See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
think the stepkids are killing their dog and right now, DH and I are
not in any form of agreement on this matter. Its just another topic he
sees as me "picking on his kids".
I want to start this off by giving a quick background on the dog in question who is now my stepsons. She is around 10 years old, no one knows for sure. She has only been to the vet one time in her entire life on April 4th, 2012 when I demanded either DH take her to animal control for care or allow me to take her to the vet regardless of stepsons protests. She has never had a rabies shot (still doesn't, will explain later), never had a real consist diet (her former owner, my BIL never feed her unless she was begging for scraps at the dinner table or literally stole them out of peoples hands if kids tried to eat on the couch. i.e. at big family gatherings we have an 8 person table, and two folding tables with chairs, and the kids 10 and under usually sit on the couch and eat off the coffee table. so they all have been biten/food stolen from).
Now, when I moved in I put her on what my dog ate (he was an older dog, with seizures and food allergies. So I did special lamb and rice from the vet for him). She did great! shinny coat, put on some weight... when BIL saw me feed her dog food, he flipped out on me. He never trained her for anything, etc. Started beating her really bad when she came to me, etc.
DH always said he'd fix it and never did. I took my boy to the vet every 6 months if not sooner (the last few years since he was now elderly, 13+). Now EVERY time I made his appointment, I begged/pleaded to take her too. One more dog wouldn't cost much, I'm already paying the office visit. So it would just be rabies, etc... But BIL had it in his head she'd die.
Well after lots of drama, and me leaving and prepping the divorce paperwork... DH actually kicked BIL out and I moved back in with DD. BIL never took the dog, she became the stepsons dog.
Now, these kids totally agree with their uncle on dog training/handling. Don't feed her, clean up after her (she isn't house broken). I have her trained now to go to the door, but if kids are here... and see me try to take her outside, they flip. Dogs just don't belong outside! I feed her/do what I want when they are at school, but when they are here I do nothing unless they aren't in the room.
She started acting weird/off about a month ago. The kids said she went blind and can't see, I disagreed and thought she was having seizures. My dog had them, I know the signs/what it looks like.
They wouldn't take her to the vet. Now, assuming they are right and she is "blind", why would they repeatedly beat her then throw her down the hall from their bedroom when she "blindly/accidentally" knocks over a can of soda on the floor? I totally went above and beyond what DH said to do (which was nothing) and called in an anonymous report to the animal cruelty line.
She kept seeming to be off. Kids didn't care.. she even has worms right now, for a few months and the kids wont treat her for it. I've done a few treatments but its not getting rid of it. The kids instead bought a new playstation 3, video games, laptop, etc.
Well, April 4th.... To save retyping it, here is just a repost from my private journal with names changed to generic abbreviation.
I really don't think Dog is going to make it. I asked DH before I even said anything to the kids, if its okay if we just take her to the vet anyways. He said its okay and I can take her, even if SS1 says no.
I mentioned the idea of taking her to a vet today, she started acting even worse last night. She got stuck in the basement and couldn't climb the stairs to get back up. I'm sorry, but to me, that's like red flag 101919191 that she needs to see a vet. Sure elderly dogs get problems moving around, but at least get it scene before playing vet yourself. But they just put it off on her aging.
This morning SS1 asked if I minded watching her cause she peed two times in his room and it smells like chicken broth. He thinks she ate something with chicken in it and that's why. I disagree. I really don't think animals pee smells like the food they may have eaten. Secondly, where the hell would she get chicken at? We haven't cooked/made any in over a week at the house. So there isn't any way she got "chicken" or even chicken scraps from the trash or what not. To me, it sorta smells like a fainter version of the smell Baby did/had after he had a seizure. But I don't really know. For all I know, maybe she just has a dog version of a urinary track infection??? But I think a vet is in order.
I asked him if he minded me taking her to the vet while hes at college today or if he wanted to go with... he said he doesn't think a vet can do anything for her and its a waste of money (same song and dance). I'm like, your dad said he'd pay for it and its only like 60 dollars for an in office consultation / see her. For all we know, she just might have a urinary track infection and can be treated with antibiotics and get on a dewormer too. Its worth the time/money if you care for the dog, but she needs to be scene. After a bit of talking he said okay.
I have an appointment for her set at 5pm today, but they said if I can get her in sooner they will be glad to work us in (I told them as much as I know/think/feel about her history). DH gets off work at 4 and will be here at around 4:15 - 4:30ish with the money and so he can watch DD. A niece (Niece) is going to take dog and I to the vets.
I know SS1 thinks they will just put her to sleep or that is what I'm going to ask for. But I'm NOT making that choice. I am making the choice/demand, to get her scene. The vet can decide treatments, etc. And I told him I will call/text him whatever is said, for him to have an input/decide what is going to happen, if anything with her.
Now to go get dressed. I still have Dog snuggled up in a laundry basket with blankets and a heating pad. I got a slightly dirty look from one of the kids for keeping her in it.... but I don't think Dog is all there, if that makes sense. shes just wandering around, shaking, seeming disoriented.. hard time moving. I think its safer for her in there and the vet assistant agreed since I did ask them what to do with her until she is there.
I do take her to the vet.... and again, sorry its long, but another post from journal
The vet was good/bad. I'm not sure to really say the least. I mean its nothing the vet did, its just the news, possibilities of treatments, and all of the related concerns with the care she will get from now on. Or should I say lack of care. Dog has liver failure, kidney failure, and more.
I guess I will start off with the before we get there. Niece came over, took a look at Dog and totally agreed that yes she needs to see a vet. So, I'm not being a total mental, obnoxious bitch for wanting to take her to the vet.
I didn't have a leash to put her on. Other dog chewed through the ones I had for Baby and Dog never walked on a leash anyways. So Niece and I just go with the use the basket route (its not like shes in any condition to run off, but still). She's sleeping in the basket fine and at least its something. So I switch the bedding out, remove the heating pad, and we are off to the vets.
We get there earlier, about 4:40ish. We go in and in a few minutes are in a private room with her. She's weighted and is a little over 12 lbs. The vet assistant comes in, we try to go over as much history of her health as we can. I mean honestly, she is 10 years old and I have not been in DH's life for that long, let alone the fact this was his brothers dog and he use to live with his parents until they died and he moved in with DH (no way to support himself, he never ever worked!).
I know bits and pieces like she's had seizures and her mom had them too. But there is no vet care history I can share since both BIL and SS1 refused to take her to the vet. For fucks sake, SS1 literally just bought a play station 3 and video games and made the choice to NOT take her to the vet because he didn't think she was worth the money. Instead, he said his goodbyes to her over a month ago and told her its okay to die. I mean, WTF. I'm told this by Niece while waiting for the vet to come back in and its similar to what SS2 had said to me before I left to the vets.
The vet comes in and goes over some of the possibilities and asks what I'd like to do. Do I want to pay for the extended blood work to get a maybe better idea. He also suggested just putting her to sleep (almost like 10 times in this conversation) since she is old, and given her lack of care and age, she probably won't make it through the treatments like a younger dog would. I go with the option for blood work and call SS1 to let him know the basics (they aren't sure what it is, but there is something neurological going on. No she is not blind and she does not have cataracts. They just took her out for blood work to be done.).
So while we are waiting, Dog has what I call a seizure. She's standing there a little disoriented, starts smacking her mouth almost like shes chewing bubblegum, with a little bit of drool about her muzzle. I hate to say it, but um. Bingo! Its not something I want to be right on, but I've been telling these damn kids for a few weeks now, she is HAVING SEIZURES, but they don't see it as a seizure since shes not falling down and convulsing on the floor. The vet is like there are a few different types of seizures and what she is doing/going through is a type of seizure.
So now, the blood work comes back in. She has liver and kidney failure plus a few other problems that he said at this point, don't mater in consideration to the first two and the seizures. He said based on the tests he did, her liver probably has almost completely failed or is about to completely fail since the whatever was sooo low on the charts it almost didn't even measure. Meanwhile the amonia (sp?) is soo high, its not binding together to be filter out by her also failing if not failed kidneys. So, right now, though she has had seizures in the past, this lack of getting rid of amonia can be whats causing her to be so disoriented/confused to explain why shes walking/stumbling around as if shes blind. Since she does see the stool (when he was doing the check to see how she moves around objects he used his body and the stool as obstacles) and will move around it, but its clumsy. And if she walks under it to get caught by a leg, she's not backing out to get out of the spot, she just stands there.
