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Two weekends in a row....Advice please

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:27 PM
  • 97 Replies

We had the skids this last weekend and had to miss a great concert because of it. Now we have tickets to something this next weekend and can't go because of skid event. Ugh! I wish once in a while we could skip all these skid events. Next weekend we will spend all weekend running from one thing to another. OSS told us about another thing Sat. night and we have tickets to something i've been planning for 3 months. I can't ask DH to miss things with his kids so I go without him or skip it. No hope of him coming with me. Do you think it would be bad for me to ask to override kids once or twice a year? DH only has skids EOWnd , but the kids have stuff every weekend because of sports and stuff. It is going to get worse as they get older. Do any of you do this? I never missed stuff for my kids growning up , but sometimes BM doesn't come to the skids stuff on our weekends? is it normal in step-situations to be more fluid in going to the kids activities? Has missing things ever backfired on the NCP? 

by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
neverbeamom
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Personally, if something like this came up with SS, and SO and I already had plans- SO would find a babysitter for the night.  I do not see the harm in skipping one or two sports things or events a year to get out and do things for JUST you and DH.

You need time for you guys, too.  If you don't, that's how resentment starts.

LivnSimply
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:50 PM
This is how I manage things. I have kids full-time and then we have stepson every other weekend.

I ask DH if he wants to do something. If he says yes, I make arrangements for our kids. SS included if he's with us that weekend.

I don't plan things during games as I get the schedule and block out those times. They are usually during the day or weeknight so this isn't an issue.

We do not go to everything on BMs weekend for SS. Our lives do not stop just because we have kids. We keep our dates and plans based on what came first and balance things for us and them.
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jlg12678
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this

If my dh and I already have plans the skid stuff simply doesn't happen. Sorry, but we have lives outside of the kids (his and mine) and if it's a kid-free weekend (again, his and mine) our plans come first.


looneytunes290
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:23 PM
Me and hubby would miss the skid event in your situation- not all the time but heck yeah every so often I don't think it's a big deal-
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Ebfam
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:33 PM
U need to take time for yourself. We have my husbands son the entire school year and we go out at least once or twice a month just the two of us. But we also make sure we bring him somewhere once or twice a month too.
packermomof2
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:49 PM
3 moms liked this

You never missed anything for your kids, but you want him to miss something for his kids because you want to go out.  On one hand I see where you are coming from, but on the other you're asking him to do something you weren't willing to do for your own kids...

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:53 PM
Switch weekends around with bm then...that is what we do...sometimes that means we have them two weekends in a row but then we still get to do our stuff. We plan the calendar with bm a few months in advance. Ask dh if that would be ok....do not ask him to skip skids events...that won't go over well. Yes, go to the concert with someone else this time or see if you can move weekends....
mom2cheesebug
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 11:22 PM
2 moms liked this

I would ask him once if he wanted to skip events for a night, if he said no, i would invite a girlfriend and have a girls night out. I could never ask him to miss his kids events. They are only kids once, we will be together for the rest of our lives.

LadyFreeRider
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 11:29 PM
She plainly said in the OP that she would not ask her DH to miss any of his kids events. that she would either have to go without him or skip it entirely.

Quoting packermomof2:

You never missed anything for your kids, but you want him to miss something for his kids because you want to go out.  On one hand I see where you are coming from, but on the other you're asking him to do something you weren't willing to do for your own kids...

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LucyHarper
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 11:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to parenthood, kids come before concerts. I would never ever skip one of my kids or stepkids events over some concert or whatever that I wanted to go to, and I would never expect that of my husband. Imagine being one of the kids and having daddy, who they only get to be with every other weekend, start blowing off their events that they work so hard at so he can go with his new wife to some concert. Also, if the custody agreement is ever looked back over, the judge would not take kindly to a dad who doesn't seem to be very involved and interested. Imagine only getting to see your kids for four days a month, you would want to take every moment you can with them too.

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