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Help! 13 year old ss wont stop pooping his pants!!!!!

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM
  • 133 Replies

For the last 3 years, my ss has been going in his pants. Not to gross anyone out, but its small amounts, enough to become dried clumps in his underwear & at times, seep through his jeans even. It has the most horrific smell Ive ever smelled! He tries to keep it a secret by either throwing his underwear away (due to this, we are always having to buy him new underwear) or he puts them @ the bottom of the hamper. Unfortunately, I always seem to be the lucky one who reaches in the hamper for clothes to put in the washer & ends up touching his nasty poop!! Many of his jeans are also stained from it as well. When he does this, he won't change his pants & underwear on his own. He only changes them when we either notice the smell or he is taking a shower. My husband checks him periodically to make sure he has not went in his pants but we get busy some times & he doesn't get him checked in time. He does it @ our house & bm's house. We have tried to talk with him about it with no luck. He just gets angry & refuses to speak, usually followed by a major behavior. Ss is diagnosed adhd & has been on meds since he was in 3rd grade (now 7th) for the adhd & "rage issues". We have had him in sessions with 3 different counselors in the last 4 years, private sessions & family sessions. We have also been to 5 different doctors who all agree that there is no reason for the dirty pants except for laziness on ss's part. My husband is to the point where he is fed up with it & really spoke his mind to ss yesterday about it after we noticed the smell & discovered that he had done it again. I guess my point is that I feel like we have exhausted every possible solution to help ss stop doing this. Im seriously ready to tell my husband that ss will have to start wearing a diaper when he is @ our house. Anyone have any other ideas that might work?

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KellyReedy
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:02 AM
4 moms liked this

THAT'S JUST NASTY!

mom2cheesebug
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Please don't put that poor kid in a diaper. He wants attention, even if its bad attention. Does he get one on one time with his dad? Is he in any sports or clubs?

I would try to get him counseling or therapy. He might just need someone to talk to and vent to. A lot can go through a 13 year old mind and being shuffled from house to house can be hard as well.

KellyReedy
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this

No more underwear....I'd make him buy his own!

SammyJK
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Oh wow! This started suddenly 3 years ago? Generally thats a sign of something happening/having had happened or a medical issue at that age. 8 different doctors/councilors in 3 years say nothing?
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SammyJK
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:08 AM
What does his mom say about it?
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tryingmom925
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:27 AM

3 yrs ago is when my husband & I were married. That is the only thing I am aware of that happened emotionally in ss's life. I know it sounds like Im defending myself here but we were engaged for a year. Ss was very excited & him & my son were the best men in our wedding. We spent a lot of time speaking with the kids (my son, ss & sd), making sure everything was happening @ a pace that everyone was comfortable. I really thought he was fine with it. After the wedding, he begged to live with us. The situation became negative quick when bm began having problems with all of it. The amount of drama that has occured since then has made me alone feel like Im 100 yrs old some days. I know it doesn't hold a candle to what these kids have been through tho. Things with bm are obviously still rocky so she will not speak to my husband about the poopy pants @ her house (or any other problem). She has pulled him out of every counselor that ss has met with everytime they start telling bm & my husband that the main problems lie with her, not us. My husband makes a point to spend some father/son alone time when ss is here to help give ss extra attention.

ThePinkRobot
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:28 AM
3 moms liked this
Fuck that. Yeah I'd make him wear a diaper & do his own laundry. My 6 yr old ss has shit himself a few times & I completely freak out. Can't handle it.
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Angelknot8
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:39 AM
3 moms liked this

Sounds to me like a little more then adhd going on. Has ss been evaluated for anything else? And Our 3 y/o in on the autism spectrum and would poop and smear it on the walls ect his therapist finally said make him clean it. I thought she was crazy but it WORKED! I stood there I sprayed the cleaner gave him the paper towels and it took him 45 minutes ( would have take me 5) while he tried everything to not clean it. He had not done it since. Make him to his own dirty laundry. As hard as it is dont freak out, dont yell , show no emotion at all. This is just how it is. You made the mess your going to clean it. First strike you clean it, Second strike you clean it and loose ( video game or something important for say 3 days) Third strike you clean it and say maybe loose a special date (upcoming party, movie night ect). Talk calmly and lay out the punishment plan ahead of time. This way he know hes not getting a reaction.

  




 
 

pampire
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 1:20 AM

My first instinct is that there's something motivating him....maybe "just" attention seeking, or testing how much you and his dad love him, maybe something else.  If he won't open up about it then maybe going the make him clean it route would be a good tactic.

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:11 AM
Yes I would make him wear diapers. I hope this will deter the attention he wants or justvmake him feel dumb and want to stop doing it if this is the spcase.I know you have struggled with this for some time now. I am so sorry! My only and last suggestion is to talk to the doc prescribing his meds...anal leakage could be a side effect? Also perhaps he thinks he has to fart when he actually has to poop? Big hugs!!
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