Well, I did have SS1 back on the phone and put it on speaker so he could hear what the vet had to say when the vet came back in.
I talk it over with him, and then ask what sort of treatments can be done for her? At this point, SS1 is off the phone and wants to be called back when he knows how much its going to cost/if his dad will pay for it.
So we have 3 options given to us..
1st is we put her to sleep. Niece asked if that's what I was going to do because apparently that's what everyone had been texting her about. That I only brought the dog in to be killed. I'm like, NO. I made the choice to bring her to the vet because I couldn't stand to watch her be the way she was. Everyone was just writing her off to die and was okay with not doing anything for her. I already told SS1 before he left for school that I was NOT taking her in to make the choice for her to be put to sleep. I want to take her to be scene since for all we know, it could be a UTI and easily treated by antibiotics and maybe get a dewormer. Anything that will be done to this dog, will be, because HE said its okay to do this"
The other option is we pay to hospitalize her until she gets better. Its at least 300 dollars per a night, plus X amount per every house. I already knew we could not afford this. But it was still an option we told him about.
Lastly, we take her home with antibiotics and give her water every hour from a syringe to flush her system. Try a new diet (some can food they have for dogs with this condition), and see how she responds to this treatment before continuing with other stuff/or whatever. At this point, he knows she has worms and never had a rabies shot in her life. He said he does not see treating her for any of that at this point, since he doesn't think she would last a treatment (shes so dehydrated and hasn't eaten all of yesterday, up til that point at least).
So I call, explain it all to SS1. He isn't willing to help with any of the medical costs. I talk to DH and he talks to SS1. So it was agreed, we bring her home for option 3.
I get all the stuff from the vet, instructions printed (just in case he doesn't believe me when I say stuff), and we go home.
He isn't giving her the water by mouth/the syringe thing every hour, He's got a bowl of water I put down with her can food (vet said there was no limit on water, so any she drinks is fine but to still give the syringe filled at least 2-3 times every hour for the next two days at least). Then if she is drinking on her own, we can stop. But he will call today to see how she is, if she made it the night.
They all are at least listening to me on the food, but then again, shes not really eating anything. She did eat half of the can last night though.
So, I woke up at about 4 and heard SS1 up. I knock and ask how is she doing, did she pee.. etc. He is like shes stumbling around and he can't remember if she peed. I'm like, "okay, its very important that we get her to pee a lot, so you might want to try the water 2 of them, every half hour. if you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask or wake me"
But yeah. I just don't know how things are gonna go at this point. I didn't tell him what the vet said about her probably not going to make it long. I did tell DH.
So the dog has been getting a little better, and was able to move around yesterday/easter. For holidays I always got my pets/her a treat from the pet store (they do make holiday theme treats out of special dog food, etc. all natural). But I didn't get any animals anything. So much arguing over the Easter stuff already and this dog is not suppose to eat anything except the dog food from the vet's office. We are trying to do a special treatment to see if the meds will work.
Well, SK's yesterday feed her everything and anything. Chocolate (though I and a few other people said dogs can't have it....). SS doesn't want her on the vet's food (because he doesn't want the money wasted. He um, does not buy her food as it is, I do). She went from moving around to being disoriented, having seizures, and just a lump body of a dog on the ground yesterday. I know one of my SiL agrees with me that she needs different care than what SS is doing/not doing.
Well, today, she hasn't improved. I gave her, her meds once the Stepkids left (one to college, the other is on spring break and went to his friends). I have her confined to a basket with heating pad, she had fallen/rolled down the stairs while SS's were both here (neither thought anything was wrong with her falling down the stairs), and resumed her vet care/instructions/treatment.
DH doesn't want to take her back to the vet. He's already pissed about the 200+ vet bill. He says he doesn't want the dog, etc... but why can't we just find her a good home with someone who can work with her? or like properly treat her here??? Why won't he just tell the 21 year old "Grow the fuck up, take care of this dog if you want to keep her?"
I am just so feed up with all of them, DH included.
What would you do, if you even read all of that (or even parts!)???