Starting here, hope this is the right place - child support vs alimony - which does child care fall under?*EDIT*

[beth68sc]

So, when my ex and I were in mediation I understood that pre-school/daycare costs were worked in to alimony - and that child support was for food, clothing and shelter of the child. Well, I am going back to work in a few weeks and have asked the ex to pay his share of the summer BASE program the school offers for working parents. He is refusing saying that he shouldn't have to pay because it is included in CS - that is not what my paperwork says and we have been going around and around.

 

Does anyone know about this stuff and could give me some advice, this is, as always, making me crazy.

Thanks!

I should have added this in, I received alimony for 3 years, it ended two years ago. I have paid all child care expenses up to now. But I feel like he should help, our son would have to be in after school care on his days anyway, I just was staying home so I kept him home with me and his Dad would pick him up from my house. Now I have a great opportunity to get back in the workforce doing what I like and since I have provided all of the care, on his days or mine, I want to be able to take this job. My memory of the CO was that child care was part of the alimony and CS is a standard formula in the State of Colorado and only considers income from both parties and distribution of time with the child. I hope that clears it up  a little. Thanks for all the responses.

[chanizen]

It depends on the co. So check there first. In my co, daycare and preschool are not included. The ex should pay half of childcare on top of cs. He does not pay alimony.

It is the same in dh's co.

[neverbeamom]

SO's CS included childcare expenses.  

[zannahdeux]

Alimony has nothing to do with the kids this money is all for you momma. After school and camp are extras so what does your cs agreement say about extras?

[zannahdeux]

Also if you get alimony and you can't put your kid in child care then you should remind him that if you can't work because he won't help pay for camp you will take him back for more alimony. That should fix it....

[yesmaam]

 He's wrong. Was child care calculated into the CS already? look at your CO.  If not just contact CS and have them adjust it.

[Amy1973Potts]

Okay let me see if I understand this - and I am not trying to sound harsh. First check your CO. SEcond, because YOU are choosing to go back to work and MAKE money, you want him to foot a bill he has no say in. This is how it is coming across to me. Alimony and CS are two separate things.

[sandeeyo]

Quoting zannahdeux:

Also if you get alimony and you can't put your kid in child care then you should remind him that if you can't work because he won't help pay for camp you will take him back for more alimony. That should fix it....

How would she take him back for more alimony if the alimony portion expired?  It's usually 1/2 the lifetime of the marriage, and like CS, a set amount of time.  You must have meant go back for more CS?

[kristinbugg]

Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Okay let me see if I understand this - and I am not trying to sound harsh. First check your CO. SEcond, because YOU are choosing to go back to work and MAKE money, you want him to foot a bill he has no say in. This is how it is coming across to me. Alimony and CS are two separate things.

I don't understand this.  If BM doesn't work, then people complain that she isn't providing support for the child.  If BM does decide to go back to work and needs help with childcare from BD, then she is told that BD shouldn't help with childcare because he has no say in BM choosing to go back to work.  Which is it?

[KCayea]

well ask your lawyer. thats the best bet. and im my CO is says he is to pay 95$ a week plus 1/2 of child care and 1/2 of any medical bills

so its pretty simple, Of course he barely pays his support so i pay full med bills.. and for the ladt about the child care being her choice and she should pay. my Job Switched my hours. switch or your done, Now have no child care needs but if that made them more. my ex would have to pay. they are HIS kids too

[chasinrainbows]

Pay the childcare then ask for CS to be modified since childcare will be an added expense which should cause an increase in CS.