I'm CSM for DH's two kids (10 & 14). I don't have any bio kids of my own and although I know I'm not a "real" Mom, I am a SM and always feel left out on Mother's Day. Even DH's SM (with no kids of her own) get cards and plants from her step grandkids for Mother's Day, so don't tell me it's just for real Moms.
BM has always insisted on having the kids for Mother's Day and DH & I are totally on board with that. The kids usually go to BM's while DH & I have the weekend to ourselves. DH and the kids never really acknowledge me for Mother's Day except last year when SD10's class planted flowers for Mother's Day with a little painted stick to go in it. SD gave the plant to her Mom but gave me the stick. The only people who do anything to acknowledge me on Mother's Day is DH's Mom and SM and my sisters (they've given me cards, plants or treat me to lunch). It's always an oversight for DH but I'm trying to learn to accept it.
Yesterday DH was scheduling visitation with BM for the next few months and for some strange reason it turned out BM didn't take Mother's Day (she took another weekend instead). DH said that at first BM was adamant that she get Mother's Day, saying, "the kids will be devastated if they're not with me on Mother's Day", but when she found out she'd have to have the kids back to back weekends she gave up Mother's Day in a heartbeat.
That means the kids will be here for Mother's Day. I'm really worried about it because the kids have always been taught that it's BM's day and I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. At the same time I know I'll be hurt if they blow me off. It's easy when they're not here because I can just pretend it's just another weekend. I'm trying hard not to think about it and am thinking I'll just make plans to do something else. Maybe go out with a friend and let DH have time alone with the kids instead.
Any childless Stepmoms struggle with the same thing?