has said about certain things. It's all very intimidating, and this post is making it so much worse lol

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