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Looking for legal advice sort of.

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:43 AM
  • 6 Replies

I have two birth children and their father is really involved in their lives. My DH has one son that is bio and on that is under tech terms his foster son (he is the brother to his bio son) Their mom isn't involved at all and her rights were severed when the youngest was 6mo. DH is out of town frequently and it got me thinking that if something were to happen while he is gone either to him or one of the boys I'm SCRUED. This last week DH was gone all week and I had two graveyard shifts I couldn't get out of. My Ex ended up staying at our house and when he asked if something were to happen what were the protocals and such. Then it hit me, if the boys were to get hurt I could probably be able to sign for the youngest since he shares my last name but the elder I wouldn't be able to b/c he has his biofathers last name. Is there any legal forms or steps other than adoption that can be filled to give me this legal right if something were to happen, and not just for the boys. My daughters have their dads last name and even though DH would have no problem getting their dad if i wasn't available sometimes he isn't always in town either. Dh had already started the adoption process on the eldest but its been delayed for 6mo because the money orders that BM's mom sent (she agreed to pay half the cost of the adoption) were not cashed in time by the lawer so now she is in a whole court battle with the lawer over that. The adoption process has to be re-started when this is over because it's already been over a year and there were limits on that. Would I have to do a full adoption or can I just get custodial rights. Neither DH or I want to take my exs rights so adoption would be an issue on that side.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:43 AM
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Replies (1-6):
zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:42 AM
Yes. You can simply have a piece of paper that states that you and dh give your ex permission to make any medical decisions nessasry while in his care and you both sign it. Same for you and skids. That should be enough. You could also have it notarized and is could have your lawyer draw it up which would be best but costs money. I always have this in hand when I take skids anywhere but we have the same last name so it was never even asked...
Cambriagurlmom
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:01 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting zannahdeux:

Yes. You can simply have a piece of paper that states that you and dh give your ex permission to make any medical decisions nessasry while in his care and you both sign it. Same for you and skids. That should be enough. You could also have it notarized and is could have your lawyer draw it up which would be best but costs money. I always have this in hand when I take skids anywhere but we have the same last name so it was never even asked...


Thanks. I know DH carries the Custody award letter with him everywhere because he has come into issues when it comes to his son "foster son" I always make fun of him and say he should laminate the darn thing because everyone here thinks he is not only DH's child but my own (he looks a lot like me and him for weirdness factor lol) I guess we should head down to court house and get something filled out and laminated (we go camping almost everyweek and to the river all the time)

angelmommy2806
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:10 AM
2 moms liked this
Get a power of attorney letter. You can Google them to find how to word it. Then get it notarized and your good. I have one and I can take care of anything regarding school, medical, dental, and extracurricular activities.
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pseudomamma
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:44 PM

I used to carry a form giving me permission by DH to get medical attention for SK.  However, the one time I needed it, the stupid person behind the admitting desk didn't recognize the form (even though it had their logo).   I was also listed as an emergency contact on all paperwork.  I was listed at the dr offices, schools, etc as someone who could discuss anything having to do with SK.  Regarding Jr, DH and I are both guardians and all that need to know have copies of the court papers.  Get the for off the Internet and have DH sign it before you need it.

newstepmom61811
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:09 PM
Power of attorney for minors, most states have the form on line, print it out, may have to have it notarized. Gives you rights in DH absence. Still go through with the adoption. The POA leaves BM rights in place over yours if she is there. Once kids are adopted, you are mom, full legal rights.
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KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 10:06 AM

In case of an emergency, you won't need anything.  Doctors and hospitals treat life threatening emergencies without a signature.  So anything that can potentially "happen" while their legal guardian is not around is probably going to be in the nature of an injury that will be treated without a signature.  There is always the off chance that something else could happen.....so a power of attorney is not a bad idea, but it's not something you should be stressing about. 

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