Help! 13 year old ss wont stop pooping his pants!!!!!
For the last 3 years, my ss has been going in his pants. Not to gross anyone out, but its small amounts, enough to become dried clumps in his underwear & at times, seep through his jeans even. It has the most horrific smell Ive ever smelled! He tries to keep it a secret by either throwing his underwear away (due to this, we are always having to buy him new underwear) or he puts them @ the bottom of the hamper. Unfortunately, I always seem to be the lucky one who reaches in the hamper for clothes to put in the washer & ends up touching his nasty poop!! Many of his jeans are also stained from it as well. When he does this, he won't change his pants & underwear on his own. He only changes them when we either notice the smell or he is taking a shower. My husband checks him periodically to make sure he has not went in his pants but we get busy some times & he doesn't get him checked in time. He does it @ our house & bm's house. We have tried to talk with him about it with no luck. He just gets angry & refuses to speak, usually followed by a major behavior. Ss is diagnosed adhd & has been on meds since he was in 3rd grade (now 7th) for the adhd & "rage issues". We have had him in sessions with 3 different counselors in the last 4 years, private sessions & family sessions. We have also been to 5 different doctors who all agree that there is no reason for the dirty pants except for laziness on ss's part. My husband is to the point where he is fed up with it & really spoke his mind to ss yesterday about it after we noticed the smell & discovered that he had done it again. I guess my point is that I feel like we have exhausted every possible solution to help ss stop doing this. Im seriously ready to tell my husband that ss will have to start wearing a diaper when he is @ our house. Anyone have any other ideas that might work?
My DD is 16 and has had this for years although it is much better the last couple. Her's also caused peeing in her pants. She held it in because she had large hard stools, that in turn pressed on her bladder causing incontinence and the bowel leakage in her underpants. Poor thing had a bladder test but it turned out fine. The x ray confirmed the holding in. It's very frustrating and difficult to manage on a day to day basis and you can lose your cool in frustration but no amount of humiliation to the child will solve it. She wore pull ups as long as they would fit at night. The worst was spending the night with girls in middle school and having an accident if she thought she was going to be ok and afraid to take one.
She went on vacation with a friend once and she had to take a week's worth of pull ups and plastic bags to stash them in. We tried very hard not to let the other girl find out because of the humiliation it could cause later if she told. When she got back she said she left all the bags under the bed, good lord, I agonized for her and still do. A couple girls at school she spent the night with did find out when she had an accident (middle school) but have been very sweet and as far as I know it's not gotten out. We told them it was a medical condition and they sympathized while she cried. It's heartbreaking really. No child, boy or girl, wants that embarrassment, and I can't imagine having your SM know you have this. I hope this year has gotten better for you!
However I'd recommend going to court with one of the old therapist and get court ordered therapy for ss. If you get a good lawyer you can get court ordered therapy for both bm and ss plus bm pay for it.
Quoting Angelknot8:Sounds to me like a little more then adhd going on. Has ss been evaluated for anything else? And Our 3 y/o in on the autism spectrum and would poop and smear it on the walls ect his therapist finally said make him clean it. I thought she was crazy but it WORKED! I stood there I sprayed the cleaner gave him the paper towels and it took him 45 minutes ( would have take me 5) while he tried everything to not clean it. He had not done it since. Make him to his own dirty laundry. As hard as it is dont freak out, dont yell , show no emotion at all. This is just how it is. You made the mess your going to clean it. First strike you clean it, Second strike you clean it and loose ( video game or something important for say 3 days) Third strike you clean it and say maybe loose a special date (upcoming party, movie night ect). Talk calmly and lay out the punishment plan ahead of time. This way he know hes not getting a reaction.
DS10 has a friend who has to wear night time pull up type underwear because of night time accidents. DS has no idea, and I helped his friend hide it from DS. DS wouldn't have said anything, but his friend was SO scared DS would find out.
Quoting Bertieb:My DD is 16 and has had this for years although it is much better the last couple. Her's also caused peeing in her pants. She held it in because she had large hard stools, that in turn pressed on her bladder causing incontinence and the bowel leakage in her underpants. Poor thing had a bladder test but it turned out fine. The x ray confirmed the holding in. It's very frustrating and difficult to manage on a day to day basis and you can lose your cool in frustration but no amount of humiliation to the child will solve it. She wore pull ups as long as they would fit at night. The worst was spending the night with girls in middle school and having an accident if she thought she was going to be ok and afraid to take one.
She went on vacation with a friend once and she had to take a week's worth of pull ups and plastic bags to stash them in. We tried very hard not to let the other girl find out because of the humiliation it could cause later if she told. When she got back she said she left all the bags under the bed, good lord, I agonized for her and still do. A couple girls at school she spent the night with did find out when she had an accident (middle school) but have been very sweet and as far as I know it's not gotten out. We told them it was a medical condition and they sympathized while she cried. It's heartbreaking really. No child, boy or girl, wants that embarrassment, and I can't imagine having your SM know you have this. I hope this year has gotten better for you!
Quoting ThePinkRobot:
Fuck that. Yeah I'd make him wear a diaper & do his own laundry. My 6 yr old ss has shit himself a few times & I completely freak out. Can't handle it.
When my sis took her to the doc they did an x-.ray and the girl was packed full of poo!!!
She couldn't even feel when to go anymore because the constipation made our angel lose that sensation!!!!
LMAO, I didn't even notice that until you said something. I assumed it was April this year!
Quoting jlg12678:Another old ass post dredged up from the past....
They think she took him and ran...
- tryingmom925
on Apr. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM