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Speaking of Mother's Day, question for BMs

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:05 PM
  • 22 Replies

This is technically a question about Father's Day but the posts about Mother's Day got me thinking. BM is now married. She sees the kids for visitation  1 day a month. Her husband doesn't do a whole lot with the kids when she does see them, Especially now with his schedule change. He comes home for dinner, they eat, put in a movie or watch TV, kids are either playing in another room with little sister or watching TV also. In the morning he leaves for work and then the kids come home. Would it be right to buy a gift for him for Father's Day? I kind of see it as no because he is not a father figure to them. They like him well enough but they have told me multiple times they don't believe BM and him will stay married because they are always fighting when they're home together.

My SKs acknowledge me for Mother's Day each year, they spend either the whole day with me or they may see BM for a few hours, depending on her mood. My DH takes them out along with the other children to go shopping for me each year, I take the SKs out separately to shop for BM. Should I also start having them pick up something for their step father? Everything in me screams no but maybe I am being biased. What do you all think? Anyone in this position? What do you do?

by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FloridaMomma
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:11 PM
2 moms liked this
Nope. That's BM's job.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:13 PM
2 moms liked this

It would be up to BM to do something for him.

super_mom_5
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:14 PM

i personally wouldnt. that would be something that bm would be responsible for.

ThaliakarmaAB
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:15 PM

I wouldn't if it were my child. Dh gives his girls money to buy for their mother, yes even the 19 year old that has a job.

LoveMyBlessings
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:16 PM

As long as he hasn't PURPOSEFULLY stated that he has no intentions of getting to know them, be nice to them, etc... I would have them make him a card and maybe a small gift. Why not? Have them make it and send it with them on the closest visitation to Father's Day. I think it would be really nice of you and BF to do that for him.

kim8934
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this

depending on the kids ages, if the kids say no, then no.  I use to take my kids to get their father a gift for father's day, nothing expensive.  One year, my youngest, decided, after we bought the gift, that he didn't want to give it to him.  He decided to keep the gift for himself to remind him of his dad, his father rarely saw him and I wasn't going to push a sensitive subject. I would probably check with the kids again, just to make sure.

LoveMyBlessings
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM

kim8934 has a good point... ask the kids if they want to. They might want to but not ask, so they don't hurt BF's feelings. They might have no interest in doing anything. See what they say.

ec_mom
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this
This


Quoting FloridaMomma:

Nope. That's BM's job.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:45 PM

I think it is BM's job.

CoochieLibre
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 4:34 PM

I wouldn't do it unless the kids asked. 

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