Ok, I recently married my husband in feb of this year! He and I had been friends for few years and he had been with ,what is now his baby's mother for years! they had split up and she found out she was pregnant! they never got back together but they fought constanyl throughout whole pregnancy! She didnt tell him when she was born until three days after and didnt put his nbame on the birth cert. !! Two weeks after the baby was born we started dating. I have known the mother since we were in preschool and when she found out when were seeing each other she FLIPPED OUT on him! I have never been in trouble and solely raised my kids alone for the time i was previously married to "boy" that was never ready to take care of his own self much less two kids! when the baby was two and half months old she quit letting him see her completely.
My husband is a hard workin loving and caring man that has never been "in trouble", but she likes to hold the baby over his head. A month ago, we went to DHR and started the DNA process to be able to establish paterinty and change her name and also start chold support. She is always after $$$ and as being a mother of two kids from previous marriage that has a dead beat felon for thir dad, i understand it take LOTS of money to raise a child.
Two weeks ago, OUT OF THE BLUE, the mother calls and says she wants to forget the past and start over for the baby sake (we had begged for that the whole time). so as of now she and him and even me are all gettin along. he is gettin to see her BUT he has to go to her parents house (where she and the baby still live) and stay for whatever hours and whenever she says its ok and she sits with him in the room! He has asked her if she can start coming over to our home and she says "when she feels it's time she will" but " until the baby is old enough to say "i want to spend the night at daddy's" she will not be allowed! because she doesnt feel like the baby will be comfortable enough to stay away from her that long and it's not good for the baby!
Now I have never been know to "keep my opinions to myself" but in this case I am BITING MY TONGUE! He doesnt want to have to take it to court BUT I think its the ONLY way that things can be always half civial and when she decides to get mad again to keep him from the baby!! I AM BEGGING FOR ADVICE FROM OUTSIDE THE FAMILY!!! Thank you for anyone thats takes thier time to try to help me make sense of this